Post # 1
I guess I just need to vent. I’m an older bride, 36. Never married, my fiance, 41, never married. We got engaged on Memorial Weekend this year. I always wanted to get married in October because I love fall. Well the destination Caribbean wedding in october got nixed due to MY family freaking over hurricane season…sigh. So we decided to get married in our home state, PA. And even though I’m an older bride I still want to enjoy it all…including the engagement. We set our date October 29, 2010.
A date I won’t budge with. I love Halloween and to me, the date is perfect. Anyway, my mom kept pushing for a may 2010 wedding and I put my foot down since we appeased them w/not going to the Carribean in October to get married, so I refused to change my date.
But now i’m hearing, we wish it were sooner or why are you waiting so long? BLAH BLAH BLAH! I understand what everyone is saying and I honestly hope my family remains healthy until next October but c’mon people, give me a break. Can’t a girl enjoy her engagement?
I don’t want to stress and rush to plan a wedding. We already have the main items taken care of (venue/caterer, dress, photographer, DJ) and now I feel good about just enjoying it all.
Any thoughts or words of wisdom?
Post # 3
People love to say this for some reason. I am 26 and my fiance is 28. We got engaged in March 2008 and we’re getting married in June 2010.
All I heard constantly (even from friends!) was “why are you waiting so longgggg”, “your wedding is so far awayyyyy”, etc. I wanted to take my time planning the wedding. I also wanted to have a nice wedding. The wedding we want (and are having) we wouldn’t have been able to afford if we got married this past summer.
People are so rude and they don’t even realize it.
Post # 4
I know how you feel. We got engaged in Jan. and were sort of thinking about the fall but then decided to push it back to spring 2010. People keep asking why, grandparents keep saying the weird things like I hope I make it… Its pretty irritating. They got over it eventually and now they are just excited.
I hope yours calm down and back off. I’m sure they are just excited for you and want to see you happy as soon as possible. When they realize you are happy with your decision they’ll probably just be happy for you! Good luck!
Post # 5
Sorry to hear about the tuff time they’re giving you. Wedding planning is suppose to be fun! This time is all about you and ur FI. If this date is what you and ur FI plan then I say stick with it!
I wish you the best. Hope they eventually let up.
Post # 6
Just stay true to what you want. People have these old fashioned notions that just because we are older when we get married that we should want to hurry it up. I got engaged at 36 and didn’t get married until I was 38. I savored every moment of the 15 month engagement. I was fully ready to get married by the time our date rolled around, but we both felt that we needed the time that we alloted for our engagement.
You have to do what is right for you and block out all the kvetchers and naysayers. This isn’t their marriage that you are preparing for; it’s yours, and as such you should have whatever time you need to make all your mental and physical preparations!
Post # 7
I’m having a short engagement and heard “Why, is there a reason” and some less blunt people “oh my gosh! are you pregnant”. (I’m not). No matter what people lose a filter when it comes to wedding stuff. But as long as you are comfortable with your decision, most people will get on board.
Post # 8
- Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School
I’m having a long engagement bc I wanted to ENJOY BEING ENGAGED, which every bride deserves…Don’t give these comments a second thought and just revel in this time bc it’s the only time in your life you will be engaged…Another month or two and it will be less than a year until your wedding and the comments will definitely stop…BTW, LOVE the idea of a Hallowedding (if that’s your theme, which I’m kind of assuming it is based on your date!)…
Post # 9
I totally understand how you’re feeling. I’m 26 and he’s 29. By the time we get married, I’ll be 28 and he’ll be 30. We just got engaged in July, but set the date for October 16, 2010. For me, that was the best thing I could have done. At first I was looking at a spring 2010 wedding, but the stress of planning everything in such a short amount of time was too much for me to handle. Its also better since we’re paying for everything ourselves, we have more time to save money or spread out the payments on things. Plus, we’re getting married outside in Texas… I think most people should appreciate the fact that we chose a cooler month as opposed to the summer where the high is 105 before the heat index!
All in all, just remember that its your day and you should have it the way (and when) you want it. Whether you get married in May or October, you’re still going to end up married to the man you love. Just remind your family that the October date is what is best for you and that while you hope for everyone to be healthy and able to attend, an earlier wedding just isnt possible.
Post # 10
we also are having a long engagement. Got engaged in December ’08 getting married next June. My family actually supports the long engagement, as it will give time for my FI (who just graduated with his Bachelors) to settle into a full-time job and get a bigger apartment for when I move in with him. The most flak I got was from people at much church who are used to engagements that last 6 months or less. Even our Pastor questioned us on it. :/ We just tell them it is our decision and it’s right for US.
Post # 11
LOL…..that’s nothing…I’ve been waiting since 2002 to set a date for our wedding. A year goes by so fast plus it will give you more time to plan ect.
Post # 12
You can’t win either way. Like bvig, I have a short engagement (5 months) and people always ask us if there is a reason we’re rushing. We’re 28, and just wanted to get it over with. I couldn’t imagine stretching this stressful planning out over a couple years!! I want it off my mind as soon as possible XD
I wouldn’t worry about people. Its your choice, and if you and FI are happy with it, thats all that matters!
Post # 13
I’ve also chosen October 2010 (10*10*10). We wanted our wedding that far out to give us plenty of time to plan – I know that it can be done in a much shorter time frame, but it is hard work and let’s face it – we have lives beyond wedding planning. Stick to your date, stand up to the nay-sayers, and be glad you have plenty of time to get exactly what you want.
Post # 14
Ditto, ditto, ditto what Mrs. DG said – excellent advice!
I’ve been floored with how much well intended advice I’ve received post-engagement. But, it’s enough to make your head spin and question the decisions you’ve made.
At the end of the day, you have to do what’s right and best for you. Enjoy this season of your life, as you anticipate the future!!
Post # 15
It sounds to me like you are doing the right thing. We got engaged in Nov 08 and are getting married in Oct 09 – almost exactly 11 months. Because we had been together so long (8 years) we wanted to tie the knot in 09, and decided summer would be too soon. I honestly wish we’d had a longer engagement (not to get married later than Oct 09…ehem, rather that FI had proposed a little sooner…) There ends up being so much to do, and with shorter engagements, it just makes it more stressful.
Post # 16
Wow! Great thoughts and advice. Thank you bees!