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If you've had or are having a grooms cake can you please help me out here, I'm really not clear on what the groom's cake is for? I thought the wedding cake was for both the bride and groom, so why is there a separate grooms cake? I've never actually been to a wedding that had this, but I've seen alot of pictures of it and I'm quite confused by it.
I know it's a tradition in the South, so that's why a lot of people have it. I'm considering getting one for FI because he really, really wants a cake shaped like a Tardis (off of a British sci-fi show), and it sure as heck isn't going to be our wedding cake.
I agree with you that the main cake is for both the bride and groom, but sometimes I think there are extra-special circumstances where the groom just really wants something? I always thought they were silly until FI brought up the Tardis cake so I'm not sure that I have a good explanation for it...
The one time I've seen a grooms cake at a wedding was at the rehearsal dinner.
I actually thought it was pretty cool (and VERY tasty). The cake was shaped like a beer keg (not totally wedding appropriate) but it was very cute for the rehearsal dinner setting.
It's a Southern thing [see: Steel Magnolias]
I don't know. It'a a cute idea, but another expense and it seems like a waste of food to me.
We had one because where DH is from the traditional wedding cake is fruitcake and I was not going for fruitcake as the wedding cake so my mom (who makes a kick butt fruitcake) made one for him and had it decorated with a symbol from his job. It was simple but personal and he got to have his own special cake. I have no idea what happened to either the wedding cake or the groom's cake - I hope it all got eaten!
I've never been to a wedding without one. I was surprised to find out that it was a southern tradition because I thought that was the norm (then again, I am from to south).
The grooms cake can be used as a way to show the groom's personality. Plus, since the wedding cake is usually white, the groom's cake can serve as a different option (chocolate). I usually see german chocolate groom's cakes with chocolate covered strawberries on top.
It is definitely a southern thing. It is a chance for the groom to express himself on his big day.
We had one. DH is a die hard OSU fan, so I got a grooms cake made in the shape of the stadium as a fun surprise. We first learned about them when we moved to the south (where we met) and every wedding we went to had one. He really appreciated it and his friends LOVED it. Plus it was a Funfetti cake, so he got his favorite cake flavor on the wedding day =o)
Ah, I had no idea that the groom's cake was a southern tradition either before reading this! Makes sense, as the only wedding I've been to that had one was in GA. At that particular wedding, I got part of the groom's cake rather than the actual wedding cake, and it was tastier!
I didn't know it was a southern tradition either, but the wedding I went to that had one was in NC.
Oh ok thanks for the responses, atleast I know more about it now than I did 10 minutes ago.
I agree with most, I don't really see the need for a groom cake. I guess if the groom makes an issue of it, then it could be justified. Other than that, I see it as just another wedding expense.
FH will have "yours truly" and that "betta" be all the cake he needs! LOL 
I'm planning on surprising FI with a grooms came and we are from New York. The wedding cake will be well... Weddingy so I wanted to have something for him that showed off his personality.
Grooms cakes are still a complete mystery to me.
My partner thinks it's so that there is more cake & flavour variety.
A lot reference it as a southern tradition, but why? where exactly does it come from? I'm all for moist, delicious cakey-goodness but this just leaves me confused most days.
I think they're not necessary, but some of them are a lot of fun. Definitely not for us, though - my groom hates cake (and is having a lot of say in other wedding elements). But I can see the appeal - they're nifty.
I've been to a couple weddings with them.
We're going to have one as a way to actually save money. Wedding cakes are horrendously expensive, but sheet cakes are very cheap in comparison. We're going to have a small, simple 2-3 tier traditional wedding cake and a large sheet cake decorated with one of FI favorite things. I'm undecided if that will be Superman, Batman, Star Trek or the Montreal Canadiens. To make it even more in our budget we're going to pay for the cake using grocery gift cards I've gotten from collecting airmiles.
Whatever I end up choosing as the theme of the grooms cake I'll also be making a garter to match and buying him a wedding day gift of cufflinks in the same theme.
I think groomscakes are so the groom can express himself ( like many other people have said). Traditionally the groom doesnt have much of an opinion during the planning process. If it were up to my FI, we would have a cardinals themed wedding with a batting cage and wiffle ball tournament in the back. Obviously -that will never happen. However, a groomscake at least gives people an idea of what he is interested in ( since it obviously isnt the pink decor and flowers all over the place) :)
We are not doing a groomscake - we are having a 3 tier small cake, 75 cupcakes, AND a s'mores bar so... i think people will get enough sweets.
Tradition.
It was something that DH really looked forward to, and I was happy to oblige. I think in some ways it's a clear way for the groom to have a distinct "him" part in a day that can often focus on the bride
I did a grooms cake but at the rehearsal dinner. It was a fun way to have dessert at the rehearsal and it was a surprise for my husband. Although he actually did pick out everything for our wedding cake so when you think about it he kind of got two cakes -0 but he did a really good job on the wedding cake.
I think Grooms cakes are fun!
I believe it is a way for the groom to get a bit of his personality into the mix. How many men do you know who choose all the feminine romantic touches that usually go hand in hand with a wedding and reception?
The groom usually goes along with whatever the bride wants. I mean, if Jim were planning our wedding, our colors would probably be blue and maize, University of Michigan's colors, and the cake would have have a huge maize colored "M" on it with absolutely no flowers.
A groom's cake allows his special quirks and tastes to be shared with the guests too, without taking away from the "feel" the bride was trying to achieve.
