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Hello Ladies,
I just need to vent. I am tired of having to explain why we are getting married only 6 months after getting engaged. He propsed on 11/11/11 and our wedding day is 04/21/12. Lots of people keep asking why we are getting married so soon. Well the way I see it, I waited 4 years for him to propose, we have lived together for 2 years, just bought our first house togehter, are in our mid thirties and want to have a baby after we get married. I think it is perfect timeing or am I moving to fast?
I personally think some people in my life are jealous.
Ask them, "why does it matter to you?" :)
Don't defend your choices to anyone. If you're happy and it's right for you, then ignore jealous or rude comments like that.
@wmontano77: Your decision to get married, as well as your timing, is NO ONE'S business but your own!
I think it's silly that they would even question the length of your engagement. Your reasons to have a 6 month engagements make perfect sense to me, I'd do the same in your shoes. But you shouldn't have to justify your choice to anyone, anyway.
Maybe you could come up with a few snappy comebacks like "We want to be married before the world ends in 2012!"
At the stage you're in, 30's have the house, living together for 2 years.. nope, I think if you want to get married asap and ttc, that's not too fast at all!
I had people ask what was taking us so long to get married.Don't worry about trying to make anyone other than you guys happy. I would much rather have preferred a shorter engagement, but we just couldn't afford a wedding in 6 months. I think it's great that you are getting it done quickly so you can move on with other, more important goals.
ETA: I'd let my natural smart-a$$ come out and ask them, "Why do you ask, what date works for you?"
Don't justify anything to anyone. It has nothing to do with them and I would tell them that.
Or you could go, because it is the only day that the Doctor could make it. He is all booked up for the next few millenia saving the planet.
You should tell people something stupid, so they understand how stupid their question is.
I would tell them something like "We would have gotten married sooner, but I wanted to make sure the incisions and brusing from my boob job wouldn't show up in any of the wedding pictures"
or..."We wanted to be able to convince people that our newborn was actually born in wedlock, so we couldn't wait any longer"
My husband and I were engaged FOUR MONTHS after we started dating and we were married THREE MONTHS after getting engaged. My parents (who have been married 30 years) knew each other only SIX MONTHS before getting married and they're still going strong!
It's a decision personal to you and your financee and none of anyone's darn buisness as far as I am concerned!
P.S.: Not a single person (despite our short courtship) ever asked why we were getting married so soon. In fact, my mother and husband wanted the wedding in October!
Don't justify it or come back with a snappy line. My abrasive (and hopefully humorous) personality might say something like, "Oh I'll just wait until my ovaries shrivle up and die" or something with the word spinster--I love that word.
Its not like you have only met him 6 months ago, its been a long time, and why wait if you know what you want........and what you say about your age and children......biological clock and all that.
go for it.......cos when you know, you know.
Thank you ladies, every single one of you made my day and I totally love the line about getting married before the world ends on 2012. haha
I think it is perfect timing for us and I cant wait to be his wife. :)
Thank you ladies, every single one of you made my day and I totally love the line about getting married before the world ends on 2012. haha
I think it is perfect timing for us and I cant wait to be his wife. :)
I don't think you're having a really short engagement. It's pretty rude for people to ask. I vote that you should use the world ending line. :)
@misskoala: I completely forgot about the end of the world in 2012. I'll be so pissed if the world ends and I've had my heater set on 55 all winter so that the money saved could be diverted to the wedding. No heat, no wedding and now I'm dead--they haven't seen bridezilla yet.
Ugh, you can never win! We're in the middle of our two year long engagement and it's "too long" lol!
Say something funny and don't let it get to you! when the wedding is over none of it will matter and you wont think of it for a second.
It was the same here but we where together 6 years, living together for 4, have a kid, and only had a 3 month engagement lol. People where like "whaaat? 3 months?" but at the end of the day I wanted an October wedding and there was no point in waiting a whole year! Now that its over, nobody has said a word and I don't think of how rude people where.
Six months seems like plenty of time to me! I figure you're ready the moment you say "yes" if not you shouldn't be engaged! What do you have to wait for if you know he's the one?
