Post # 1
I’ve voiced on here my opinion about religion. Fiance and I are agnostic at best. We just don’t know if the possibility of god or heaven or any of it is really plausible.
We’ve shared these views with friends during conversations. Some agree with us, some can’t understand how we feel this way. Our more religious friends can’t seem to help themselves but try to shove their churches, religion, power of prayer, etc in our faces. We don’t try to harp on the fact that the likelihood of what they believe in is probably not super likely, but they can’t seem to stop. Some examples:
1. A friend knows we’re not religious and are not having any type of religious aspects in our ceremony. Still, she keeps emailing me, texting me, or telling me about cute ideas she seen. Such as using an old family Bible with our rings tied to it for someone to carry down the aisle. Or, instead of a guest book, have a bible there for friends and family to underline passages in. What??
2. Our dog has hip displaysia and all of our famiy and friends know it’s really hard for me. One day in particular on FB I was just making a comment about how much I love our dog and how it makes me sad to see him in pain. A friend says “you shouldn’t ever under estimate the power of prayer!” I responded, but didn’t acknowledge the prayer part of his comment and again he said “i’m serious, I always turn to god in hard times”. I appreciate the thought, but is god or prayer going to keep my dog from limping? Is it going to replace his hips without surgery or pain?
3. Today the same friend from #2 texts me out of the blue with a link. Nothing to preface this link. So I tapped it and it took me to a live feed of their churches sunday service. I texted him like “what is up with that link?” and he said “it’s a live feed from our church. I just thought maybe you would iike it”
I understand the effort. Really, I do. But we’ve made our views clear. It makes me feel like they think we/I are/am some godless, directionless lepers who need to try to “see the light”. Why can’t they just let us believe what we want to, the way we do for them? I’m not passing along articles, scientific research, or other propoganda about how there likely is no heaven or hell or any afterlife?
Does anyone else get this?
Post # 3
Okay, when I started this post it was in Not Wedding Related. How did it end up in beehive?? Sorry…
Post # 4
I just don’t try to reason with the religious. It’s not a personal thing, and I have plenty of friends who believe in God/Jesus and aren’t shy about sharing it. I’ve never found any point in trying to reason with them (I’m in the “still looking for a faith” category), so my choice is to just smile and thank them for the well wishes. Annoying, but that’s about all you can do.
Post # 5
Being someone who grew up “in the church” and who would now consider myself agnostic, it’s a little easier for me to swallow because I understand where they are coming from.
Many people who are very religious view you and I as lost and assume that it’s their duty to “save” us. I’m not justifying it as I feel the same way as you do, but I follow the same behavior as KatyElle.
It’s so irritating, but stay firm in what you believe and blow it off.
Post # 6
And I do understand that POV, no matter how annoying it is. It’s just…I guess I can’t seem to understand where they “get off” so to speak, becasue I don’t try to force anything on them. I’m not super confrontation, so rarely do I say anything back. But I do wish they’d stop.
Post # 7
Some people just have to try and convert others to their beliefs. One of my coworkers is my mom’s age and she will use her mom voice and try to badger others into agreeing with her. I have another friend who I usually steer clear of in election years. If she finds someone who doesn’t agree with her politics, she just cannot let it go.
Not sure what you can do about it but asking people to respect your beliefs. If they do not, start distancing yourself.
Post # 8
Ugh, how exhausting! Like pp have said, it sounds like your friends are true believers and with that belief comes a urge to get everyone to believe what they believe. I know its annoying – believe me, but I really think the best you can do is ignore them. If you do get a chance to talk candidly with your friends that are doing this, I would suggest being completely honest with them and tell them it bothers you that they keep badgering you with religious stuff. Say it affecting the friendship and while you know they are doing it because they love you, you want them to stop. If they don’t, distance yourself from them. They need to respect your wishes.
