Why do I fool myself so many times???

posted 1 year ago in Emotional
Member
2941 posts
Sugar bee

Girlfriend you need to change your number and your email address. Stop having any communication with him. He’s a user and a manipultor.

Member
10688 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

you need to stop communicating with him – no matter what it takes (change your number or have his blocked).  You also need to tell him to NEVER contact you again.  Only once I had done that was I truly free from ex and able to move on.  Stop torturing yourself.  You shouldn’t be leaving work early to go see ANY man – especially not your ex! 

Member
10688 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@mamadingdong:  +1 he’s a master manipulator who can’t commit and is addicted to the chase.  The second you are not available to him, he comes running back begging for you, once you give in to him, he doesn’t want you anymore.  THis is not LOVE it’s emotional ABUSE!

Member
1468 posts
Bumble bee

He is absolutely full of shit.  Cut all communication with this guy and take care of yourself.

Member
2224 posts
Buzzing bee

@Miss Pez:  Please delete his number, email address, de-friend him on all social media sites. It will be hard but I promise time will heal your wounds and it will get easier.

Member
6938 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Miss Pez:  *HUGS*  You need to cut off communication completely.  Love yourself, you deserve it.  If you need to beg a man to be with you, then he’s not worth it because he’s not smart enough to realize what he has.

Member
223 posts
Helper bee

Delete him from your phone so you aren’t tempted to call. Block him from FB if he’s on there you just HAVE to take the necessary steps if you MEAN what you say. You say you need God’s help but the tools have already been given to you but it’s up to YOU to use them. be strong!

Member
8046 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@Miss Pez:  This was me a few years ago.

Read the book “He’s Just Not That Into You” – it helped me to realize that I needed to STOP MAKING EXCUSES FOR HIM. I know they made a movie about it which I think is quite different. Read the book. Seriously.

You need to cut off all contact.

And yes, it does get easier, and yes I can totally relate to that empty, used feeling.

Logically I think you know that you don’t want to be with a wishy washy guy like this. You want to be with a man who loves you and treats you right.

I let my last mess of a relationship continue for FIVE years. Thank God I finally got out. You can too.

Member
540 posts
Busy bee

@Miss Pez:  It’ll be the hardest thing you’ll do to make the decision to erase any way of communicating with him and vice versa. However, once you do it, I promise you WILL feel so much better. I’ve been through this and it was just so unspeakably hard to let go and cut all ties. Once I did, though, it was like a giant weight was lifted off my shoulders and I was ready to heal.

Member
10688 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@canarydiamond:  +1 love that book it totally helped me (and therapy) get out of my shitty cat-n-mouse game I called a relationship!

Member
2248 posts
Buzzing bee

When I first read this, I had in mind a very young guy that just doesn’t have a clue. Then I read through some of your older posts and realized that this guy is almost 40 with kids!!! Now that I know that… RUN and RUN FAST! He is no good for you. A guy at that age with all that under his belt should know better by now. He’s treating you like dirt and you don’t deserve it! It’s hard, I know, trust me, been there, but you CAN get away and move on with your life, you just have to decide to do so and then do it. Keep your chin up girl and BLOCK him out of your life! 

Member
10688 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@PonytailKim:  +1 omg yes. The day I told him to never F-ing contact me again (and I blocked him from everything) was like a huge release. A weight had been lifted.  But, not lie my head came out of the fog.  It sounds outrageous, but I could see in color again.  Literally, the sky was a brighter shade of blue than it had been during the relationship and just colors were more vibrant – literally. It was hard but so amazing and so worth it! 

OP – you can’t go on liek this forever.  It’s not healthy. It won’t stop until you make it stop.  Take control of your happiness and well being by cutting the contact.  You are the only person in charge of your happiness.  Only you can make the decisions that need to be made to get you through this.  Love and value yourself more and treat yourself the way you deserve to be treated.  It will be the most amazing feeling in the world once you do that – I promise.  

And, once you give up the contact, you will heal and move on so much faster than you think you will.  I dragged myself through the torture you’re dragging yourself through for MONTHS after we broke up.  It took me a matter of weeks to forget about him and be happy again once I cut the contact and deleted him from my life.

Member
537 posts
Busy bee

@Miss Pez:  oh hunny, I can feel your pain through this computer screen. He has allthe control and power tight now. Continue to pray becuase it is the only thing that will heal your heart. Do not allow him back ion he has proved that he is not worthy! stay strong we are here for you. Next time he text or calls you post here instead of replying!

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