Post # 1
Before we got engaged, my honey and I had talked about the idea of having a destination wedding. We both love to travel and it seemed like it would make some of the ‘sticky’ family issues easier.
We got engaged last weekend (on a Caribbean cruise) and we are now trying to decide when and where we will actually get married.
Now that it’s real, I’m second guessing the destination wedding thing. I doubt it actually would be easier to deal with the family stuff and would likely mean that some people who are important to me wouldn’t be able to make the trip.
So, what made you decide to have a destination wedding? Are you happy with the choice? Any advice on making it work?
Post # 3
You will definitely make enemies…..fyi. I decided to have a Destination Wedding because i didn’t want to waste $50-60K on one day. We are having a very intimate, and gorgeous wedding in St. Thomas. Just parents, siblings, and 1 friend each. It is costing us less than $15K and we are going to have the time of our lives!! Considering that we will be staying at The Ritz-Carlton, I believe we got a really good deal! – honeymoon included!
Some people have told me that we are being selfish for doing this but at the end of the day…it is OUR wedding. At the end of the day, people who are truly happy for you, will congratulate you no matter what. Best of luck to you.
Post # 4
Although deciding to host a Destination Wedding… it is not easy planning one… however we do not regret our decision, we’d rather spend our money on a week long trip and ceremony than one single day… also… as bad as it sounds… Fiance is of asian decent and we arent swimming in though dough, so deciding to have a Destination Wedding has helped to keep the guest list down (we invited 120 and have a guest list of just over 40 for now).
Of course we are going to miss some important people at our wedding, but this is what we wanted for our day and everyone is showing t o respect that so far 9maybe we’ve been lucky… but no enemies yet)
PS… I would highly recommend a wedding planner who has connections with a travel advisor… i have just under 11 months of planning left so if you want any help, just PM me! good luck
Post # 5
1. Saved money. We live in the most expensive city to have a wedding in Canada. Just to touch the inkling of our vision would’ve cost us easily over $30k. We don’t have that kind of money nor are comfortable with spending that for a one day celebration.
2. Guest list. With the above being said, we were hit with the realization… did we really want to fork out $200 to pay for meals of obligatory invites? The answer was an astounding no. FI was the one who suggested a Destination Wedding to AVOID the logistical nightmare of coordinating our two families and friends.
3. Paradise. After visiting Miami this past summer, I was more convinced than ever that I wanted to get married in my “happy place” (which is a tropical paradise). When Fiance suggested a Destination Wedding, I was totally on board.
I really haven’t looked back since. Actually, having a Destination Wedding is really coming in handy for taking care of the “guest problem”. It weeds out a lot of people who are in it for the free food and in the end if they want to come anyway, it out of their pockey, not mine. I am SUPER excited about it.
DEFINITELY get a travel agent. I am using Beach Bum Vacation (free!) and I haven’t been happier. They have answered all my questions (even if they are completely misdirected) and have REALLY taken out 80% of the stress I had!!
With a Destination Wedding, BOTH you and your Fiance must be on board.
Post # 6
His family was already burned by his sister who had a courthouse wedding and didn’t tell anyone other than him and their father just a few years after their mother died. They all fell left out, and then it only made the situation worse when she stopped talking to family shortly thereafter. (In fact, I just met this future sister-in-law at Christmas – our 4th holiday together!)
We know we have to invite many people to avoid drama, and we don’t have a huge problem with that. But, paying for all of those folks is a stretch and planning an affair here where we live would still leave my family traveling quite far.
Destination Wedding is a natural way to invite many people while keeping the guest list small since most are not that involved with our lives to both attending an event that’s a 10 hour plane ride from here. But, any Destination Wedding will be followed by a more casual AHR to allow those family members to celebrate with us.
Post # 7
For us, it took the pressure off of “decorations” like expensive chair covers and sashes and $3,000 in dinner and alcohol for hundreds of people… And put the emphasis on us starting our lives together. We only have 12 guests and I am beyondddd excited for that.
Our second reason was money, it cost us like $5000 for our Hawaii wedding as opposed to $11,000 for our hometown wedding.
Post # 8
I honestly dont think we are saving any money on our destination wedding. Its about a 70 person wedding and it was honestly the only way we could keep the guest list down. Since we have been dating for so long we have accumulated a lot of “I can’t wait to go to your wedding”.
So instead of paying a Chicago price tag for 250 people we are getting the highest end for 70 people in Colorado and I suppose saving money based in the smaller size.
To appease some grumpy friends, family and coworkers we are doing an open house reception with just appetizersand snacks.
Post # 9
I’m having the same conversation right now with my hubby to be. We are 95% decided to go destination. Similar to the answers above, it’s for the money. We want to celebrate with our friends and family for the week rather than spending so much money on one day.
Post # 10
A Destination Wedding is the only option we considered ever since we started talking about getting married. We both love to travel & just wanted to be different from what everyone else in both of our families do for wedding.
