Post # 1
I really, really don’t understand why some men sit on a ring once it’s in their possession. I can see a month or two to wait for a special trip or a certain date. But some just seem to be waiting for the spirit to move them. I’ve seen a number of women on here whose SO has been waiting up to a year and a half after the ring was purchased and in the house. WHY? Whywhywhy? Do they buy it and then freak out that it’s getting real? Do they get some amazing deal but it’s a year before engagement makes seense? (In which case why would they be looking?).
Really I want to hear from some of you about how long you’ve been waiting since knowing the ring was in his possession. My SO just ordered mine yesterday and while he’s given me no indication he’ll hold onto it (especially a year, that’s so painful!), I worry it will be 2 or 3 months, which will kill me with anxiety.
I’m curious, not in how it pertains to my situation so much, but how you guys handle it and why on earth they do it?
Post # 3
Agreed, that really confuses me. Like if you’re serious enough to buy a ring why aren’t you ready to just ask already? The only good excuses I can think are 1. It’s a family piece, it was passed down to them/gifted to them without them asking, so they are not ready. 2. They’re waiting for a specific date (brithday, holiday, etc). Other than that I’ve got nothing.
For the record, FI had my ring all of 2 hours before he proposed. He clearly doesn’t understand the logic of sitting on it either.
Post # 4
I think some men feel that their SO’s are expecting a really lavish proposal, which causes more stress and money and time to plan.
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
The title of this thread…haha!
Post # 6
@SomedaymrsWDS: My FI proposed within a month of getting the ring, so I can’t really help. I will say that sometimes a guy gets nervous about their financial situation. How much the ring costs, how it was paid for, and how much money they have in savings may determine when they actually ask. Weddings can be expensive and they may want to have a financial cushion in place before planning – and they may be under the assumption that planning would start immediately.
I do think there are a lot of guys who also want to make the proposal special and just don’t know how. They just overthink it and, I think, they put a lot of pressure on themselves to do it “the right way” without realizing there is no right way.
If you’re concerned you can always ask him about it and see what he says. If either of you want it to be a surprise though, you may be out of luck with that tatic.
Do you know for sure that your SO is planning to wait a few months or are you just guessing? How old are you both? Do you have a place to live? Do you have some money saved up? Do you have a general idea of when you both want to get married and a general idea for the length of the engagement? Does he generally like trying to surprise you?
Post # 7
@SomedaymrsWDS: haha DH had my ring hidden for 6 months exactly. He was waiting to go on vacation.
Post # 8
Agreed – I am in a similar position as you are. My SO just bought a ring for me online a week ago. I have no idea when he will decide to give it to me but he has hinted that it will be before summer. So, I got that going for me. Just knowing the ring will be at his place in a week or two is going to make me so antsy!!
I wish I knew where he is going to hide it…. 😉 Just kidding..
Post # 9
LOL, the title of this thread made me giggle. 😛
I would guess that maybe some freak out about sh*t getting real, maybe some are waiting for a special milestone date… Those would be my main guesses!
Post # 10
@SomedaymrsWDS: I love the title of this thread – hilarious.
I’m married, but my DH (SO at the time) had the ring in the house for a couple of weeks before asking b/c I told him he needed to order 3-4 weeks in advance. Then it turned out that it was shipped quicker than 3-4 weeks. He was waiting for our 2 year dating anniversary to ask (7/14) so if I voted, I would pick the “0-3 months” option.
Post # 11
I wonder about this too!!! I just don’t get it. Like if the girl knows it’s in the house… the surprise is totally taken out of the proposal. A proposal is almost guaranteed to happen. So why wait??
Post # 12
@LoggerHead91207: We’re both old (40, 37), we have two homes and are financially fine. The length of engagement depends on his child’s comfort. My boys are 6 and 12 but are pretty excited/well adjusted about us getting married. His 9 year old will be moving to a new house (mine), potentially changing schools and is very sensitive and easily upset.. His mom the drama queen plays a large role in getting him riled up and upset. We want to get married during the summer so settling in occurs before the school year starts. We’d both like nest summer but don’t know if 7-8 months is enough for his son. Might be the following summer or just go for the school year but keep drama to a minimum, slowing moving their stuff into my house.
My guess is I’ll get the ring very soon after he gets it from the jeweler (about Cristmas hopefully unless they’re really backed up due to the holidays). I say that because he does get excited. BUT every holiday and birthday I’ve always been totally surprised by what he gave me and when I mentioned a Christmas proposal he said that that is cliche and that it wouldn’t be very special. What? I’m hoping his idea of special is a nice dinner.
Post # 14
My SO bought my ring back in July. At that time, we planned on getting married the following summer (2014), but we pushed the wedding back (to 2015) for financial reasons and school. My SO must not know what a long engagement is, because he still has it. Now, he’s waiting for us to go on vacation to propose, which can’t be until Spring.
Post # 15
@SomedaymrsWDS: Best waiting thread title ever!
Post # 16
@Secret-Garden: OHHHHHH, six months! I know it’s nothing in the grand scheme of things but I would need to be medicated. Congrats by the way!!!