(Closed) Why bother to RSVP?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

not yet, but considering that I have to have our final guest count 3 weeks out and cannot change it after that, I’d be TO’d and want to send them each a bill for the money i’ll have to shell out even though they are going to be no shows!! How inconsiderate!!

Post # 4
Member
1037 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010 - Carlouel Yacht Club

Oh wow that is awful!  And strange…I’m so sorry!

Post # 5
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018 - Holy Family Catholic Church, reception: National Infantry Museum

The same thing happened to us… although most people didn’t have the courtesy to un-RSVP, they just didn’t show up.  People are so rude. 

Post # 6
Member
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Thank goodness I didn’t have this problem…maybe because I had a small wedding, who knows? I was terrified that something like this would happen, and I’m sorry it’s happening to you. It does seem extremely rude.

Post # 7
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

same thing happened to us! a couple’s babysitter fell through, someone’s having surgery, someone else doesn’t have a ride (coming from out of state). we just gave our caterer the final count last week and this week all these people who said yes are now no’s–we could’ve saved some money!

Post # 8
Member
5154 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

That sounds weird. I can’t believe people un-rsvp or don’t just show up! I’m scared of this now! 

Post # 9
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think we only had 4 no-shows, and two of them were a couple we were all surprised that they said they’d be there.  I had several people tell me to tell the caterer we’d have fewer people  than we were expecting but I didn’t listen.  (The other two called to tell me they were really sick, and they called pre-ceremony so I knew as soon as they did.)

Post # 10
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I haven’t had this problem yet but we just mailed out our invites on Tuesday. So we’ll see.

Post # 11
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

about 18months ago my friend (the bride) and i was walking to the car to go to the church and her phone was ringing with people saying they werent coming to the reception – no real excuse just “we cant make it”. 

considering my husband and her other bridesmaids husband wasnt invited (my hubyb didnt care but the other bridesmaid was very peeved off by the lack of invite) so she could fit more people into her invite list i thought how rude to accept and then not show (unless there was a real reason, ie sickness, accident ect)

 

Post # 12
Member
369 posts
Helper bee

I guess the people who end up inviting their second-cousin’s sister’s fiance’s friend will fill the seats for the no-shows. I know–weird, but sometimes, it happens.

Post # 13
Member
596 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009 - Ceremony: The Kraine Theatre, Reception: Midtown Loft & Terrace

How annoying

Post # 14
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I don’t understand it.  We have a large number of out-of-town invites I have a bad feeling this is going to happen to us too.

Post # 15
Member
950 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m so sorry this is happening to you.  Is there a possiblity to snag some in-town friends who were sadly left off the guest list to fill the empty spots?  I know that no one likes to be on the “B-list”/feel like “seconds” (I know I’d feel a twinge of resentment for thirty seconds), but everyone loves a party & if you explain that you initially REALLY wanted to invite them but felt pressured to invite your second cousin & her husband (you can make this part up, the new invites will never know) who have now “rudely fallen through”, you LOVE for them to attend, then maybe they’ll help solve your empty space problem & you’ll have more friends at the party.

I hope your wedding day goes much better…Good Luck!

Post # 16
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

We had a couple of last minute cancellations, and then one couple who didn’t bother to call at all!

Luckily we had wedding crashers who made up for it, so we were only down a net of 1.

It doesn’t matter in the end, but man can it make you crazy in the run-up.

I feel for you!

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