Lol, why? Because you doesn't want more cake! Haha, also it's so traditional where I'm from, I didn't even realize people *didn't* have groom's cakes until I joined weddingbee! But mainly, it's just fun!
Oh, and as for the added wedding expense--the groom's family traditionally pays for the wedding cake, so it's not extra where I'm from! =)
Mine will not be for the wedding, but it will be the dessert at the rehearsal dinner. I am super super excited about it. I am mostly doing it to make my groom feel so special and loved. It's going to be a super surprise for him. I love him so much! It's part of one of my fiance's gifts, straight from my heart. He will love it! Absolutely love it.
Mine is quite sentimental. It's the basketball court of the Indiana Pacers basketball team, complete with team emblems and basketball hoops etc....There will be two balls, a pink one and a regular ball, because we always play basketball together and i have a pink BBall.
I am so excited! I know he will love it:) I didn't mind the extra expense. It's worth it to me. My wedding cake is 375, plus 30 refundable deposit. My grooms cake is only 190:)
I have one of the top bakers in my part of the state:)
I'm from the Midwest, so a Groom's Cake has never been a big thing around here. I personally have never seen one at a wedding. I only recently learned about them through my own wedding process. Thankfully my FI isn't that fond of cake, so no need to splurge on a cake for him. The wedding cake will be good enough! Yay!
I have seen pictures online and think it is a great way to include my FI in the wedding. He has some crazy ideas sometimes and I just have to say no! So at least he can have his own cake.
It is a Southern thing. The reason is this:
Here in the South/Southern Midwest, most weddings don't serve a full dinner. A lot only have peanuts, mints/jordan almonds, punch and cake. Having a groom's cake offers the guests more variety, and also allows you to serve a greater amount of cake (since each guest will be eating more cake b/c there is no meal) without the wedding cake proper having to be HUGE.
While the idea of a "groom's cake" may have originated in the South, it has since evolved into a reference to a "non-traditional" wedding cake that is usually served alongside the "traditional" one.
For us, what many people would call a groom's cake is actually our wedding cake! Our real dessert is a pastry Viennese table, but we still wanted to cut something. So we're having a cake that looks like Fenway Park, we'll whip out our Sox hats, and the song will be "Sweet Caroline" (for the non-Sox fans, that's kind of like the Fenway theme song). This cake won't be served at the reception, it will go back to the kitchen to be cut and served at the post-wedding dinner instead.
I'm all in favor of cakes with character, and what you call it -- besides delicious! -- is just semantics.
I'm from the south, and I've never been to a wedding that didn't have one. It's a fun way to express the groom's personality and to offer a different cake flavor if you don't like the main cake (with the recent popularity of multiple flavors in one cake, this second point is somewhat mute).
I'm having one, it's a small cake, but I know he will love the surprise :)
I thought this article sums it up pretty well, although the under the pillow tradition is crazy
i never realized people didn't do grooms' cakes before i read weddingbee! i guess it is a southern thing.
ours was basic, and just an excuse to have lots of extra chocolate. :)
We didnt have one (even though they are tradition where I am from). We had half our wedding cake left over as is, so i'm really glad we didn't pay for it!
I'm using it as a nice surprise for my FI. He loves Star Wars and keeps joking about incorporating Star Wars into our wedding so I'm having my friend who's doing our cake make him a little Star Wars cake as a cute little compromise.
I think this is interesting to see what different people think about them. In New Orleans it is very rare that you go to a wedding without them. The grooms cake is a present to the groom from the bride. Everyone I have ever seen has been a suprise to the groom and he doesn't know the theme of the cake until the reception.
My cake is not an extra cost. It actually cost less to do the smaller wedding cake and the grooms cake.
I also second the factor that normally southern weddings are not a seated dinner and it is more of apps and deserts. Having the second cake adds to the different types of food that you offer and your traditional grooms cake is chocolate.
I work for a higher profile baker who gets along awesomely with my fiancee. They both like Metal and Punk music and he is totally jazzed for his grooms cake. Since the wedding is going to be 'nice' and really doesn't offer a lot of opportunity for death metal, drum solos, computery things, and weight lifting, which are a lot of his interests, he is taking the task of deciding the Grooms Cake very seriously. And I'm happy he'll have it. I also like the 'fun' it will bring to the wedding, so we don't get too caught up in 'oooh, this is a wedding'. It's a party!
@bells: I think it's just a little surprise for him since so much of the wedding is about the bride. Also, my SO loves chocolate and I am not a big fan so that 's a good flavor option for the guest who will enjoy that. It's a cute/ special touch.
A lot of the wedding is about the bride. So I'll be having a groom's cake for my FI at the rehearsal dinner, allowing the dinner to be a little bit more about him. Plus, it's going to be a surprise and I know he'll love it!
It's kind of a tradition down here. It also gave Hubby something, of his very own, to work on. That was the one thing that I didn't have any say in. I let him have that all to himself.
I have no idea what they are for. We're doing a dessert table anyway.
My grooms mom said she is going to pay for the grooms cake. We are both University of Fl grads so we want to have a gator for our cake. I've only been to one wedding that hasn't had a grooms cake. Having it is helping us out budgetwise because instead of a cake to feed 250 we are only getting a cake to feed 150 and with our grooms cake and ice cream bar I'm sure there will be plenty of dessert choices!
I am from Illinois and I had never even heard of a Grooms Cake until I found wedding bee! I've never been to a wedding where there was one and I don't entirely get it either. Sounds like fun for those who enjoy it though! :]
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