Post # 1
I am so beyond frustrated with my mother right now. We went to pick up the bridesmaids dresses and go shoe shopping yesterday. At Alfred Angelo she couldn’t sit and wait for the girls to come out in their dresses she had to go over to gertrude hawk. While at the travel agency to pay for the rest our honeymoon she struck a completely random and annoying conversation with the agent when we were ready to leave. While in the mall shoe shopping my Maid/Matron of Honor went in to deb’s and was buying a few things and I preceeded to wait outside for her cause it was wicked hot in that store. She couldn’t sit and wait five minutes had to ants around and want to go in the shoe store with my other bridesmaid before me, to go look even though I had to get shoes too.
Also on the way to the mall. My maid of honor got pregnant at 15 but has done well for herself. She works two jobs, graduated high school and got her CNA. She provides for her and her daughter. My mom preceeds to talk bad about people getting pregnant at fifteen and how they’re all on welfare and such. Along with a few other degragtory things.
When we went dress shopping for me, all she said the entire time was yeah thats nice, yep that looks good. She doesn’t like to do girly things but for once in my life I would like for her to enjoy these things and act like a normal mom or atleast a girl.
I know I can’t change her but UGH! Can anybody else relate to me or have any advice. Sorry for the rant! I love my mom but we didn’t get along growing up and now that I moved out we do ok. But right now I would just like her to be more excited about doing wedding things with her only daughter,
Post # 3
@futuremrsgeis: oh my god i feel your pain…
my mother basically would rather walk over hot coals than get excited about my wedding. She loves my future hubby and is happy im getting married to him and that really it.
But shes great at telling me what i shouldnt have at my wedding. Firstly my mum is not a girly girl, not traditional and hates any soppy thing. i am fine witht his and accept she is not that way inclined but i would love her to get excited about something to do with the wedding.
Post # 4
I ask myself this everyday of my life and not just in relation to my wedding. My mother isn’t helping with plans at all. I don’t think she even cares. She’s too worried about where she’s going to score some more pain meds than to think about what I’m doing.
Post # 5
Hey, let’s start a club. My mother barely even speaks to me, and it’s only when she needs something. I’m not even sure she knows that I’m engaged, and if she does, she does not care.
Post # 6
My mom is very self centered. I wish she were normal all of time! I’ve just stopped expecting her to be anything other than who she is so I can stop being disappointed.
Post # 7
@MrsElopement: I’ve just stopped expecting her to be anything other than who she is so I can stop being disappointed.
That’s where I am now. Makes life a whole lot easier.
Post # 8
I hate to say it, but I would probably be just like your Mom. I have never been much for “girlie” stuff myself and I even hate planning my own wedding. I would have been bored sh*tless if I had to go dress shopping and the like with my own daughter – oh I would have been overjoyed she was getting married but getting all excited aout dresses and the like – meh!
Post # 9
Sighh.. sounds similar to my mum. In many ways, I wished she could do what a mum is ‘supposed to’ do for her daughter, for eg. have a chat with my in laws during dinner and not call up my cousin and compare my upcoming wedding with his (wasn’t nice hearing about this from my cousins). In truth, I feel really awful after my conversations with her. Thus, I’m not expecting her to help me in anyway towards the wedding neither could I entrust her with any wedding related task. She was stressing me on finding HER dress but thank goodness, an aunt offered to accompany to look for HER dress.
You may wanna reconsider how involved you would like your mum to be in your wedding preparation without damaging your relationship with your bridesmaids or giving you an emotional melt down.
Post # 10
I’m really new on here, but my mom drank a lot when I was growing up so she wasn’t exactly the super star mom.
She’d say she’d do things, but she never would. Especially with money her and my dad constantly fought over whether or not she would help pay for things, because she’d say she would, but then she wouldn’t.
Sometimes growing up with her was very difficult. She can be a good person, but then there are times when I can’t stand her.
She has a lot of anger issues that I guess she’s worked on, but I would still never live with her again. It may be mean, but when she gets old I’d rather put her in a community than have her live with us.
Honestly it’s better if you just stop expecting things from people and then you won’t be disappointed.
Post # 11
That’s so frustrating. Is there any way you can have a heart to heart without her making you feel guilty? Weddings can be stressful but if these kind of things happen outside the wedding planning part (which I suspect they might) it may not help. Some distance and letting you and your bridesmaids run the show when it comes down to picking stuff out, shoes etc might help you feel less frustrated. Include her when you can maybe when it’s just you and her projects, like doing invitations or programs perhaps, basically times when you know she won’t add to your stress level.
My mom can be like that too. We’ll have a conversation and she’ll steer it towards herself or be negative and bring the whole conversation down. Or she will just be seeking attention and interrupt and make things about herself. Fiance and I had her and my dad at the reception venue to see it and get some information but besides that we’ve decided she isn’t going to be introduced to any of our other vendors for fear of her changing something on us or just being her crazy self. I love her to death but she is the queen of inappropriate comments.
Ex. we went to see the reception venue for the first tiime and within minutes of walking in and seeing the gas fireplace at the entrance, my mom spits out, “Oh we’ll have to shut that off, we don’t want your grandfather to blow up!” (he’s on oxygen, and carries a tank around but is otherwise way healthy) – The venue coordinator and my Fiance looked at me in horror. Yep, that’s my mom. Who says that?!
I had tried “the” dress on but wanted to think it over. The day my parents and I went back to try it on, my mom was already 2 or 3 mother of bride outfits deep before I even had a chance to take my wedding dress sample off. She was asking the sales lady who was helping me out of my dress for help zipping her up instead of waiting patiently for 5 minutes for her to help. This I just laughed at, because it’s very typical.
Post # 12
I talked to my Dad and he said he would talk to her. He also said he has been having some similar issues with her. Like her inability to relax and just enjoy things. I told him I want her to be involved but if she doesn’t want to go to the mall or whatever then just say so. So we will see how it goes.