Post # 9
I had never really experienced what you are talking about until recently. I am basically agnostic although I grew up in a very strict religious household. I went to catholic school for 13 years and attended church ever sunday until I went off to college. My mom cant grasp the fact that I have stopped going to church and that I don’t want to get married in a church. She keeps posting bible verses on my facebook and emailing me different relgious pinterest pins. I haven’t said anything yet but it is really making me upset and is making me bitter about even talking to her about wedding plans. Like PPs have said, I think people feel as though they can “save” or “convert” people. I wish people would just take a step back and realize how pushy they are being. If anything I feel it pushes me farther away from ever stepping foot in another church!
Post # 10
My Fiance and I are both religious, but I wasn’t always. My personal response towards you would be a “the door is open” As in, I can give you support on your decisions, but would say that if you are ever curious about my religion (I’m Lutheran), that I am available to talk. Your friend who sent you the live feed of Sunday Services was too pushy.
Post # 11
Just ignore them 🙂 Or if some particular person is persistent and doesn’t get the hint, just have an adult conversation.
Its hard to be left alone in such a connected world! if you are outspoken in social media and project that you have a problem or are suffering , don’t be shocked if someone shares with you stuff like “prayer” or whatever other things people say that irritate youi- it is their natural reaction.
The bigger the deal you make it to your self the more power you give. it.
Post # 12
I don’t know if I would be friends for very long with people who have trouble believing that I can make my own decisions.
I have many friends who are religious – of all religions, not just Christianity. I have attended many religious celebrations with them, and often celebrate religious milestones (e.g. the baptism of their children) out of love for them. But I remain an atheist, and all of my friends know that. Not one of them has ever tried to convert me – they have tried to include me, yes (celebrations, etc), but never to convert me. If they had, I would be very weary of the friendship.
Post # 13
I was raised with church and prayer as an important part of our routine. Watching my dad pray had a big impact on me spiritually and I appreciate the influence. Equally as strong is the memory of questioning something we were told in Sunday School and the aggresive, punitive reaction of a family friend. I’m still working out my own beliefs and I get frustrated with the message that if you believe yourself a Christian, you’ve got to convert everyone else. There are so many levels to what’s been driving that message all these years. In this huge universe, how any one person can be convinced they’ve got it all figured out is beyond me.
Post # 14
I was ‘raised’ as a christian and went to church every Sunday with my parents and siblings.
I’d say when I was about 12ish, I started questioning religion. By the time I was probably 17, I didn’t believe at all anymore, but throughout my high school career, I said I was agnostic to anyone who asked. The only person who really knew was my boyfriend (now FI) and he felt the same way, although he wasn’t really raised with any religion. It was nice having someone to discuss things with.
Even though I grew up as a christian, I still don’t get where people are coming from when they make comments like that. I tend to bite my tongue on the subject, but there are days when I just want to ask why they won’t just let me be an atheist and not pester me about it. I don’t though, I just try to ignore them.
But I can definitely agree that it’s annoying.
Post # 15
Thanks for the perspective ladies!! I talked with Fiance about this last night because he is just so totally annoyed with this, he’s ready to get rude. I asked him to please not be rude about it (he claims that since the link-texting friend is his fraternity brother and former rommate of 4 years and one of his best friends, they have given eachother “plenty of shit” so it wouldn’t be percieved as mean) and he agreed to not say anything currently. This particular friend and his wife are very religious (duh) and gain a lot from their faith. I don’t want to downplay what they believe, but I do want to make it clear that they should respect our beliefs (or lack thereof). I don’t need to be saved. I don’t need to hear the word, or see the light, or whatever else. I can totally respect that they think a man in the sky is determining different moves in their lives and at any given point can determine whether or not they get a loan, conceive a child, or heal a sick family member. But I don’t believe any of that. So please don’t try to make me.
Post # 16
I would tell them. Next time she send you soemthing in that nature, just tell her. “I’m not interested. Please stop sending me these kinds of links/pictures/inpirational messages.”
A curt no thank you can go far. I’ve been on the other side before and see where its coming from, but they should stop – if you want them to.