Post # 1
I met a couple yesterday, complete strangers, at a party. They are getting married in September, I am getting married next August. Her first question was “Why are you waiting so long? Why not this year?”
Now, we’ve been asked this before, mostly by members of our church, but I kind of understand why they ask. I don’t understand why someone I don’t know asks. I spent the next minute or two listing our reasons, feeling like I was defending myself to this woman. In process, she heard half of our life (e.g. we’re hoping to buy a house first). Bleurgh.
Why did she ask? Why do I get so defensive? and How do I answer without either (a) giving my life story, or (b) sounding rude.
Post # 3
Maybe she was just trying to make conversation? Personally I’m awkward when I first meet people, so that might be something I would say. Did she sound mean or was she just asking a question?
Post # 4
Just use a default: “The venue we wanted was booked and August 2012 is the soonest we could do it.” and then smile.
Post # 5
Maybe she was so excited about getting married she can’t understand why others would have a longer engagement. Whatever the reasons, they are between you and your FI. I agree with what Miss Tattoo suggested as your pat answer.
Post # 6
The answer to your post title is “You don’t”.
I always remember what Dear Abby suggested to answer questions people should not have asked:
“Why would you ask such a question?”
Post # 7
“Because we want to.”
End of story. I get this a lot too and I am tired of justifying it. So I don’t anymore. 🙂
Post # 8
No, I don’t think she was trying to be mean. But I do think it’s a bit of an odd question considering how many wedding-related topics we could talk about.
I’ll have to try the venue line 🙂 at least for strangers (we haven’t booked it yet). I started blathering on about how we need to book our church and venue, and about saving money, and all sorts of rubbish!
Post # 9
I would just say something like, “Oh, a number of reasons – vendor availability, finances, trying to make it possible for as many friends and family to attend as we can, etc.” I don’t think she meant any malice. But if her engagement wasn’t all that long, she probably doesn’t realize how often you get that question. Trust me, though – everyone has that one question that people Just. Won’t. Stop. Asking. Based on my wedding date, I’m sure you can figure out what mine was. Just figure out a canned response and give it every single time. You’ll get really good at it 🙂
Post # 10
Yeah, I would just go with an answer like “that’s what worked for us and our families”, and leave it at that if I didn’t feel like going into a major explanation.
She was probably just trying to make conversation though.