- 8 years ago
- Wedding: June 2011
Do you ever get the feeling that there is a huge storm coming that you need to start preparing for? That’s where I’m at right now.
Background: FI’s parents are divorced. Future Father-In-Law left Future Mother-In-Law for another woman, who is now FStepMIL. FStepMIL has been around since Fiance was 7 and has 2 children (ages 16 and 13) who are going to be in the wedding.
So, a few months ago, two of FI’s aunts (FFIL’s sister and sister-in-law) offered to throw my bridal shower for ALL family. This would be for my family, his dad’s family, and his mom’s family. Basically everyone but my friends. While it did seem slightly odd for someone’s aunts to offer this, particularly the grooms, I figured that it would make my MOH’s life easier, and she could just throw a friends only shower. That was the end of it.
Apparently Fiance forgot to mention this to his mother. So today I’m talking to her, and I said something about how Aunt 1 and Aunt 2 were throwing the shower, and she was visibly upset. I did my best to put the positive spin on things, but she was still hurt (not upset with me, but with them). Fiance was also there, and he clearly was stressed about the conversation.
Future Mother-In-Law felt like FFIL’s family didn’t do as much to raise Fiance, and that they shouldn’t get to swoop in and take away the party planning and not include her when she wants to be included. She also feels like because his siblings are in the wedding that it will make his dad think he has more pull.
Fiance feels like he’s torn between two families, and I feel like if someone is willing to pay to throw a party then you might as well let them! It’s just a shower, after all, it’s not the wedding itself!
I know that FI’s father really hurt FI’s mother in the past, but why can’t they all just attempt to get over it for a little while and quit acting like it’s a competition to see who can do the most for the wedding? It’s mine and FI’s wedding, not a competition! There will be no prize for best parent at the end!
Has anybody else had this problem? Any advice on how to tactfully handle the situation and/or not go insane?