(Closed) Why do I feel badly?

posted 10 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

No not at all… my shower has the same policy.  I know exactly how you feel though, my FI’s 2 year old nephew is our ring bearer and my FMIL whined when we chose to not to have him at the cocktail hour or introduced at the reception (once again a strict no kids policy).  Our exact explanation was "this is not meet Adam day…if FSIL wants people to meet her kid she come back to visit more!" …and that pretty much put an end to that      Stick to your guns & don’t feel bad, this your day and that is one very minor & legitimate request

Post # 4
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

I don’t think you should feel badly at all, especially if it’s a "proper" English tea.  As a stay-at-home mom, you deserve a nice day free of other distractions.  You wouldn’t ask a CPA to crunch numbers at her shower; I don’t think you should be forced to engage in your profession during yours.

Post # 5
Member
18 posts
Newbee

First, thanks for replying to my post!  Second, maybe I shouldn’t comment, because I’m already selfish! LOL

It’s your shower, it should be the way you want it, and nobody should steal yoru thunder on your shower.  Maybe, everyone can get together after the shower, and spend time with the kiddies.  One thing I learned while planning my wedding, you’ll NEVER make everyone happy.

Post # 7
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Sweeny,

Don’t feel bad at all. You’re VERY justified to want to have no kids @ your shower. Heck I would too! Newborn thunder stealing aside, having 3 hours with no kids and just your friends to hang out with is reason enough to say HECK YEAH! Don’t feel guilty and just enjoy yourself. Your sister might be happy to get 3 hours to hang out too. 🙂

Post # 8
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2008

I LOVE Bizz1011’s reasoning. Too many people forget that being a stay-at-home mom IS a full time job – one that is literally 24/7. You want to have an afternoon away from mommy-business and that desire should be respected.

Post # 9
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I agree… enjoy it and have a guilt-free kids-free shower… you deserve it!!!

Post # 10
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

I completely understand.  When we got engaged, my husband’s two brothers announced that their wives were pregnant, one with twins.  So NO ONE cared about our wedding on his side.  We were the last to get married.  It totally sucks.  So I wanted our wedding things to be about us.  So no babies were allowed at the shower or the rehearsal dinner.  But, they both had their husbands pick them up for the shower and had them bring the babies at the end, so family did get to see them.  Which I was ok with.  Just tell her its your day, she had a shower I am sure, and she’ll have parties for the baby, and you would like to enjoy a relaxing grown up day.  Its not her decision.

Post # 11
Member
87 posts
Worker bee

Also, if you let your sister bring her baby, it wouldn’t really be fair to everyone else who aren’t allowed to bring their kids.  You’re allowed to exclude children from your bridal shower.  I think you have some very understandable reasons for doing so, so don’t feel guilty.

Post # 12
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

You’re feeling bad right now because you’re a good person who always puts others before you.  So doing something that’s perceived as "selfish" feels awkward.

It’s absolutely OK to put your needs first for a changes, especially when it comes to your wedding and related events.  Asking for an adult event free of children for 3 hours is not unreasonable or selfish. 

So stop the self-inflicted bad guilt feelings and enjoy it.  Your sister and FSIL will have to figure out their own opportunities to show off their kids.  I’m sure there will be plenty of time for that. 

Have fun at your shower and enjoy the attention.  As a stay-at-home mom, you know those moments are far and few in between so revel in it!

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