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I'm planning to do the same thing as you. Legally I will be MyFirst MyMiddle MyLast HisLast, socially I will be MyFirst HisLast, and professionally I will go by MyFirst MyLast HisLast (I'm an attorney... my degrees are in my name and all my classmates know me by that name).
So instead of calling you "Dr. Jane Smith Jones" they're just calling you "Dr. Jane Jones"? Is your new last name hyphenated at all? Geez that sucks that people are having such a hard time using your new full name.
With everything though, things take time to get used to especially name changes! Just keep correcting them until they get it right. My last name is always spelled incorrectly & everyone pronounces it wrong... I've had to deal with this my whole life!
I am a big fan of professionals using their maiden names professionally... So I like your last option the best.
Argh, that's really hard. My parents gifted me with five names, all difficult. My first name sounds like a common name pronounced with a lisp (oh yeah, I kid you not!) and my last name has a very unusual spelling. I made my email address my first and last name so people would be forced to see it, spell it, but I still get emails to "Dear MispelledFirstName"... there's no winning on this issue. Just keep correcting them.
I read all the etiquette guides and sites...and they drive me insane. I don't care what USED to be proper etiquette. It should be well established that now, the proper thing to do is ask the bride and groom if they are changing their names....and then USE THE NAMES THEY PREFER! To just make an assumption...or not listen when you've been told...is just being rude!
I feel your pain on this one. My maiden name is legally still my name... just my middle name. And people keep dropping it. I would have considered hyphenating so they're both my last name, but it was just too long.
@ corgitales--I'm an attorney too and was thinking about doing the same thing. Do you think after a while it could get confusing? Like people calling you the wrong thing in different scenarios?
I simply didn't change anything, and let the older generations of our family and friends call me MyFirst HisLast. I have come to the conclusion that we all need to stop worrying about changing our names... especially if you're a Dr!!
But its always a personal decision. Not going by his last name doesn't make you any less of a family. That was the biggest arguement I got against not changing my name. But for me, it just wasn't worth the psychological torture to change my entire identity. If you want to be called by your name, I think you should just keep your name.
This might be moot at this point, if you're already legally changed, though. If that is the case, I would just politely remind people (at work?) to call you Dr YourLast.
Good luck to you!
I just started a thread on this over the weekend too because I struggle with this internally. I'll be 38 when I'm married and personally, not sure I want to change my name. And with you being a doctor...and how hard you worked to get established with your maiden name. I'd keep it to my maiden name. But that's my opinion.
I'm surprised that people are having problems. In my group so many of the women have either kept their maiden name professionally (and/or otherwise)-- ike me, or added a name. The patients and other professionals just seem to call them whatever we've asked them to call us.
Be firm and don't give up!
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I am having trouble with the name change. I am in the process of changing to Myfirst Mymiddle MyLast Hislast. I really want to go by Myfirst Mymaiden HisLast, but people keep dropping MyMaiden! I cringe when I hear MyFirst HisLast.It makes me mad that people won't call me by my name, and I should be the one to define my name!
Also, I am trying to figure things out professionally. I am a physician, and was going to be Dr. MyFirst MyMaiden HisLast, going by Dr. HisLast, but now am thinking of having my name on all documentation being MyFirst MyMaiden HisLast, but still going as Dr. MyMaiden and sort of dropping HisLast. Thoughts?