Why do men SIT on a ring? It's not like it's gonna hatch.

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: How long did/have you waited on a proposal after the ring was in his possession?
    He proposed the minute he got home from the jewelers. : (61 votes)
    38 %
    I've been waiting 0-3 months. : (72 votes)
    45 %
    I've been waiting 3-6 Months : (7 votes)
    4 %
    I've been waiting 6-12 Months : (15 votes)
    9 %
    I've been waiting over a year. : (6 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    1327 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Agreed, that really confuses me.  Like if you’re serious enough to buy a ring why aren’t you ready to just ask already?  The only good excuses I can think are 1. It’s a family piece, it was passed down to them/gifted to them without them asking, so they are not ready. 2. They’re waiting for a specific date (brithday, holiday, etc).  Other than that I’ve got nothing.

    For the record, FI had my ring all of 2 hours before he proposed.  He clearly doesn’t understand the logic of sitting on it either.

    Post # 4
    1492 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I think some men feel that their SO’s are expecting a really lavish proposal, which causes more stress and money and time to plan.

    Post # 5
    2915 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

    The title of this thread…haha!

    Post # 6
    1666 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    @SomedaymrsWDS:  My FI proposed within a month of getting the ring, so I can’t really help. I will say that sometimes a guy gets nervous about their financial situation. How much the ring costs, how it was paid for, and how much money they have in savings may determine when they actually ask. Weddings can be expensive and they may want to have a financial cushion in place before planning – and they may be under the assumption that planning would start immediately.

    I do think there are a lot of guys who also want to make the proposal special and just don’t know how. They just overthink it and, I think, they put a lot of pressure on themselves to do it “the right way” without realizing there is no right way.

    If you’re concerned you can always ask him about it and see what he says. If either of you want it to be a surprise though, you may be out of luck with that tatic.

    Do you know for sure that your SO is planning to wait a few months or are you just guessing? How old are you both? Do you have a place to live? Do you have some money saved up? Do you have a general idea of when you both want to get married and a general idea for the length of the engagement? Does he generally like trying to surprise you?


    Post # 7
    2042 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @SomedaymrsWDS:  haha DH had my ring hidden for 6 months exactly.  He was waiting to go on vacation.

    Post # 8
    31 posts


    Agreed – I am in a similar position as you are. My SO just bought a ring for me online a week ago. I have no idea when he will decide to give it to me but he has hinted that it will be before summer. So, I got that going for me. Just knowing the ring will be at his place in a week or two is going to make me so antsy!!

    I wish I knew where he is going to hide it…. 😉 Just kidding..

    Post # 9
    1327 posts
    Bumble bee

    LOL, the title of this thread made me giggle. 😛

    I would guess that maybe some freak out about sh*t getting real, maybe some are waiting for a special milestone date… Those would be my main guesses!

    Post # 10
    2576 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @SomedaymrsWDS:  I love the title of this thread – hilarious.

    I’m married, but my DH (SO at the time) had the ring in the house for a couple of weeks before asking b/c I told him he needed to order 3-4 weeks in advance. Then it turned out that it was shipped quicker than 3-4 weeks. He was waiting for our 2 year dating anniversary to ask (7/14) so if I voted, I would pick the “0-3 months” option.

    Post # 11
    7997 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    I wonder about this too!!! I just don’t get it. Like if the girl knows it’s in the house… the surprise is totally taken out of the proposal. A proposal is almost guaranteed to happen. So why wait??

    Post # 14
    2125 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    My SO bought my ring back in July. At that time, we planned on getting married the following summer (2014), but we pushed the wedding back (to 2015) for financial reasons and school. My SO must not know what a long engagement is, because he still has it. Now, he’s waiting for us to go on vacation to propose, which can’t be until Spring. 

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