The other reasons are for what’s already been mentioned: Money– we’re spending about 10-11k on our wedding in St. Thomas (not including travel) & giving our guests a LOT more & better quality than we would have been able to give 150-200 guests here in Atlanta.
The second reason is to keep the guest list down. We really wanted to avoid “obligatory” invites & have a very intimate ceremony.
The last reason is that we’d love to spend DAYS with our favorite people rather than a few minutes each with guests that range from favorite people to ppl we only invited because we “had” to.
Post # 11
I don’t think it’s easier at all. For me, I really wanted my wedding in Mexico because I have alot of family there, it would be a celebration on a much larger scale than I could have ever been possible in my home town near Seattle. The cost of the bells and whistles is much cheaper in mexico as well, and I guess I just don’t really mind that alot of people won’t make it. =)
Post # 12
Fo me and Fiance we dont have alot of relatives etc so we never invisioned a big event. We love to go away together. We loved the idea of spending a week with our immediate family since after I marry I will be moving from Canada to NYC to be with Fiance and leavig my family behind and his family lives in Texas so he does not get to spend alot of time with them. It is a chance for us to make alot of memories with our families together! W have invited 80 friends and fam and so far there is 25 of us booked we are antiicipating around 40-45 people! I can not wait we are going to Punta Cana for a week of fun in the sun!
Post # 13
My Fiance and I have known for a long time that when we got married, it would be a destination wedding.
1. My family is small and his family is huge. There would be no way to have a small wedding at home or to exclude anyone from his side. I want an immediate family only wedding. Destination is the way to do that!
2. I was not born with the *bride gene. Things like themes, colour schemes, center pieces, invitations… just aren’t me. I care about marrying my best friend, wearing a beautiful dress and spending the day with my immediate family.
3. Selecting the bridal party! We are having my brother and his sister. Done. If I had an at-home wedding, there would be several people with hurt feelings. My two closest friends would both want to be my Maid/Matron of Honor.
4. We got engaged in Jamaica last month and now we definitely know we want to go back there to get married!
5. It saves us money. We are purchasing our first home within the next few months. Our money is going towards that.
6. Our families get a holiday. My parents have been mulling over the idea for a couple of years and now they finally have a reason to get away! We aren’t expecting people who would have just been “regular guests” to pay to attend our wedding, which is why they aren’t invited.
All in all, I think it’s a personal choice. It works for some couples, not others. The bride and groom will also need to be prepared for some disappointment. If you are inviting tons of people to your Destination Wedding, some people may not be able to attend. Others may express negativity towards the idea in general. Hold you head up high and stick to your decision!
Post # 14
@mrsbruff2b: I am using Beach Cum Vacation too! Steve Curnow has been great to work with and even gets back to you on weekends.
Fiance and I chose to go the Destination Wedding route because we just couldn’t stomach the thought of paying thousands of dollars for a 5 hour event in NYC. And I also knew we couldn’t afford the wedding we really wanted in NYC. At least with a Destination Wedding we are paying a fraction of the cost for the wedding day AND 11 days in paradise. As for our friends and family…a lot of them were pissed that we put the cost off on to them in the sense that they have to pay for themselves if they want to come but, eventually, the ones that we really wanted there came around to the idea and are now excited to come to Jamaica for our nuptials. It may seem selfish to some, but I would rather invest in a week + full of memories and time spent with loved ones than a 5 hour party in which I get to spend maybe 5 minutes tops with each guest.
Post # 15
we’re having a destination wedding too (sort of). we’re having it in the philippines. it was almost an automatic decision for us because we were both born there.
we spent our early childhood there. and that’s where we first met. a lot of our relatives are there and we still have old friends there too. it’s almost like our second home so we feel like it’s not really a 100% destination wedding. our families are excited for the vacation already. my mom has called our relatives over there thrice already since we got engaged (which was last week!)
even our friends here have already expected it long before we were engaged and are willing to fly there to be at our wedding (they have over a year to prepare anyway). so it’s pretty much settled.
finacee and i talked about it over the weekend and we think it’ll be wise to get our suppliers from there since it’s easier in terms of logistics and cheaper too since everything is cheaper there.
Post # 16
We are having a Destination Wedding this oct in Mexico! The reson why we decided to do it this way is due to the fact that 50% of our family lives in Toronto and the other 50% is from Britich Columbia. Where ever we ended up having the wedding half the family would have to travel so we figured what the heck why dont we all travel!!!!!!!! so far the planning has been great you can be as little or as much invalved as you like. Im a very hands on kinda girl so i have been in contact with my WC on a weekly bassis with little details that i want. Over all our entire budget is $8000.00. The travel company that we are going with offers “for every 10 people you get the 11th free!” which has worked out great! (we are at 42 people already). Happy planning!!! if you have any questions feel free to pm me!