Post # 1
So here’s my problem. Ive haven’t been feeling totally excited on planing a wedding. Before we were engaged it was all I could think about. I just totally feel well uninterested.
I don’t know if it’s just due to financial implications. That make me feel non interested. Or that my fiancé doesn’t really seem to be interested in talking about a wedding.
My mother also doesnt show any interest nor does the future inlaw.
So is it normal about feeling this way? I am happy our relationship and I would marry him in a heartbeat.
Post # 2
FutureMrsLandi: It sounds like you don’t have many people in your life excited about planning a wedding, and it is making you feel less interested. It is a completely normal feeling and at times I too felt the same way. As much as a wedding day will be beautiful the planning is stressful in a lot of parts can seem daunting. Maybe you should start off looking into fun things, like looking at pretty dresses and colour schemes. Do you have a date? That can be a good place to start with your FI to get him involved. 🙂
Post # 3
Wedding planning can be overwhelming – maybe its because your not sure when to start. Do you have any siblings or close friends you can discuss ideas with? Pick a season, colours, cities and research potential venues and go from there! Take it all in small steps. Once things start to come together it will get addictive. Happy Planning 🙂
Post # 4
AugustBlossom: Ive been trying to get him to sit down and decide but he just always replys we have alot of time or he isn’t in the mood or he is tired. We have decided on a venue and colour scheme.
happy to know someone feels the same way.
Post # 5
FutureMrsLandi: Don’t feel too down about it. I have felt this way on and off and I am so thankful we aren’t having a super long engagement otherwise I honestly think I would hate wedding planning. As much as you may feel like you ‘just want to be married already’ there are some good aspects in wedding planning that can be so fun. I would ask FI again to sit down and seriously talk about planning, even if its just setting a date or choosing some weekends that look like they could work. Men can be so clueless sometimes.
Post # 6
I think there’s way too much pressure surrounding weddings. You MUST feel butterflies when you find your wedding dress, your dad must be overjoyed about walking you down the aisle, your friends must go crazy over your bachelorette- and if not, there’s something wrong! Really, just feel however you want to feel.
Post # 7
FutureMrsLandi: I felt this way until people around me started showing interest in the wedding. I think it was because most people looked at our situation and saw “I don’t see how they can afford it” because I was just moving home from school and trying to start my career. Once people around me saw how serious I was about making this happen, they started coming around and showing more interest so I became more interested in planning. When is your wedding? I know my fiance wasn’t too interested in planning until closer to the 1 year mark (We have had a long engagement due to me being away at school) so I can understand not wanting to do much. Luckily I wasn’t interested in choosing much of the music which he loves so I told him he could do that while I work on everything else and kept him in the loop of things.
Post # 8
- Wedding: November 2014 - Nazareth Hall
FutureMrsLandi: How long is your engagement/ soon is your wedding? I am having an 18 month engagement and honestly I felt really excited when we first got engaged, then after we found the venue I went through a lull because work is insane in the summer and I didn’t feel like planning anything during 70 hour work weeks, then I got SUPER excited once I got my dress and now (back to the 70 hour work weeks) I want nothing to do with the wedding and I’m 88 days away. I feel like it’s been a pendulum swing the entire time even though I am so excited to marry my best friend and spend forever with him. I just think it’s the natural way to feel.
Post # 9
Mez03: Might be in the same situation. Financially…. We havent decided the date but we would like it to be about next year September to December just depends. If wr could only decided on a date that would give us time to save up. Cant believe he doesn’t have any interest what so ever.
Post # 10
FutureMrsLandi: i knew DH was proposing and my mom REALLY wanted to go to the big bridal expo in town. i didn’t want to go and i was 2 weeks before the proposal (yeah, i knew when). so i unhappily went with my mom. i came home and asked DH if we could elope instead as i didn’t want to plan a wedding.
but our engagement was 7 months and i booked all my vendors in the first 2 months, then the last 1-2 months i had stuff to do. the months in between, not much went on. so overall, it really wasn’t bad and it wasn’t stressful at all.
Post # 11
To be honest there were only a handful of things I actually enjoyed about planning my wedding. I had fun dress shopping at first, but that got old and exhausting quick. I had fun cake tasting with my mom (mostly because I live out of state and spending an entire day with her is a rare occurance), and food tasting with my husband. Probably the most fun thing was dance lessons with my husband (though that was something we had wanted to do and a wedding seemed like a good reason to do it now). Other than that, I really found it very stressful and exhausting. There were so many things I had to plan that honestly I could have cared less about. Once you do set a date and it seems more real people will start taking an interest. I don’t think anyone had an interest in our wedding until we set a date and booked a venue and we could start to picture it. It turned out beautiful and everyone had an amazing time. I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Even a long engagement (ours was 18 months) goes fast, so enjoy it.
Post # 12
I’m sorry I can’t help too much, I loved planning our wedding, but I love planning things. I also had a hard time getting DH to help pick a date. We had a season in mind, but I couldn’t get him to help with a date. So I picked a few dates, gave them to DH and told him to pick one. It made it easier to get him on board when he only had a few choices. It wasn’t as overwhelming. Try that with your FI to see if that perks him up.
Post # 13
That’s normal,especially there is financial stress involved and people around you don’t seems to be overly excited for you. I was on the same page as you and was upset inside my heart that seems like nobody really cares. but as time goes by, people start to show interest and so does my FI. I would say in my one year engagement, I only start to feel the excitement and love about 3 months ago…. I guess when things are finalized and it feels more “real” to me… and it start hitting me
The best moment lately is when FI introduce me to his old time friend as “this is my wife” proactively
Post # 14
What worked for us was splitting up responsibilities once the bigger stuff was booked. My fiance is very proactive but also less invested in the details of the wedding. This is a man who will insist on custom-making my ring, but doesn’t get my we need flowers 😉
Once we got engaged, we talked about must-haves (what season, specific locations, specific day of week), set a budget based on the assumption that no one was giving us a dime, then narrrowed down places to check out on Weddingwire before we made weekend appointments with each (helped a lot – we went from 28 options to 3 venues in a matter of hours).
After we figured out the venue, we started using a timeline and split duties up so we’d meet deadlines and also accoridng to our interets (he doesn’t see the point in having flowers, I have no idea where to buy cases of liquor in this area, etc. you get the idea). We’d spend an hour or two each weekend looking at lists and checking off stuff, seieng what the next steps were, then made it a point to have days off where wedding stuff just wouldn’t be discussed (because it drove him nuts and it stressed me out).
Nothing’s perfect, but that worked well for us and we’re on track to get married in a month with nothing major being left undone. Hope this helps!
Post # 15
rittenhousenewbee: gpiglet: Fall_In_Love22: mgbser: ajillity81: Mez03: Thanks to all your replys and supporting and uplifting messages. Im starting to feel better.
We have discussed some details earlier this evening. So I feel alot calmer now.
Thank all of you.