(Closed) Why can't I control my emotions???!

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

The way you’re having sudden mood swings with out outside stimulus sounds to me like a chemical problem, it doesn’t have to be hormonal. I would talk to your doctor about it and see what they would want you to do. I would also talk to your DH about what’s going on with you. I’m honest with FI when I’m having PMS mood swings and it helps him roll with it a lot better because he knows what’s going on in my head.

Post # 5
Member
542 posts
Busy bee

Have you considered trying a med like welbutrin?  Medication, of course, is not the answer to everything, but it certainly is helpful in many cases. I get mine just from my regular primary care physician. 

Post # 6
Member
3553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@secretbee90:  That sounds like depression to me. You don’t have to be sad all of the time to be depressed. You also don”t need to go directly to a psychologist you can start with your general practitioner if that’s easier for you.

Post # 7
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

You could have adapted your behavior because of your previous relationships. If all of your other relationships were as you say, and you behaved this way to “make it” in those relationships, you just have to work to not do that anymore. I know that might sound silly. My husband and I had some major issues, and he’s done a lot of work on himself (me too), but it’s hard for me to not react to him like it’s the old us still. It takes time, work and understanding. We’re both seeing therapists though to help guide us through these changes. It’s been super helpful.

Post # 8
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@secretbee90:  yeah, sounds like depression. that is exactly how I am off my meds. But in addition to meds (if you want to take them) you also have to make the effort to force yourself to do things some days. It can be a self-fulfilling prophecy: being depressed makes you want to stay in bed and not do anything, but not doing anything can also make you feel depressed.

Dont beat yourself up about getting grouchy though. It sounds like you may have internalized the pressure on women to be nothing but sunshine and happiness to everyone around them. It is ok to have off days: it doesn’t make you a bad person!

Post # 9
Member
4897 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would reccomend seeing a doctor or psychologist about it. Please get other things ruled out before going on anti depressants. I lived with thyroid disease for years that was chalked up to depression. Also, look into other things you can do for depression/mood disorders outside of just the meds. Don’t feel bad about it. Our brains control us, not the other way around. 

Post # 10
Member
12250 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

That sounds EXACTLY like me during a dpressive episode! If you can’t call a therapist, have DH do it for you. Have him drive you there, whatever you need to do to get help and get better!

Post # 11
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Go to personal counseling/therapy.

Post # 12
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Do you have any family members with mental health issues? Certain things, like bipolar disorder, have a genetic component. If, say, your mother was bipolar, it might give you a clue as to what is going on with you (not necessarily bipolar, perhaps just a chemical imbalance.)

For example, my grandmother has struggled with depression, and I have that, but mine has a much greater anxiety component, whereas hers is generally straight depression. I know with a pretty great certainty it’s genetic because my sister has it, too, despite us having completely different childhood experiences.

Post # 14
Member
3553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@secretbee90:  I am sorry you have been through so much. I too suffered depression starting around the age of 14. It was like something in me just broke and I couldn’t be happy any more. I too contemplated suicide. My parents got me into therapy and I was fortuante enough to grow out of whatever chemical imbalance I had at about 16. I think for some people though they just don’t grow out of it. I hope you get the help you need and you can come back someday and update us on how your life is better.

Post # 15
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@secretbee90:  this sounds like it could have been written by me, years ago. So I know what you’re feeling!

are you on the BC pill? Those fake hormones can really mess you up. as soon as I stopped it got better, for a while. fast forward a few years, and I’m in a new relationship with a guy that actually enjoyed teasing me to the point of being upset. Our sex life was hot and cold. I was generally unsatisfied and would snap in an instant. It sounds like you love your guy and he treats you well, but counselling helped me identify how I was unhappy with things, and helped me to vocalize it. 

If you don’t want to do counselling, or can’t afford it, two great books to read are Non Violent Communication and The Power of Now. 

Lastly you might want to look into Pitta pacifying teas and foods. It’s a therapeutic approach from India- you might have too much ‘fire’ inside! 🙂

Post # 16
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@secretbee90:  whoa, I just read your update. My previous response was just to your initial post. My Father was intense too! He never called me a whore, but pushed me hard academically- even though he himself dropped out of Uni! (Maybe because of it)

Yeah, I think some therapy and meditation will be good for you. It was/is for me! I have a strong spiritual side too, so I consult my tarot or animal spirit or Goddess cards when I need insight. I journal as well.  

I still highly recommend those books but I also think you need to just start catching yourself quicker. I know exactly what you mean when you say it’s like you see yourself changing but can’t stop it. With practice and some attention, you WILL be able to stop yourself.  

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