Post # 1
Yes the question is why are my in-laws (particularly FMIL/FSIL) so darn rude. We don’t talk or even say hi and its not anything I want its her…I would love to be friends but she just doesn’t like me. We haven’t spoken for over a year. My fiance is very close with his sister and that is cool. So next weekend is my FSIL’s 10-year wedding anniversary…she is throwing herself a party and of course I am not invited but everyone and their mom is. I feel hurt but just over this 31 year old woman acting like a child. I talked to my fiance about it and he said “why would someone who you don’t talk to invite you to their party” TRUE but I am almost a part of the family…if it was me having a party and I didn’t invite her I would hear about it from my fiance, he tells me “be the bigger person” but i’m sick of being the bigger person with someone who could care less about me. I think my fiance is hurt I am not invited but I know he won’t say anything to her, he is interested in keeping the peace with his family and doesn’t want to stir the pot…should I expect him to say anything? Should I even be upset about this? I am thinking of flying to san diego that weekend and just relax and not even worry about this.
Post # 3
OH boy! I’m sorry to hear about the drama you are marrying into. Inlaws are a crapshoot!
Kind of weird that your FI is close, but then says a comment like she doesn’t need to invite you because you don’t talk.
Well I hope with time and your new marriage things will change!
Are they coming to the wedding?
Post # 4
@fusionwedding: Am I reading this wrong? Your FMIL is only 31? Not that it changes anything…
Post # 5
@FrozenFeet: I think it’s the FSIL who is 31.
@fusionwedding: I think at some point I would be expecting my FI to stand up for me and tell his mother and sister that he will not tolerate them treating melike this.
Post # 6
sorry i got FMIL and FSIL on my mind and they are like one! But yes my FSIL is 31 not FMIL.
Post # 7
hang on… is your FI planning on going to this party that you are not invited to???? that would not be happening if it was me – he would decline out of respect for me and our relationship
Post # 9
I think any serious action needs to be taken by both you and your FI to build a relationship with his family. This is not a “be the better person” bit but really, you can’t get anything accomplished if you don’t work for it as well. Has your FI said anything to his family about working on their relationship with you? This worries me since you are going to be married.
Post # 10
This is seriously just wrong. WRONG. Does he want your sister to come to your wedding? Then why would he expect her to not invite you to her thing? How would he feel if you said to him “Well I don’t see why I would invite her since I haven’t talk to her in a year.”It is super selfish of your FI to not stand up for you being a part of his life. I wouldn’t accept this in the least. Either he gets you invited or he doesn’t go. You are suppose to be a team.
Post # 11
It is so wrong and unfortunatley my fiance doesn’t think he is doing anything wrong and has made it clear this is my problem and I need to fix it. It hurts me terribly and it just tells me his family is more important, which is totally fine, I’m just not the girl for him because I am not going to tolerate this anymore.
Post # 12
I agree with you, if he can’t put you first, then you need to end the relationship. If not, it will just get worse as the years go on. ((HUGS))
Post # 13
@fusionwedding: No. No. No and no! He thinks he’s doing nothing wrong? I’ll tell you an eerily similar story.
it was my inlaws yearly family reunion this past weekend. Yet I haven’t spoken to the inlaws in months due to their disrespect of both hubby and I. (Long story short, I am the devil’s spawn and his life was ruined when he married me. They are nuts).
So do you think Hubby went to this reunion without me? No way! If he did, he would essentially be saying “Thanks for treating my wife like garbage, now let’s get this reunion started and have some fun without her!”
He said if he went, he would be miserable thinking of me at home and it would look to them like they can treat me like sh!t without any consequences.
I don’t understand how your FI sees it any differently. He must treat you as if you are already married. And his place is beside his wife when the family is being unreasonably direspectful towards her.
Post # 14
i tried to tlk to him about it and he said “u know where the door is” wow, not even a “babe I know ur hurting let me put my foot down” oh well! He’s good at running away from problems and I guess Ihave been seeing this coming just having the hardest time letting go. Thanks everyone for your frank advice and kind words…
Post # 15
@fusionwedding: “U know where the door is”????
I hope you are packing as we speak. I’m so so so sorry he said that. I would definitely walk at this point. Big big hugs and PM me if you need an outlet to vent further.