(Closed) Why did you get married??

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I have always wanted to start my own family.. though my parents love me, I have always felt like the extra person, since each of my parents had kids with their spouses after me, and I shuffled house to house.  I get the biggest thrills out of the dumbest things, like decorating with my husband for christmas – I was left out a bunch when I was a kid, and I really treasure these things in our own little family.  I’m not sure they know that, but there you go!

Post # 4
Member
2513 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@ Dragonsus – You sound exactly like me.

For me, it was the extra security factor as well. My now-hubby has never given me a reason to think he would ever leave me either, married or not, but as a person I needed that extra reinforcement (i.e. legality) to feel completely solid & secure. I do know that life happens, people change & commitments can be broken unfortunately, but now at least if something happens 10 years down the road, he can’t get away scott-free!

LOL.

Horrible huh? 😛

Post # 6
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

That post brought up that question for me as well.  It took me awhile to really justify it to myself.  I’m not changing my name.  I really don’t want children (and am hard at work at good comebacks for people who start asking me when I’m going to have them).  Our relationship is in a lot of ways non-traditional.  I’m in a more lucrative industry than him so there’s no financial risk there.  We’re both vehemently non-religious.

What it comes down to, though, is that in the event something happens to one of us, I want the ability to be there with each other as family.  On a secondary level, we both adore our own and each others’ families, so being able to bring them together is a nice benefit as well. 

Post # 7
Member
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I got married because I found the love of my life and soulmate. One whom I wouldnt live without. He is my angel. <3

Post # 8
Member
1813 posts
Buzzing bee

while I understand how it works for others, living together with someone long-term w/o marriage isn’t part of my belief system…we had a Christian wedding, and it was very special to me…plus, we want to have kiddos soon, and we are both in our 30s now, so it wasn’t for $ or anything, but it still feels nice to have the 2 incomes!

Post # 10
Member
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

It’s so interesting to read these posts. I really love this thread. I’m actually getting married in June, but I think I can empathize with everyone here.

Personally, I have knew my guy was the right one for me immediately. It almost made we want to dump him, because I was only 22 when we first started dating. But now, 5-6 years later I feel ready and excited to build a life with him. I want to start a family and have a life partner, and I know there is no one that could be him.

Finances have never been an issue for me, I am not wealthy by any means, but I am pretty self-comtained in that regard.

Post # 11
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

you know, i never thought i would get married.  the entire institution struck me as antiquated and misogynous.  The whole ‘giving away the bride’ and getting mail that says mr and mrs hisfullname – I hate that by the way.  I loved being single.  The dating, the flirtation, the newness.  I never saw myself as a wife or mother – I always figured id be too busy changing the world to do some mans laundry.  And then I met him.  Man!  I went from not even liking it when a dude spent the night to never wanting to sleep without this man by my side.  i met someone that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with – shout out loud that he belonged to me and I belonged to him.  And to me, that is what marriage is.  A public proclamation in front of your friend/family, god, and government that you pledge your life and fidelity to an individual.

Post # 12
Member
2144 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m not entirely sure tbh. Best I could say is because I wanted to. It just felt like the right thing to do.

 

Now, don’t get me wrong. I totally, completely, absolutely LOVE my husband and I am sooo happy to be his wife, (as he farts on a pillow and hits me with it… sigh). but moving in together was a bigger deal than getting married. Neither of us are religious, so I guess it was more of the practical reasons as we felt bound together already, but now we legally are as well.

Post # 13
Member
3285 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

…because we found each other and knew that was our destiny!

heh – as cheesy as that sounds, it is true.  DH asked me about 2 months into dating what the probability was that we might end up getting married (IMHO) and I said 98.6 percent.  Six months later, much to my surprise, he popped the question.

Honestly, I have dated before, but it just was different with DH – we truly balance each other out and function as a team. 

Post # 14
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Because it seriously made me hurt to think about not having him in my life forever.  Simple as that.

Post # 15
Member
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I finally found someone with whom I had no doubts!  And while our relationship was committed before (we lived together for a year before we decided to get married), I knew I wanted to get married before having kids.  I am not super traditional, but I wanted the commitment and the security before we started a family.  Now that we are married, I have to say it has been wonderful bringing our two families together.  His family is such a joy, but unfortnately very far away.

Post # 16
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

We wanted to get married because it felt right. We both wanted to delcare our vows to each other and make a legal committment in front of our friends and family. We wanted the unity that comes with marriage. We’ve been together five years, and while I can’t say it’s much different than just living together, there is a sense of calm that has come with marriage. And calling him my husband will always make me feel good 🙂

We also wanted spousal rights, of course!

 

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