(Closed) Why are there SO many posts about being a young bride??!!

posted 6 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@greenviolets:  Lol, may I ask if YOU are a young bride?  FWIW I rarely read the young brides posts (sorry ladies) because I can’t relate to them as well any more, my advice/ideas are likely too…old lol.

My 2 cents (though likely not worth that) is that the younger brides NEED more support.  Less “worldly” so to speak, less mature.  Yes, there are some super mature ones here and elsewhere, but overall, I think bride brain and panic attacks the younger ladies more.  Plus I think younger people, in general, are more inclined to see their situation as unique, and unto themselves.  So are less likely to be able to take advice from another post/user/poll/suggestion and see how it applies to their own.  NOT saying they are less bright/smart etc, just maybe more narrow focus than some of the more seasoned people.  PLus, at least for me, when I was in my early 20’s, life was about ME, I was my own whole world.  Maybe the same applies to the young bride popuation also?

Post # 5
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Lol, I hear ya.  I quit reading them.  I just couldn’t wrap my head around half the issues.  But young is often naive, and ignorance is bliss!

Post # 6
Member
2143 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

2 things that come to mind as possible contributing reasons:

– Younger brides have younger friends who may not be getting married yet, so they might not have been to as many weddings and don’t have that wedding-specific experience to draw on that includes stuff that’s obvious to those who’ve been to 100 weddings.

– Young brides face certain discrimination/judgement that’s tough to deal with. (Sadly this discrimination happens on the bee too, it’s happened to me and it discourages me from posting my age or on certain threads.) And just because other people are going through the same type of stuff, it’s still not totally the same, and each of us will have specific struggles that we’ll want support for, so many similiar threads pop up. 

I don’t think there’s much harm in it, if they don’t apply to you don’t read them. 

Post # 7
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You are aware that you are posting on the 20-somethings board, right? That may have something to do with it…

@Take The Reins:  I think that is a pretty stereotypical point of view, I realize you said that there are exceptions, but I think there is something inherently wrong with the idea that a bride in her early twenties is probably narrow-minded, naive, can’t see how others posts apply to their own situations, and get bride brain/panic attacks more often. I certainly don’t think that I am any of those things, nor do I agree that certain wedding ideas are old or young – wedding trends of the moment tend to be popular despite the couple’s ages. 

And the reason younger brides often need support are because people tend to make false assumptions just like the ones already being made in this post, and it is hurtful to have others put you down when you are so excited about your upcoming marriage. Yes, sometimes there are girls I see posting on here with lots of relationship drama that clearly are not ready for marriage – but they’re not always young! I’ll admit there is probably some correllation there, but the stereotypes about young brides do really aggravate me. I was only 21 when I got engaged, but I had lived on my own on the other side of the country from my family, was supporting myself, and have been through a lot of life experiences, so the blanket statements about young brides get to be irritating.

Post # 10
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@greenviolets:  I think we’re thinking of different 20-something posts then…I was thinking of the ones where brides vent at getting a bad reaction just because of their age. I think you’re talking about the ones where they’re clearly not ready for marriage and aren’t listening to other people’s attempts to talk to them about it. I feel the need to put in sarcastic quotes about how those posts usually go, but I’ll resist the urge to not offend anyone lol.

Post # 12
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Wonderstruck:  I don’t think its sterotypical…do you disagree that MOST younger woman have less life experiance than older woman do?  I think it’s a given no?  More life experineces as we age, give us very different insights.  More relationships give us a larger scope on situations.  I didn’t mean narrow minded as in not willing to be open, more just a narrower scope of reality when you are younger, things seem bigger, small issues larger.  At least that’s what I faced in my late teens early 20’s.  The more things I experianced, the less minor dramas upset me, the less I cared about others opinions.  I think the repetitive posts about the same issues illustrates my statement that at that age, everyone thinks their situation is unique, even though their same question was answered in someone elses thread many times before.  Or maybe they just don’t read the other threads,  I don’t know, it was just a thought.  In most of the salons/bridal shows I have been to, the younger brides (say under 25’s) are the ones squealing and leaping and giggling and carrying on, which is great to see their joy but they also have the largest entourage and the most seeking of approval from said group than the older brides I’ve seen, Most of the older brides are a bit more composed, relaxed, willing to make a decision on their own without needing mass approval.  Just a mautruty thing I think.  When you’re 18 or 19 or 20, life is HUGE, monumental, and everything you do feels like the biggest decision. Just saying there is USUALLY a maturity gap between early 20’s that things like weddings can take over.  Of course there are mature young brides, I didn’t say there weren’t.  Same as there are some really immature older brides too.

I wasn’t trying to insult younger brides, Greenviolet asked a question.  I gave a possible answer from my personal experience.  I wasn’t out to offend you personally…

Post # 13
Member
9609 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

i am a young bride, but i agree everyone is ready for marriage at different stages, my cousin was a newlywed with a baby when she turned 21 and I think had just finished her education degree, but I plan on waiting until I am 25, I want to finish university first and start a career, I am finally doing the degree I wanted to do, and want to do well in it before having my wedding. And I know that I am not mature enough yet, I have some issues to work on both myself and issues in my and my FI’s relationship before we can get married. I know marriage won’t make those issues automatically go away and I want to get things ironed out before we marry 🙂

Post # 14
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I dont see what the issue is, you could say the same for a number of topics ie invitation etiquette, MIL issues etc. If you dont want to read it, ignore it and move on.

Post # 15
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Wonderstruck:  |And the reason younger brides often need support are because people tend to make false assumptions just like the ones already being made in this post, and it is hurtful to have others put you down when you are so excited about your upcoming marriage. Yes, sometimes there are girls I see posting on here with lots of relationship drama that clearly are not ready for marriage – but they’re not always young! I’ll admit there is probably some correllation there, but the stereotypes about young brides do really aggravate me. I was only 21 when I got engaged, but I had lived on my own on the other side of the country from my family, was supporting myself, and have been through a lot of life experiences, so the blanket statements about young brides get to be irritating.

Do you think you are the exception, or the rule though?  And in my post, I did clearly state that it was some, not all.

Post # 16
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Well… I’m a young bride, ( engaged at 21 ) but I kinda feel like if you need to ask if you are too young to get married, the answer is yes. 

Once people figure out how old I really am ( everyone at work thought Fi and I were 28…I look old? hahaha) they DO tend to ask me Why and give some flack. However, I think that how you react has a lot to do with it. 

I COULD  get “ZOMG! They think I’m an Ickle Babykins!! Must show how mature I am!!!!!! I  need validation!”  Or, I could let it roll and just say, ” we had considered that but this is the right option for us at this moment in time. Thanks though.”

Also, I am the OLNY one of my friends that is engaged. All of my friends are still very much in the college lifestyle, so yes occasionally I do jump in to the “ZOMG!” mindset, but then i realise that I am at a different place then they are.

Pardon my rambling. Im working on a paper and haven’t slept yet.

The topic ‘Why are there SO many posts about being a young bride??!!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors