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Theres nothing wrong with trying to act as thought your cool, and just a little Hey how are you?! kind of thing.
Its normal to feel totally awkward, no worries! it will take time for you to develop a new position in your life and in his.
I ran into an ex at a wedding who I didn't know was invited. It had been about seven years, and funnily enough I did not even recognize him! He said hi and had to ask if I knew who he was-- it was a total shocker! I did not even recognize him.
Odds are you won't run into each other if it is big--and I trust your friend won't put you at the same table. I assume you will have your date with you, so just smile and say hi and keep walking. I don't see the point in forcing a convo, but in my own situation I ended up chatting with him and finding out about what he was up to, met his FI, etc. We didn't date very long, but we did have an akward pretty awful break up. It was a super surreal experience.
If it makes you feel better, my ex is marrying my sister's best friend in a couple months. I see her all the time and him sometimes. It was awkward at first, but I knew I'd be seeing him more and more so I just got over it. There's no feelings there (obviously I'm married and he's engaged), it's just kinda weird. I don't know how your break up was, but ours was kinda mutual, no fighting or anything so that may have made it easier. I think most people would be worried, at least a little, to run into their ex. You just have to be mature about it and worry about yourself, you'll be fine.
I saw an ex I hadn't seen for 7 years at a wedding recently, and the bride sat all of us together... my hubs, his wife, and a few of our other friends.
It actually wasn't that bad! We all ended up chatting the whole time. I worried for weeks prior that it would be awkward to see him, let alone TALK to him, then it ended up being no big deal at all. It was actually really nice. :)
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So, I've seen my ex-BF only 2x in the last 4 or 5 years, both times while I was in my car. I still have not had a real face-to-face run in...I just realized I will probably see him when our mutual friend gets married.
She never talks about him, but I am sure it is just because she knows better. I would be surprised, though, if she is not still friends with him.
He and I still live in the same city, and she lives in CA but is getting married here.
Do I just say 'hi' and move on by? Do I make minimal small talk? Do I act like he doesn't exist? I'm already a little geeky/awkward, so I really don't know how to act and wish this didn't make me nervous at all.