Why do men feel the need to spend waaay too much on a ring?

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
297 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@katiecat08:  The amount of money a guy (or a couple) spends on the engagement ring varies widely and is up to them. While you are happy with a relatively inexpensive ring, other peoples tastes and budgets can allow for a more expensive one. Personally mine was $6-7k, which was under our budget, and I know someone who spent $13k on theirs.

Post # 4
Member
1235 posts
Bumble bee

I agree with you! It’s like a weird sense of pride thing.. If he would have went with the weird engagement ring rule, my ring would have been around 20,000.. And I am sooo not comfortable walking around with that on my hand. I made it clear that I wanted to spend less rather than more.

I hate the heirloom defense too.. Honestly, an engagement ring is not an investment. An investment pays off. 

Post # 5
Member
212 posts
Helper bee

I think both men and women feel pressure from society to have an expensive diamond engagement ring. Some people are more sensitive to it for others and neither way is ‘wrong’. While I was okay with getting moissanite, my SO is insistent on buying a diamond. He feels it is the way it should be and if that is what he prefers, then so be it! Every couple needs to find a solution that they are both comfortable with.

Look at it this way – he went to the jeweler’s and things are in motion! 

Post # 6
Member
7279 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Because DeBeers master minded one of the most brilliant marketing campaigns in history. And many women believe it and share these expectations with their mates. And since men tend to aim to please they buy into the peer pressure. 

Post # 7
Member
42490 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Both men and women are affected by peer pressure. It is a rare young couple who have a high enough level of self- esteem and self- confidence to resist those kind of societal pressures.

 

Post # 8
Member
2338 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

ugh i just had this conversation last night with my SO- He wants to spend 3 months salary on it, because he feels pride to be able to say he got that for me, and he saved for it and thinks i’m worth that much.

I just want him to put any ring on it! I feel you girl!

Post # 9
Member
8025 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Why the need to disparage how other people spend their money? Budgets are personal to each situation. 800 bucks to you is 18000 to someone else. For someone to sacrifice and save to get a symbol of love  and promise is a meaningful gesture- that’s why the tradition stuck. The amount that constitutes a sacrifice is entirely relative. 

Post # 10
Member
1111 posts
Bumble bee

I agree with some others, it’s a pride and peer pressure thing.

My FI is very old-fashioned, and he wanted to be the one to ask for my hand in marriage and propose. To him, the ring was not just a sign of his commitment and love for me but a sign to my family that he could provide and take care of me. In reality he will not have to be the sole breadwinner because I always plan to have a career, but he wants people to know that he is a good, capable SO who will provide.

Post # 11
Member
451 posts
Helper bee

@bklynbridetobe:  +1 on the marketing DeBeer’s has pulled since the 20s!

Admission: Totally worked on me.  Totally.  Diamonds are a girls best friend.  Stupid as all get out, just being honest about what I want but only because we can afford it.  I’m pretty jealous of the light pink moissanites with the pink gold but he would not have anything to do with it.

Post # 12
Hostess
15072 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

My husband made my ring, he didnt feel any pressure to buy me something fancy from me, he knows that it’s what I really wanted but for a short time he thought that’s just what guys do is get the lady a diamond. We went to have one made at a jeweler but i could never find any design more desirable to me than the one he made for me with his own two hands. I absolutely adore my ring and I’m trilled we opted out of the fancier ring that I never really wanted anyways. 

Post # 13
Member
1864 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Because they know that their girl likes big, white, sparkly, things and they want to get it for her because they love her? And because they can afford to, even if that means saving for it. 

Post # 15
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

WOW. YEA…. SORRY, I CAN’T COMMENT ON THIS POST 🙂 I HAVE THE OPPOSITE PROBLEM!

Post # 16
Hostess
15072 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@SomedaymrsWDS:  sure! I don’t have any good ones, I really need to take some better ones. 

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