Why are the E-Ring details so important?!

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
387 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Mrs_Galoshes:  Nope, I’m right there with you. I didn’t even know the specifications of my ring until I started searching for a wedding band and I just so happened to ask a jeweler. 😀 

We’ve been engaged for 3 years and it’s been the most amazing engagement. Not just because of my ring but because of the man who gave it to me! 

Post # 4
5905 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@Mrs_Galoshes:  …hey, we all got our hang ups…

It doesn’t make us bad people

Post # 5
810 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’m right with you on this one. At the end of the day it is a rock. Literally a rock. And I don’t think women completely factor in the implications of the price tag of their “Dream ring.”

Do you want a down payment on a house, or a rock?

Obviously if you have the finances, who cares. But if you have to YEARN for a ring, that is a red flag that you cannot afford it and the monery would go to better use elsewhere.
Maybe I am just boring and practical?


Post # 6
198 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@Mrs_Galoshes:  You said: “Isn’t the point of the E-Ring that your FI went out on his own, with the plan that he was going to acquire a tangible symbol of his devotion and dedication to you? He chose this for YOU. My personal belief is that you have to be gracious for this wonderful gift -both the physical manifestation of the ring, and the symbolism that this person has committed to spending the rest of their lives with you.”


I picked my setting and gave him specs that both of us negotiated on. He had the final say in the center diamond, though. I am 100% gracious, and I don’t think it means anything less. He insisted I pick the setting, because he was 100% clueless. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being particular. (I do, however, have a problem with ungraciousness).

Post # 7
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I want white gold because it’s a metal that will last. I want a setting that I will actually be pleased to look at because I ACTUALLY like it, not just because it means my FI loves me. I’d rather have a ring that is a symbol of his love that I actually would want to wear even it if wasn’t a symbol. I want a bigger carat size because I like big jewelry, and I want it to have good color and clarity because if it’s big, flaws will really show through.

I do applaud you for your thoughts and feelings on this though. I made sure SO knew a lot about what style ring I wanted because I think if he had gotten me something else I would have been pretty disappointed. Not only that but I would feel guilty that I didn’t like the symbolic ring that he got for me to wear.

Post # 8
147 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Mrs_Galoshes:  I am totally with you! You are certainly not a clod of a woman!

I love the fact that my husband took his sister and his mother with him when he went shopping for a ring. Like you, it is not a ring I would pick for myself… not at all… but I love the fact that it comes from him.

However I get that jewellery is a very personal choice and that we plan to wear these rings for the rest of our lives. Jewellery isn’t a huge deal to me but it is to other Bees and so I understand why they would want to be involved in the process. Also, being on the ‘bee has made me appreciate the touching details and intricacy of other people’s rings.

Post # 9
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

The important part is that FI picked me to spend his life with, him being the one that picked out the ring was not important.

Some women want imput on their ring because they plan to wear it for the rest of their life.  Why shouldn’t you absolutely love something you are going to wear every day?  

We had a budget we were comfortable with, and I picked out the ring entirely on my own.  It worked for us and we are both happy about it.  But what works for one couple isn’t going to work for every couple.  People should do what feels right to them and not worry about what others choose to do with their lives.

Post # 10
1599 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

The ring details are important to me because it’s something I’m going to wear/look at for the rest of my life.  Why would those details NOT be important?!


Post # 12
416 posts
Helper bee

Some people don’t care to spend thousands on a ring they hate.

Post # 14
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I get what you are saying, I would’ve preferred that my fiance picked something out and surprised me.

However, he really wanted to involve me, so he bought a stone and asked me to pick a setting. With some bad luck that involved a awful jeweler, we are needing to get a different stone, now we are staring at diamonds together trying to decide which color rating we like best.

He convinced me to help pick originally by telling me that we are a team and make all important life decisions together, that he would never buy a house without consulting me, so why a ring? That I will be wearing this for the rest of my life and that he wanted me to love it. That being said, we are getting a modest ring by the bees standards.

Post # 15
8388 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Mrs_Galoshes:  I went shopping with my husband for my ring because I didn’t want a diamond center stone.  I knew that he would be getting a lot of pressure from sales associates for my choice and I didn’t want him to have to deal with that alone.  Also, I’m not really a jewelry person, so spending thousands on a ring doesn’t make sense to me. 

Post # 16
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Honestly I feel like the idea that you should love it because it came from him is a little odd. If your SO bought you a hideous sweater, would you actually want to wear it and be happy about it just because it came from him? I’m not going to be shy to admit that SO has got me some pretty lame gifts in the past. I’m actually more appreciative of my ring and it’s symoblism because he spent a lot of time getting it made and making sure it was exactly what I wanted, since I was going to be wearing it every day. 

Not to say that you shouldn’t be thankful for your ring if it didn’t happen that way.

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