Post # 1
from what I know, if you are invited to a wedding shower, you are expected to give them a shower gift, and then later another gift for the wedding too?
wtf, I think that seems a little…. er…. gift piggy if that is true. what is the point of a wedding shower if you are also going to get gifts at the wedding? I especially think this is weird when the couple doesn’t actually need very many things (say, if they have been living together for a long time). the original purpose of wedding gifts were for young couples who didn’t have any any household things at all!*
please excuse me- I’ve literally attended one wedding shower in my life. my friends are not the type of girls to throw these things so sometimes I can be clueless!
*hee hee, I think that we should eliminate the tradition of wedding gifts, and instead, young people should get “first apartment” gifts when they move out of their parents place for the first time. maybe that would have eliminated my own problems such as aluminum cookware from the thrift store, and eating straight out of the pot!
Post # 3
The custom of the bridal shower is said to have grown out of earlier dowry practices, when a poor woman’s family might not have the money to provide a dowry for her, or when a father refused to give his daughter her dowry because he did not approve of the marriage. In such situations, friends of the woman would gather together and bring gifts that would compensate for the dowry and allow her to marry the man of her choice.
I googled it 🙂 Totally interesting and not what I would have thought
Post # 4
well, traditions change and I wish the new tradition was that wedding showers were all about girls eating cake, but not exchanging gifts. it only seems fair!
Post # 5
@janie-janie: I liked my gifts LOL
Post # 6
@mwitter80: <– hmm, that is very interesting!!
I love the idea of wedding/bridal showers. It is a day to get presents. But more important, to me anyway, is that I get to celebrate my upcoming nuptuals with a lot of women in my life who are important to me. There’s a lot more imtimacy involved at a shower than at a wedding. Games can be played, questions asked, and I will have a lot more time to spend with each guest than at the wedding itself.
I’m not sure how other brides feel on this, but if someone gives me a great gift at the shower, I don’t expect another great gift, or necessarily one at all, for the wedding.
Post # 7
At first I thought it seemed like a weird tradition, but it is really fun to have a party that is all about the bride. We had a ‘normal’ shower, and it was really nice. I got a lot of lingerie and nice gifts for me, as well as some gifts from the registry. I wouldn’t expect gifts for both the shower and the wedding..it was just a little perk!
You’re only a bride once…
Post # 8
of course I love getting gifts!
I was only thinking about other people’s showers. like back when I was invited to my FSIL’s shower, and I felt like I had to buy her a gift in additon to the (fairly expensive) wedding gift we got her. I was like, “oh crap, now I have to buy two gifts?”
but definitely, if I had a shower for me, I wouldn’t expect them at all! but I would accept them graciously if people did it.
I’m personally not having a shower. but I DO want a bachelorette party!! bring on the toys, yeah!
Post # 9
It’s like an unformal recognition of our wedding, but without the pressure the actual day brings. FMIL is also using it as a meet and greet for some of her friends and family.
Post # 10
OP, that’s how I view them, which is why I didn’t want one (and didn’t have one). To be honest, I don’t see the point of ANY pre-wedding stuff. We didn’t have an engagement party or bach parties, either.
Post # 11
I assumed that a bridal shower was when the older women, and friends give the bride advice, and gifts to help her along in her future marriage. Kind of a ‘we love ya, and are watching out for you. Here’s things/ideas/advice that can make the rough times of life go a little smoother.’
But then, I’ve never been to a bridal shoewr, so idk.
Post # 12
MapleBecky, I heart your screen name!
my FI warned me that my MIL might host a “remote” shower in toronto, even if I couldn’t make it. wouldn’t that be strange? ha ha, maybe I could Skype in!
Post # 13
I’ve been wondering this myself for a long time! That is interesting.
Post # 14
I love getting gifts, but all the showers/parties are so confusing! It’s like you have to buy several different gifts because the bachelorette party is different from the bridal shower which is different from the actual wedding gift. I’ve kind of figured out a formula though. I figure that I will spend $100 on the couple. $10 goes to trashy panties, $30-40 for the bridal shower gift and then $50-60 for the wedding gift.
Post # 15
All that party business I can’t believe some people do all four.. engagement party, bridal shower, bach-party, then the wedding/reception. Sorry its just too much IMO. I can’t be bothered.