Post # 1
I just can’t understand it!
One of my high school friends just changed back to her married name on facebook and deleted all pictures of her and her husband. I messaged her to see if she was ok and was shocked to hear that her husband told her he’s been cheating on her. It’s crazy. They’ve been married for less than a year and she is one of the sweetest (and model-gorgeous) girls I’ve ever met 🙁 It’s so sad to hear about something like this but she sounds like she’s dealing with it far better than I could have.
I just don’t get why guys cheat….especially on such wonderful women 🙁
Post # 4
Underlying confidence and self worth issues? Or maybe they are just immature and can’t handle being married….the reasons are endless…
Post # 5
Guys cheat for the same reason that women cheat: they want to sleep with someone else more than they want to be honest with their partner.
Post # 6
Guys cheat because they like thrill of the new & the forbidden – even a sweet, gorgeous wife can’t provide that. Or sometimes it’s because they feel something missing in the relationship and can’t be bothered to make the effort to fix it.
I’m so sorry that happened to your friend 🙁
Post # 7
I really don’t think anyone can give a blanket statement as to why guys cheat. Every guy, just like every woman, is different. And as frustrating as it is when someone lumps all women into stereotypical categories, it is just as wrong to do it to guys, especially about cheating.
I am sorry for your friend, though; that’s awful.
Post # 8
I agree with @Amaryllis:. There could be a lot of different reasons why someone would cheat. It sucks no matter what the reason, though.
Post # 9
men cheat for the same reasons women do… lack of respect, need for variety, not being fully committed to the relationship, not sexually satisfied, being plain old jerk- it all sucks but its not just the guys
Post # 10
They think with the wrong head… however to be fair dont forget its not just men.
About 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair at some point in some marriage “Monogamy Myth”, Therapist Peggy Vaugn
Post # 11
My husband cheated on me for a combination of reasons, but it boils down to 1) abandonment issues (his mother left him and his father before he turned one, and later disowned him when he was 16), and 2) fear of intimacy (see earlier explanation).
He has never admitted that he has these two HUGE emotional issues, and they combined to make him freak out after we got married and push me away. But he also has this huge huge huge need to feel loved and is terrified of being alone – so he pushed away from me straight into the arms of another woman.
Very few scenarios are so simple that it’s just wanting to have sex with someone else. Mostly it’s a lot of fucked up emotional mess.
Post # 12
@QuietOne: “Mostly it’s a lot of fucked up emotional mess.” This about sums it up.
Post # 14
I agree with PPs that it can be a variety of reasons.
One thing I hate hearing guys say is that they cheated because the woman wasn’t paying them enough attention or being exciting anymore… boredom is not an excuse, fellas! But then again, women use that excuse, too, so perhaps a better question would be: Why do lovers cheat?
Post # 15
I think it’s pretty simple that lust runs rampant in our society and when a man or woman doesn’t feel validated that they seek out validation…. with lust right there waiting, and accepted, it’s easy for either to fall prey to.
No one wakes up and wants to hurt their spouse, but so often we get lax about what kind of thoughts and images we allow in our minds and hearts that our moral and value gets broken down.. we become selfish & feel entitled to satisfiy whatever we “need” and we very rarely consider what the consequence may come by fulfilling that. ^ obviously takes time and like in your friends case her SO was already on this road before the I Do’s were ever done.
There many be many differnt things that initialize the distraction of the individual, but ultimately it boils down to the lust that we as a society have accepted, and the selfishnes many of us hold and accept to please ourselves.
Post # 16
Interesting thoughts on cheating ladies! I agree that’s it’s not just men. I guess my limited experience has been with only men cheating, but I know women cheat as well. It’s just so sad when it happens 🙁