The only advantage is time to plan a more elaborate wedding, but six months is plenty of time for that as well unless you need to reserve a much sought after location in high season. I was really surprised to find that there are so many women that plan their weddings several years in advance, some of them even before they met their man! :)
I don't think you need to justify anything! People will always have an opinion... if you waited longer to get married, they would probably complain that your engagement was too long!
It sounds like you are in a good, stable place right now - why not get married as soon as you like?
LOL!
And another thing.....if its gonna end in 2012, it had better be AFTER my wedding day cos i got some a posh frock and some killer heals i am dying to wear!
I think pointing out that these year-long engagements are a very NEW trend.
Seriously, when my FI and I told his (older) family when we were getting married, his Mom asked us why we were waiting so long!
You can always claim that 5 months was simply too soon! I don't know why people would ask with a 6month engagement. My mister and I are planning on that length ourselves. I mean, why push it any further when we've been waiting so long already?!
we married within 6mths as well - if you are ready you are ready
tell people you need to have a quickie wedding before the baby starts to show - if they are going to comment then give them something to gossip about :)
You are all a bunch of great woman, Thank you so much for all your advice. I am definately doing this because I feel it is right for us. Everything is falling into place and I cant wait for that day. :) I always wanted a simple spring wedding and that is just what we are having, No one is helping us to pay for it so why do they even care.
Try saying "What a strange question!" and then just continue talking as if they didn't ask something so dumb.
We got married 4 1/2 months after we got engaged. People often gave me the lifted eyebrow when I told them..I would just smile and say I couldn't wait for the day to get here :)
People are always going to have an opinion about something you're doing...as long as you're happy, it doesn't matter! :)
People do always have an opinon... FI and I have a long engagement (2 years) and we get questions about that constantly. I think it's interesting when it comes to weddings, people have no problem being rude and asking questions that sometimes have personal reasons! I'd probably say somethign funny like "now that I see how great my e-ring looks, I just want to add more bling ;o)". People are absurd, good luck with your planning, can't wait to see how it turns out
i think its totally normal to marry after 6 months of marriage. I personally know people who got married around that time frame who knew each other for a shorter period then 4 years.. Who cares what others think, its your life.
@pinkshoes: absolutely ditto that that! No reason to wait! At all!!
Never feel the need to defend your choice. This day is for you and your future husband, you know what feels right and works for you. You've been together long enough, you know he's "the one"!
i vote you say "i don't give a shit what you think" LOL
seriously I could kinda understand people putting in their 2 cents where they're not wanted if you'd been together a short time and were 19 yrs old and wanted to get married in a month. You're 30 something? and you've been together for 4 yrs...and you own a freakin house together,..these people are either jealous or just obnoxious...you pick!
I think when people ask that question it comes from a place of concern rather than judgment. Seriously, we all know how much work it is to plan a wedding...why not wait and give yourself more time (is probably what they are thinking)?
My cousin is getting married six months after she got engaged and I too wondered about her sanity, I admit. Of course I don't expect her or any other bride to have to justify their chosen date and you shouldn't have to. People are just vocal about opinions and feelings, don't take it personally. :)
@Treejewel19: Totally agree with you.
I don't think everyone is personally attacking you with their questions but planning a wedding is very time intensive and it's pretty expensive. Usually people need some time to save additional funds as well as taking the time to plan the wedding. Also, if you plan on having a lot of out of town guests, you need to notify these people ASAP that your wedding is soon so they have time to plan ahead and block off the weekend as well as save for the airfare and hotel costs.
If I had had the money, I would have been married in a month. I don't see the point of waiting. If you know, you know. When the wedding happens shouldn't be of concern to anyone but the two of you.
For the life of me I will never understand people and the things they say.
Why do people feel the need to tell you how to live or why you're doing this or that?
See, there's no pleasing anyone!!!! If it was me I'd probably ask "Why would you ask such a question"? Let them explain themselves.
I saw this quote and it made me think of your post "When you decide to spend the rest of your life with someone you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible" I think thats pretty fitting
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