"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free."

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
339 posts
Helper bee

It is quite a dated expression. Doesn’t annoy me in the slightest. 

Post # 4
Member
7265 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

It would annoy me if I was giving the milk away for free and he wasn’t buying the cow.

Post # 5
Member
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

It is dated alright.

It annoys me if say it was coming from my mom or her friends or anyone aged in that generation and it was her way of saying that I’m a skank! lol

Post # 6
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

the first thought that comes to mind when I hear that phrase is “Why buy the pig when you can get the sausage for free”. Tongue Out

Post # 7
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Actually, you can’t get the sausage unless you slaughter the pig. Surprised

Anytime anyone spouts nonsense about cows and milk, I immediately dismiss them as a ridiculous person whose opinions are not worth listening to in the slightest.

Post # 8
Member
3341 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

It’s an old saying and I think a lot of people (including myself) find it offensive. It kind of implies that the only reason a guy is marrying you is for the sexual part. But eh, I would just ignore or make a comeback like the sausage line if someone said it to me!

 

Post # 9
Member
3389 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Cory_loves_this_girl:  haha! +1  If he doesn’t want to buy the cow..at least make him pay for the milk! 

Post # 10
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I say “You’re right! Better tell him how stupid he is then.”

Err? They know that girls want some milk from the boys too right? Its not one sided like it used to be!

 

Post # 11
Member
263 posts
Helper bee

It’s ridiculously offensive and outdated. I wouldn’t hesitate in telling someone where to get off if they said it to me.

Post # 12
Member
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I always thought it was related to sleeping before marriage.

Post # 13
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@FutureMrsHallam:  But it is still one sided in this sense: it is more common for a girl to be waiting for a proposal from a guy who’s not interested in marriage, than vice versa.

Post # 14
Member
917 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I usually shrug it off. Although one friend jokingly said it to me, and I’ve never quite forgotten that in the ensuing three years she met, moved to a new continent with, and THEN got engaged/married to. Love her, but occasionally think about how she definitely didn’t heed her own (unsolicited) advice. Happily, her husband is the best and they’re thrilled to travel to the US for our wedding.

Post # 15
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee

It’s a harmless, dated, silly expression that is based on something that I would just call common sense. It’s an analogy, that’s all. It could be applied to business situations or anything. 

 

If I had a bakery and I stood outside on the sidewalk everyday offering truck loads of free cupcakes, it wouldn’t make a whole lot of sense for me to complain that not many people were coming in to actually buy my cupcakes. Common sense.

 

 Likewise,  if a guy is dragging his feet on getting married, it generally isn’t a good idea to move in with him lock, stock and barrel, act like his wife, do all kinds of “wifey” things for him and screw him like a rabbit every night. That’s what the statement means to me, and frankly I agree with it.

 

Steve Harvey (the guy who wrote “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man”) compares it to giving away “the cookie.” Men understand this dynamic very well. Women tend to get insulted and zero in on being compared to cows, which is so much easier than dealing with the real issue, which is walking the talk. If you say you want to get married, well, then living with a guy and washing his underwear and doing the “shut up pact” for 10 years might not be the best way of going about it. 

 

Now if you’re with a guy who is on the same page with you, who can’t wait to get married, that’s entirely different! 

 

When I was dating DH, I never worried about statements like this because I maintained boundaries. I made it known that I wasn’t interested in a long, drawn-out relationship with question marks at the end. If we hadn’t been on the same page — moving towards engagement and marriage  in the near, foreseeable future — I wouldn’t have stayed in the relationship. 

Post # 16
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Why buy the whole pig for one little sausage?

ETA: someone beat me to it, lol.

To me, it is a bit offensive. It’s implying that the woman is giving something up. To me, sex is a mutual transaction, not something I’m giving for free

 

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