(Closed) Why do I have to do that?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
46160 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Why do you feel you have to justify your choices to anyone else?

Have the wedding you want.

Post # 6
Member
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Is it that they don’t agree or that they cannot envision what you mean?

Post # 7
Member
923 posts
Busy bee

Know what you mean, I’m in the same shoes sortof. This might mean you have to do more yourself. Honestly I had more fun wedding planning before I involved anyone for this same reason. Anyway, you SHOULD NOT change your theme or colors or anything. It’s not their wedding!! It’s yours!! If they want to help and then end up bitching and moaning about what you want then you can nicely but ever so pointedly say “I’m really flattered and glad you want to help. I know my ideas sound different to you, and when you say things like ______ or question my ideas in this way it makes me feel like crap and it slowly zaps the fun out of all of this for me. I know that’s not what you’re intending to do. So for now on if you want to help can you please just tell me what a great idea it is and do as I’m I’m asking? that would feel a lot more supportive and less negative.”

Post # 8
Member
5658 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

You can do whatever you want. Just ignore anyone who says otherwise.

Post # 9
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Do what you want! Oddly enough, I (a very traditional bride) think that your wedding plans sound amazing so far! I think it is awesome when people wear a ball gown type dress on the beach because it makes such a dramatic effect! I also think a dark blue would be a great color. You go with what you want! It sounds like you have great taste and this is your day 🙂

Post # 10
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

If you haven’t already, you might want to make an inspiration board to show people. That might bring all your ideas together in a more easy to understand way than just explaining.

Post # 11
Member
5756 posts
Bee Keeper

Welll…what is making you so non-traditional? The dress and color scheme can’t be all there is to it, so what are you wanting that’s so different that people can’t grasp the concept?

Post # 12
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@SandAndSea: why do you feel pressured to do any of these things? you do whatever you feel will make your day special and dont let anyone tell you otherwise

Post # 13
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

You have a vision for your wedding. Keep it. Make it a reality. Let the nay-sayers be amazed at the beauty of it all, when they see all of your ideas come together to create one wonderful wedding.

Here’s to all non-traditional brides!

(And, by the way, a ballgown on the beach is just brilliant! Love it. As well as incorporating midnight blue, bringing some sophistication to the beach scene. You go.)

Post # 14
Member
46160 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If people want to help and you want to accept their help, especially of it involves any sort of DIY, do a sample for them to reproduce exactly.

 Otherwise, explain to them that what  would be really helpful is if they can be part of your vision and just do what you ask. If they can’t do that, then gratefully thank them for their offer but you have already decided what you want.

Post # 16
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I am having a beach wedding too. I think your ideas sound amazing, and I’m thinking of stealing some of your ideas!!! I especially like the dark blue idea! I think its really important to stick with what you want since its your day.

We have refused money from various family members who think that by contributing they get to have a say in how our day is planned or who we invite. I am sticking to my guns! Good luck!

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