(Closed) Why do I have to give up everything?!? *vent*

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
46154 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

1. Is it possible to leave the antiques with someone here in Canada for a couple of years?

Do you have any friends or family who could store them for you?

2. Maybe when he has also had some sleep, you will be able to convince him that you can blend the two styles.

 It is much more interesting to mix contemporary furnishings and antiques, than to have match, matchy everything. If he can”t live with that, then you certainly should be able to have your antiques on the ground floor and perhaps the bedroom, since no one but the two of you will see that room.

If he can’t give you this, then it would be a red flag for me about his ability to compromise on anything else in the relationship.

Post # 4
Member
8354 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I am sorry you are having to go through this. I don’t think your idea is a bad one at all. Hopefully, after he gets some sleep, he will adjust to your compromise and you will be able to keep your dining room set. It seems like he doesn’t want to give up any of his space. Maybe remind him, in a nice way, that marriage is about compromise and this would be a good one to compromise on. Let him know all that you are and have given up already. It seems to me that he wants to control the entire situation. Personlly, I don’t think it is very fair of him to expect you to give up so much.

Post # 5
Member
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Maybe after he’s had some sleep you can explain to him that while you’re excited to do it, with having to uproot yourself and move away from everything familiar, it would help with your transition to have some of your sentimental pieces make the move with you?

I moved from Canada to New England too and from Mid-Coast Maine…. Ottawa is a ways away. If I felt like I couldn’t make our house a home with some of the things that mean a lot to me/reflect me and my taste, it would have made the transition a lot harder. 

 

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