- 7 years ago
SO….heres the long story (sorry in advanced)
WELL, at the beginning of our relationship FMIL seemed like a really great mother, you know the type.. the bake cakes…send giftbaskets..call everyday type of mother. This was my assumption.. I kind of idolized her (LOL) because my mom was so different. I always longed for a mother like her.. my mom was pretty much the work work work career career career.. type of mom which made her absent in many ways. A part of me always wanted a the type of mom that kids come home to ..and they are just there. I thought this is what FMIL was..until (plays dramatic music)…she found out I had a kid…and all hell broke loose. You know when something in a vaccum is in perfect harmony then an outside force is brought in and just makes the whole system go caotic ? Well, hello, My name is outside force. Nice to meet you. It started with her asking FI to break up with me (which he did…) and then we got back together.. this happened a couple times until I was fed up and I put my foot down and told him this was it. If he ever broke up with me again, we will NOT be getting back together. He listened to my warning and we have been together ever since. He at this point is on the edge with his mom (read: parents) and the mom would call all the time and leave nasty emails…calling me names.. FI names.. and heres the kicker..calling my daughter names.. This was the moment I got pissed. Up until that point.. I supported his mother.. (even though he hated it) and told him that this is to be expected becasue of our culture! At that point I lost it and started plotting her murder (thats a joke btw). Well last year when FI graduated.. they were threatening not to come to the graduation.. and I was very supportive and told him that his family should be there because they lead him down this path.. he told me no.. that he wanted me there.. and so I bought my ticket and I was there as requested by my boyfriend. (He happened to graduate on our anniversary) WELL, the mom ends up seeing me.. and texts FI DURING HIS CEREMONY something along the lines of ‘i told you not to fuck with me..you stupid asshole’.. (not verbatim but very close). FI was obviously upset.. his day was ruined. Well fast forward to a couple months ago.. We both changed our numbers and email addresses so his mom cant harrass us. But FI still calls them and blocks his number. We are doing very well, planning our wedding.. seeing our plans come to fruition. We are getting help from unexpected sources (i.e. my mother 🙂 lol) and life is just pretty damn good at the moment. BUT fi got an email from his little brother a couple days ago telling him that he (FI) needs to come home (the poor kid still lives with his parents and is in the middle of all of this crap because his mother does not protect him from it) because there is basically a ton of crap going on at home and everyone needs to sit down and talk about it. FI gets in touch with his brother and the brother ends up telling him that their father emailed an ex girlfriend and that his mom found out…there is all this tension in the house..and physical abuse..(mom hurting dad).. I really feel like the cops should be called. This 16 year old, who is unstable by definition, has to be choose between his parents and his brother… has to be in between his parents fighting.. and has to be around a very unhappy situation. I also feel really bad for his parents (even his mom) because no one wanted any of this. His dad was wrong, his mom is right (and I say this even after she has insulted me time after time because I feel like right is right and wrong is wrong even if the person is a bitch)..I just want to know why we can’t all just be happy.. Why is it that she made things very hard for us.. and now that they are going really well.. her life is in shambles.. Who stands up for the innocent? Even if we don’t get along.. or we are not all happy side by side.. why cant we just be happy that we are all so fortunate and carry on with our sepperate lives.. ugh. thanks for letting me vent.