(Closed) Why are wedding so stressful?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Why are weddings so stressful
    Trying to get things perfect is hard : (4 votes)
    15 %
    Dealing with other people, they are not helpful at all... makes everything more difficult : (11 votes)
    42 %
    It's such a huge event and my expectations are so high : (6 votes)
    23 %
    Other - tell us : (5 votes)
    19 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    359 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I think it’s the deatails, and the way things just…grow. Our original plan was to elope, and last night I sat gluing tiny rhinestones to tiny flowers to improve our invitations  to the 20 guest who plan to attend our….elopement.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1246 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    The last month was definitely the hardest for me. Other people started to get really involved and it came down to nitty-gritty details with vendors. However, the last month was also the time when I could really truly start checking some things off the to-do list, which was a huge relief. My best suggestion, I guess, is to do a lot of things for yourself to relax, if you can, and I’d do them by yourself. Get a pedi or a facial or a massage, go see a midday matinee, take a long bath, or just go walk around for a while for exercise. I personally didn’t manage to relax until I was finally walking down the aisle. 🙂

    Post # 5
    Member
    672 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    It stresses me out because of the money involved.  It breaks my heart to spend so much for one day, even if it is our wedding.  I’m sure when it gets closer I’ll be stressed by the sheer amount of things that need to get done, but right now, it’s the cost of everything and daydreaming about all the other things we could spend this $$ on, haha.

    Post # 6
    Member
    349 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    I voted other, and here’s why:

    FAMILY! Trying to make everyone happy. Both sets of parents were gracious enough to contribute financially, so therefore, they also had say in the guest list, which ended up being a huge point of contention with my mom and I. We both orignally wanted a very small, intimate wedding of 65 people, and because my mom wanted to invite a lot of her coworkers, our guest list is now closer to 100, and her contribution didn’t cover all her guests. It was frustrating.

    Also, we had some major problems with our groomsmen, and my fiance unfortunately had to lose two good friends over it.

    We expected to go crazy over everything else, including all the details and high expectations (first big wedding in both our families in 10 plus years). In the end, it ended up beig our families that drove us both nuts, and everything else was easy to take care of!

    Post # 7
    Member
    1044 posts
    Bumble bee

    I feel stressed as well in having to plan everything because my special day is just a day after yours.  I still haven’t finished all the preparations for the wedding and have quite a bit to do.  But I’m trying to take it day by day and giving myself a deadline for each task.  I’m also getting family involved so that they can help out so that everything can eventually come together.

    Post # 8
    Member
    6661 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I voted that MY expectations are way high.

    Believe it or not I started out wanting to elope! And just this morning I canceled my appointment to purchase a simple, resonably priced gown and now plan on buying a $7,500 Pnina stunner! What’s come over me?? The anxiety/panic attack I had last night about getting the perfect gown didn’t help – but where did that come from?

    The ‘elopement’ idea is still appealing to me, but has been thrown out the window. Now we’re probably going to have an over 200 reception. Wow.

    Post # 9
    Member
    796 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2009

    I also picked ‘Other’. I didn’t experience a lot of stress during the wedding planning, but when I did I think it was because of what other people would think. My wedding is the BIGGEST thing I had ever planned, and it was something that everyone my husband and I knew would see as an expression of us. So, of course, it had to be perfect!

    Post # 10
    Member
    1276 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I think it’s a lot of factors.  We probably all do have high expectations of our wedding day, and there is a lot of pressure to make it be "just so" for the guests.  People outside of it, especially if they haven’t been through it, can’t really relate.  And everyone has an opinion on what you "should" or "should not" do.  Unlike almost anything else, there are a lot of rules that you don’t encounter in everyday life.  On top of all that, show your stress and people will tell you you are a "bridezilla". 

    Beyond that, it is a huge deal emotionally.  I think the planning etc kind of give us a place to channel it.  But I’ve planned events before, and believe me that I’ve never before wanted to  scream b/c a vendor misspelled my name on an invoice.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1245 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    ugh for me its all three!

    I know it’s my day, my and my "husbands", but i also want to make sure everyone has a great time, and i want everything to be as perfect as i can get it.

    Post # 12
    Member
    541 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Money is the biggest stress. It’s a struggle between having a nice wedding and spending a lot of money on a single day.

    Two things that have helped me: 1) Realizing that there are certain things that are going to cost a lot no matter what (food, a decent photographer) 2) Cut anything that costs money that isn’t important to you. For me, it was flowers.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I don’t think it IS stressfull. I’ll admit I’m a very creative person and so some things come easier to me picking colours seeing how things are going to work together without seeing them together and so that makes it easier, also being creative helps because you can make a lot of things yourself. Also I’m having a very casual laidback wedding the important part to me is that I marry the man I love the rest is just fluff IMO, I honestly can’t imagine ANYTHING that would make me say my wedding day was “ruined”. My cousin’s a bit of an amature photographer so she’s going to take the picture’s and although I don’t use this word a lot I have to in this case I HATE posed pictures so it’s just going to be whatever she snaps through the day. My grandma made my dress the materal and pattern cost $50 pretty much all the dacor’s come from either products or supply’s baught at the dollar store, YES the dollar store it’s the same stuff they have at store’s where you pay 5 times as much and it’s actually been kinda fun.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2116 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I definitely say dealing with other people– mostly people who want me to invite people who I don’t want to invite..

    Post # 15
    Member
    1 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    For those worried about how much it will cost…think of it like tis; there will be plenty of days that you will not remember in 5 years time, even more in 10 and a whole lot more in 20 and you dont have to spend thouseands of dollars on that day, but don’t feel bad for spending all you can on your wedding because it will be a day you will remember 60 years down the road.

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