(Closed) Why do alot of brides do this? (aka ‘It’s MY day, not his!”)

posted 7 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
3525 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I haven’t noticed much of the “not allowing the groom to choose anything,” but it seems like the “It’s MY day” mentality is disturbingly prevalent…

Post # 4
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Hmmmm … this never happened with us.  I guess that’s because we had a last minute thrown together quickie JoP wedding with a “reception” for our immediate family only at our favourite restaurant! 

Post # 5
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Yeah I really hate the whole “its MY day” thing. While we were planning, DH kept telling me “its your day, do what you want” and it got on my nerves. I kept telling him its “our” day. But he didn’t really want to be involved with the planning. He helped choose the venue and the tuxes and that is about it.

Post # 8
Member
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Eh, because tv tells them its ok. If it makes you feel any better, it was “our day” and he picked the venue, the meal, the tuxes, the rings, the DJ, the officiant, and the chairs. I picked the colors, the dresses, the flowers, and the songs as in ceremony and first dance, etc. Together we picked the photographer, the bridal party, the cake, and the date. So maybe my story is purely anecdotal, and an exception, but I think maybe tv makes the “me, me, me” mindset seem more common.

Post # 9
Member
2462 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

i agree. my husband was pretty much involved in everything–i can’t think of a single vendor meeting he didn’t come to, besides dress-shopping and like, my hair/make-up trial. well, i met with our venue contact alone at first because he couldn’t make it, but he had already seen the place and given it his thumbs-up. it was really important to me to have it be OUR wedding and reflect both of us. i mean, i def took the lead on planning, but he was involved in every step.

Post # 10
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i’m all about the “it’s OUR day” idea — fi and i decide what’s best for us. i would never say it’s MY day instead of OURS though.

Post # 11
Member
1270 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@kitzy–i totally agree with the “our day” thing. we make almost every single decision together, and FI has picked out a lot of things himself. instead of me picking out what i like, WE pick out what WE like regardless of what anyone else thinks.

Post # 12
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think those types of people are the same ones who are divas about everything else in their lives. Brides are just put into the spotlight more, so we think it’s a “bride” thing, when really it’s just a human thing.

Post # 13
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

It’s mostly “my day” but he has input if he wants to. He just doesn’t care that much about stuff. The “getting married thing” is our idea but the “wedding thing” is all me.

Post # 14
Member
758 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

my fi doesnt really care about the little details like I do. I seem to have to tell my family more that it’s my day because they feel like they can do things their way. But I dont say that to my fi

Post # 15
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

IMHO, many men are not “into” weddings  or wedding planning.   Many men also do not know anything about weddings.  So if the previous statements are true for your FH, why go through the headache of…

(1) having a tutorial to explain everything involved in a wedding
(2) battling with the fiance about costs when he thinks the average wedding costs $5k 

This situation gets worse when your fiance is going along with the old tradition where the bride’s family pays for everything.  Sorry boo, I cannot make your wedding dreams come true on a beer budget.

Post # 16
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Everyone, FI included, refers to our wedding as “MY day”. He would have been fine going to the courthouse but I could never do that. Infact, last night as we were out to dinner and discussing wedding plans, he chimed in with “you know, we could be married for $50”. With that said, he has been great (and quite opinionated) about our wedding plans. I wasn’t expecting him to be as involved as he is but I think he’s into it. 

I’m constantly correcting people when they refer to it as “my day”. Its just as much his wedding as it mine. My mother is probably the worst person when it comes to this. Even after I correct HER she corrects ME by saying that its “all about me”. I get that she’s excited (I’m an only child) but sometimes its a little annoying. 

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