Post # 1
Weddings seem to bring on all sorts of emotions. My mom told me yesterday during my bridal shower that my cousin had just called saying that she wasn’t coming because she felt ill. Well, the real story came out later that day. Apparently she didn’t want to come because she was jealous.
Now I can understand this, because I can recall waiting for my proposal from my boyfriend – and dreading going to his sister’s shower, knowing full well that I would be pestered with the question ‘So when are you getting married?’ So yeah, I get it. But the strange this is that my cousin is the type of person who quits things – jobs, college majors, men, hobbies. It’s not like things just ‘happen’ for me. I worked really hard to finish school, work up in my job and be in relationship for 11 years. She’s a couple years older than me and I hate that my happiness brings her sadness. But if she can’t even handle the shower, how is she going to cope with the wedding?
Also, my great uncle is going through some difficult times with his fiancee. This is his first girlfriend after the death of his wife and he’s struggling with the idea of getting married again, so he’s really torn about going to ours.
What am I to do with these people? Why can’t people be happy for us in light of their own situation?
Post # 3
There is nothing you can do. It is a shame that people can’t just be happy for you, but you can’t MAKE them do it. Just ignore her and enjoy your time with the people who are happy for you.
Post # 4
I don’t think there is much you can do. You can talk to them about how it hurts your feeling that they aren’t able to share your happiness with them, but it probably won’t turn out well because they will be defensive about their own unhappiness/problems with their relationship. Some people are just not able to deal with things and show happiness.
I know I wear my feelings on my sleeve so it’s kind of hard to keep disappointment inside.
Give them the benefit of the doubt. They are going through their own problems. Deep down, they probably are happy for you, they just have a hard time showing it over all their major problems that are agging on them.
Keep trying. Keep smiling. And brush it off your shoulder.
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School
That is definitely disappointing and hard to take that family members are letting their own emotions get in the way of such a happy time. Honestly, there is nothing you can really do to help them. They each have their own issues to work through, clearly. All you can do is try to be as understanding and compassionate as possible and focus on the family members who ARE excited and happy for you. Hopefully cousin and great uncle will come to their senses in time for your wedding!
Post # 6
It is unfortunate but you can’t help the way others feel!
Don’t let this bring you down – remember what is most important – you are marrying the man of your dreams and that is all that matters so try and let the small stuff roll off your back!
Post # 7
This really sucks, but try not to let people rain on your parade. This is about your happiness, not theirs. It’s nice to have full support, but you can’t let the others get you down!
Post # 8
I hate this people need to get over themselves seriously. I have had this happen within the wedding party and there was no reason at all sometimes people are just jealious wethere they got someone to love and are going to marry them or not. It stinks.
Post # 9
I know I can’t control how others feel – and I’m not interesting in doing so.
It’s more the fact I’m in love and I want to scream it from the rooftops, but I can’t help but feel like I have to censor my joy around people like this. I am sympathetic to the feelings of others, so I really don’t want to ‘over-gloat’. But seriously when it comes to weddings, I shouldn’t have to downplay how I feel. It’s a celebration of that feeling. I guess that’s why it’s so difficult for these people.
Post # 10
You don’t have to censor your own happiness just because certain people in your life aren’t in a place emotionally right now where they can fully be there for you. That sucks, yes, but worse would be to rob yourself of the joy your feel and want to express on their behalf.
Post # 11
Don’t worry about it. You cannot do anything about how your happiness makes someone else feel. (I am assuming that you are not being a butt about it) I would mention tha you really wish they could be at your wedding and enjoy themselves. Good luck! Don’t let them get you down! Enjoy your joy 😀
Post # 12
This is a happy time in your life and you have every right to celebrate it and shout it from the rooftops, as you say. What you need to do is surround yourself with friends and family who are able to share in this joy with you, who will allow you to be an insanely happy bride and not make you feel like you have to temper your feelings.
I’m sure your cousin and uncle are incredibly happy for you, but their own circumstances are only allowing them to give you so much right now. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you. Try to give them a break and understand that everyone goes through difficult times. It’s unfortunate that everyone isn’t on the same “happy page” at the same time, but so it goes.
Let them cope with their feelings in their own way, and continue to enjoy this special time of your life in your own way.