Why can my parents marry after 6 months but I have to wait

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1140 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

im sorry your parents are giving you trouble about it. I guess they are just wanting you to make sure that you are not making a mistake perhaphs? Personally, when you know-you know! I knew my FH for about a month when i knew i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, and we bought a house 5 months in!

Post # 4
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t really think that’s too young! I’ve know many people in that age bracket getting married. I’m 30 and I feel OLD to be just getting married! lol! Have an honest talk with your folks and ask what their specific concerns are. They could just be fearful of the high divorce rate nowadays or the unstable economy, maybe thery’re worried they’ll have to pay for a considerable chunck of the wedding expences, as per the tradition, and son’t have the money, but don’t know how to break it to you? The reasons could be endless and have a lot less to do with you and your FI’s age than they’re making it out to be….

Post # 5
Member
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@anemone681:  To be fair, their intentions are good. They just think “I could never marry someone after that short of a time” or “Maybe I should have waited longer (even if it ended up well.)”

Thing is, they’re not inside your relationship, they don’t know what you know. They don’t mean to be mean (usually) but end up hurting you by accident. I’m sure they’ll come around in a couple of years and forget they ever gave you trouble. Just SNIP – Smile, Nod, Ignore, Proceed as you wish.

Post # 7
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@anemone681:  They are probably saying things out of concern. That is a very short period of time to be with someone before you decide to get married. That doesn’t mean that the marriage won’t last, but you should understand where they are coming from.

Post # 10
Member
562 posts
Busy bee

OP, when you know, you know. Your parents are just looking out for their baby girl. I am 23 (barely) and will be getting married in less than a year, and I get the “you’re too young” stuff too, and man it gets old! Just tell them that you appreciate their opinion, but you know whats best for you, and you just want their support and encouragement. best of luck!

Post # 11
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@anemone681: If you want this, you don’t need your parents’ permission. I understand that you are upset that they aren’t supporting you, but if they don’t agree with your decision they are free to let you know that. Doesn’t mean you need to let them affect your choices.

Post # 12
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Your not too young, I honestly thought you were going to say you were 17 haha that would be young to me lol I’m 23 and have been happily married for 2 years but in saying that I think your rushing. You are young and you should date for a while to make sure he is the one. If you date for a few years and turn around and say you know what, I still love him as much as I did after 6 months of dating then yay! If you turn around and say well crap, this isn’t what I expected then you can leave. I was married at 21 but we both owned a house and had full time well paying careers. In the end you will do what you want but marriage shouldn’t be rushed and the mature thing to do would be to wait a bit first before making a massive commitment

Post # 13
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

No offense but it’s possible one or both your parents have reservations about your FI and don’t want to tell you. Maybe there’s nothing they can be outwardly against (e.g. he hurts you) but they don’t think he’s right for you. Sometimes our parents have bigger dreams for us than they had for themselves…I don’t think 23 is that young, so I’m wondering if they have other unexpressed issues.

Post # 14
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

It’s generally a good idea to take in consideration the feelings of your parents. I’m not saying they are right, but something about the situation is off to them – whether it’s simply doubt over the length of time you have dated or something more serious. I think this is something that deserves some objective thinking over.

Post # 16
Member
3112 posts
Sugar bee

@anemone681:  You are 23 and 25, aren’t getting engaged for another 6 months, and then plan on a 2 year engagment?  I truly can’t believe that someone would give you a hard time about being too young!  That’s insane.  We married at 22 and not a single person ever brought up our age.

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