- 4 years ago
- Wedding: November 2013
Bees, I’m sure some of you can relate with me right now, I am fed up to my eyeballs with people telling me I don’t have much time left to have babies. Or how they can’t believe I don’t want a child right now. (For the record, I’m 25. I’m still trying to finish my Bachelors FFS!)
A friend of ours just had a baby girl, and she’s super cute, as most babies are. But I don’t feel the warm fuzzies that come with holding a baby and I really, really have no desire to have one of my own. I think it will be super fun to watch our friends’ kid grow up and to teach her stuff and all of that…FI and I just don’t want one RIGHT NOW.
First instance: FI and I went to visit our friends in the hospital and meet the new baby. We posted pics on FB of each of us holding the baby and FMIL comments, “That baby looks good on you!!!!!” I just responded and said, “Yep, and he has a long, long time to practice on her too!” (She has been bugging us to give her a grandbaby for forever. It’s so annoying FFS, we’re not even married yet.. What makes it worse is that FSIL wants kids realllllly bad and she has been married for several years AND lives out where FMIL lives in CA. She can do that. Not us).
Second: So this past weekend, we went to a BBQ and our friends were there with the baby. We all took turns holding her and the topic of having kids of course came up. One of our friends that was there wants a baby SO SO SO bad and she kept saying, “Come on, touch her! Isn’t she soft? Don’t you want one? Don’t you want to hold something so soft of your own? Don’t you want something this beautiful? Omg this makes me so sure I want one even more! She’s so beautiful!”
No. No, I don’t. I really, really don’t. Not right now. Maybe not ever. Let me finish school and let FI and I get debt free and buy a house and THEN we can talk about talking about that subject. But no, really. Our friend was so confused as to how I couldn’t want a little bundle of joy myself. Sorry, I just don’t. I have no feeling nor compulsion to.
Fast forward to today, my office throws a baby shower for someone who is about to pop in the office and all the ladies in there look at me as we’re cleaning up and say, “You’re next! You’re getting married in November, right? We want to see you pregnant by January, we’re just waiting!” SAY WHAT? I was like no, no I’m good you have until you’re 40. “40? That’s SO OLD! Why would anyone want to have kids after 30? You’ll be too old for your kid when it grows up! You only have five years! You better get started!” Even one of the men, who has a daughter, was like, “You don’t want kids? Whaaat?”
Guys, why can’t people just leave me and my uterus alone?! FI and I are not in a financial nor mental place in our lives to have a baby. We are not even married yet and there are a lot of goals we want to fulfill together (including enjoying each other much more and longer) before any of that talk even comes up. And I have no desire whatsoever to have a baby and babies do not make me feel anything. I’m not cold hearted, mind you, I like kids okay. Watching my friends’ kids grow up is really cool and I happen to think the kids themselves are pretty cool. It’s just not for me.
All of this has been within the last MONTH. Has this ever happened to any of you???