Why cant my mum be happy for me?

posted 1 year ago in Family
Member
691 posts
Busy bee

@LeFleur:  is your dad in the picture? How is your mom doing financially? It sounds like your mom might be worried about paying for a wedding.

how was your mom’s relationship with your brother after he was married? That could be a possibility to…

my fi’s mother was okay with her sons getting married but as son as my Fi’s sister started getting serious with her SO it was like “omg who is this woman! she has become snarky”

Member
334 posts
Helper bee

Could your mum possibly feel left out at all?

Your Fiances family was there for the engagement and your getting all these tips from the girlfriend. She might feel like she is coming second to his family and isnt as important.

Maybe you should suggest going to a bridal expo with just your mum, she might not be asking as she might feel there is someone else you would rather go with.

Member
691 posts
Busy bee

http://www.bridalguide.com/etiquette/roles-responsibilities/the-seven-deadly-bridal-sins?page=0,5

i saw this an thought of you. It talks about parents in deadly sin number 6… I guess it is hard to understand unless you are a parent.

“I fought with my mother for months over whether the entrée at our rehearsal dinner should be hot or cold,” says Moir-Smith. “I finally realized that we were not fighting over food, but over the thought of ‘losing’ each other when I got married. I was not a baby—but I was her baby, and the last of her children to get married. It was tough for both of us.” The fact is, your wedding marks a big transition for your parents as well as for you, no matter how old you are. A child’s marriage signals a change in parental identity—from parents to potential grandparents. These are heavy thoughts, so it’s no wonder many parents bury their emotions under silly fights, or even by seeming uninterested in the wedding. If this happens, don’t turn away. Even if you can’t get the ‘rents to open up about how they’re really feeling, at least do your best to understand it.

Member
3156 posts
Sugar bee

@miss-stacie-2013:  I agree.  I would imagine your Mom is hurt by not being included in the engagement.

Have you talked to her?  While I know it’s extremely hurtful in the way you’re being treated, she is obviously very hurt, too, for whatever reason.  I wouldn’t plan anything until you fix this relationship.  She’s obviously very important to you and you can’t let a wedding come between that.  You’ve got plenty of time!

Member
5828 posts
Bee Keeper

She might be a bit overwhelmed too.  I mean as mother of the groom she didn’t have much input or involvement.  Now that her daughter is getting married there is so much she could be involved in and maybe she doesn’t quite know where she fits in, not stepping on your toes, or giving too many ideas.

I think you just need to sit down with her and talk to her face to face.

Congrats on the engagement!!!!

Member
1852 posts
Buzzing bee

I agree with what everyone else has said about how maybe she feels left out.  Also regarding this:

What really hurts me is she hasnt suggested going to look at dresses or going to wedding fairs to get ideas



since you are thinking about 2015, it is very early still to be doing any of those things.

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