Post # 1
Enlighten me Bees, because I could just very well be a dumb clod, and a terrible excuse for a woman.
Why so *some* ladies get so hung up on the specs of the E-Ring? “It HAS to be at least 1.4 carats!” “I can’t wait to exchange this setting!” “This is H clarity, I said I wanted D!” You catch my drift…
Isn’t the point of the E-Ring that your FI went out on his own, with the plan that he was going to acquire a tangible symbol of his devotion and dedication to you? He chose this for YOU. My personal belief is that you have to be gracious for this wonderful gift -both the physical manifestation of the ring, and the symbolism that this person has committed to spending the rest of their lives with you.
I am also under the impression that a thoughtful person, really in tune with their partner would not pick a horrible egregious ring. I am also of the believe that spending money one does not have, or that can be better allocated towards more practical things isn’t always a good idea.
Mr. Galoshes picked out my ring on his own. It’s not what I would have chosen for myself (round solitaire with a twist setting in white gold) but I know he was very proud of his decision. He believes that solitaires are classy, and will never go out of style. I think he’s right, and I love my ring because it is from him, and it is gorgeous – even though I would not have thought to get it for myself. I know nothing of the exact carat weight or clarity, or cost – but I know it was purchased with me in mind and every time I look down at it, I get excited to spend the rest of my life with such a thoughtful man.
Surely, I can’t be alone – can I?
Post # 3
@Mrs_Galoshes: Nope, I’m right there with you. I didn’t even know the specifications of my ring until I started searching for a wedding band and I just so happened to ask a jeweler. 😀
We’ve been engaged for 3 years and it’s been the most amazing engagement. Not just because of my ring but because of the man who gave it to me!
Post # 4
@Mrs_Galoshes: …hey, we all got our hang ups…
It doesn’t make us bad people
Post # 5
I’m right with you on this one. At the end of the day it is a rock. Literally a rock. And I don’t think women completely factor in the implications of the price tag of their “Dream ring.”
Do you want a down payment on a house, or a rock?
Obviously if you have the finances, who cares. But if you have to YEARN for a ring, that is a red flag that you cannot afford it and the monery would go to better use elsewhere.
Maybe I am just boring and practical?
Post # 6
@Mrs_Galoshes: You said: “Isn’t the point of the E-Ring that your FI went out on his own, with the plan that he was going to acquire a tangible symbol of his devotion and dedication to you? He chose this for YOU. My personal belief is that you have to be gracious for this wonderful gift -both the physical manifestation of the ring, and the symbolism that this person has committed to spending the rest of their lives with you.”
I picked my setting and gave him specs that both of us negotiated on. He had the final say in the center diamond, though. I am 100% gracious, and I don’t think it means anything less. He insisted I pick the setting, because he was 100% clueless. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being particular. (I do, however, have a problem with ungraciousness).
Post # 7
I want white gold because it’s a metal that will last. I want a setting that I will actually be pleased to look at because I ACTUALLY like it, not just because it means my FI loves me. I’d rather have a ring that is a symbol of his love that I actually would want to wear even it if wasn’t a symbol. I want a bigger carat size because I like big jewelry, and I want it to have good color and clarity because if it’s big, flaws will really show through.
I do applaud you for your thoughts and feelings on this though. I made sure SO knew a lot about what style ring I wanted because I think if he had gotten me something else I would have been pretty disappointed. Not only that but I would feel guilty that I didn’t like the symbolic ring that he got for me to wear.
Post # 8
@Mrs_Galoshes: I am totally with you! You are certainly not a clod of a woman!
I love the fact that my husband took his sister and his mother with him when he went shopping for a ring. Like you, it is not a ring I would pick for myself… not at all… but I love the fact that it comes from him.
However I get that jewellery is a very personal choice and that we plan to wear these rings for the rest of our lives. Jewellery isn’t a huge deal to me but it is to other Bees and so I understand why they would want to be involved in the process. Also, being on the ‘bee has made me appreciate the touching details and intricacy of other people’s rings.
Post # 9
The important part is that FI picked me to spend his life with, him being the one that picked out the ring was not important.
Some women want imput on their ring because they plan to wear it for the rest of their life. Why shouldn’t you absolutely love something you are going to wear every day?
We had a budget we were comfortable with, and I picked out the ring entirely on my own. It worked for us and we are both happy about it. But what works for one couple isn’t going to work for every couple. People should do what feels right to them and not worry about what others choose to do with their lives.
Post # 10
The ring details are important to me because it’s something I’m going to wear/look at for the rest of my life. Why would those details NOT be important?!
Post # 11
@freshflowers: My feelings exactly.
FI & I had tons of discussions about rings, etc before he went out and bought one. He was basically like, “You know I love you forever, and we’re going to spend the rest of our lives together. If you want a giant blinged out ring, I can get that – but it’ll set us buying a home, having children and living a comfortable life back probably 2 years.”
I didn’t really care about the size or price, and left the decision up to him. I now have an enagagement ring, we can afford any little detail we want with the wedding, we can go to Europne on our honeymoon, and we’ll be able to put a down payment down on a house next year. I don’t feel like I’m missing anything.
I guess it’s just a matter of personal taste. *boring/practical brides unite*
Post # 12
Some people don’t care to spend thousands on a ring they hate.
Post # 13
@bkrocks13: Obviously everyone is entitled to have what they want.
I guess, since FI both are the products of crappy marriages – what we want is an awesome marriage. And that’s what my ring symbolizes to me. I get excited to look at it, not because of it’s carat weight but because I know my future is going to be awesome.
Post # 14
I get what you are saying, I would’ve preferred that my fiance picked something out and surprised me.
However, he really wanted to involve me, so he bought a stone and asked me to pick a setting. With some bad luck that involved a awful jeweler, we are needing to get a different stone, now we are staring at diamonds together trying to decide which color rating we like best.
He convinced me to help pick originally by telling me that we are a team and make all important life decisions together, that he would never buy a house without consulting me, so why a ring? That I will be wearing this for the rest of my life and that he wanted me to love it. That being said, we are getting a modest ring by the bees standards.
Post # 15
@Mrs_Galoshes: I went shopping with my husband for my ring because I didn’t want a diamond center stone. I knew that he would be getting a lot of pressure from sales associates for my choice and I didn’t want him to have to deal with that alone. Also, I’m not really a jewelry person, so spending thousands on a ring doesn’t make sense to me.
Post # 16
Honestly I feel like the idea that you should love it because it came from him is a little odd. If your SO bought you a hideous sweater, would you actually want to wear it and be happy about it just because it came from him? I’m not going to be shy to admit that SO has got me some pretty lame gifts in the past. I’m actually more appreciative of my ring and it’s symoblism because he spent a lot of time getting it made and making sure it was exactly what I wanted, since I was going to be wearing it every day.
Not to say that you shouldn’t be thankful for your ring if it didn’t happen that way.