Post # 1
I’ve just always thought this was kind of hilarious.
DH gets asked all the time at work (by customers) if he’s married, and when he says yes, 94% of the time, they’ll respond with “Oh, man, that was a mistake” or “You’re gonna regret that” or “You should never have gotten married, dude”.
I mean, it’s rude (obviously) to tell someone that getting married is a mistake, but it’s also slightly hilarious- seeing as many of the people telling him this are, in fact, married.
Sometimes, he’ll get asked how married life is. “So, what’s it like being married? Sucks, huh?” and he always responds with, “Actually, it’s wonderful. I love being married! My wife rocks!”
It confuses him immensely how so many people seem to hate the idea of marriage/married life, when he is having a grand time himself, LOL.
Even said in jest, I still think it’s inappropriate to tell someone that getting married was a mistake, or that all marriage sucks.
Has anyone else or their DH experienced this kind of reaction about marriage, or have any funny stories?
Post # 3
It’s said by people who aren’t happy in their marriage. Almost every person I know that said that to xDH and I when we first got engaged 20 years ago….are now divorced
People say the same thing to FI – but he brushes it off and says “that’s why I’m 38 and never been married – i”ve waited for the perfect one to come into my life before I spent years being unhappily married….”.
Post # 4
It’s either said by bittter, unhappy people or the ‘bro’ type that hasn’t figured out at 25 (or at 30, or 40 usually) that he’s no longer a frat boy.
Post # 5
Dont let other people’s insecurities and bad experiences undermine what you have. That’s all it is.
Post # 6
@AcheneMalefic: Because people are, on the whole, tacky.
Post # 7
No doubt about it – making the comment is rude. But many of them probably, in some light, see themselves as being helpful – they’re likely many years down the road in marriage. But they are also coming from a biased place; they assume the mistake is marriage. Not necessarily marrying the wrong person, or not having the right skills to make a floundering marriage a better one. So, in assuming that getting hitched in the first place is the problem, they go about doling out that advice.
And part of it’s also just the stereotype. Depending on how they said it, I’d assume most people uttering such a thing were just joking around.
Post # 8
I don’t agree with any of these comments. I think it’s said out of sarcasm or a joke. I am happily married, but a friend of mine is getting married in 3 weeks and I always make jokes about it to her. I think historically through TV and comedies, marriage has always been an easy target.
It’s just life… no one has ever survived it. Lighten up!
Post # 9
If it’s not someone you are joking around with then I think people say it because they are bitter and unhappy in their own relationship.
Post # 10
pisses me off when people say this
Post # 11
@deetroitwhat: I am being very light about it; I find it amusing, as my OP stated. For some, it’s probably just a joke. For others, it’s probably meant seriously.
@Bazinga: That’s the way I look at it, too. It’s fairly obvious if it’s intended as a joke or otherwise, and I don’t think it’s something anyone should say to a complete stranger. If I know you? It’s funny. If I’ve never met you before? It’s really better left unsaid.
The reason I posted is because DH has noticed an influx of these comments, and it throws him off guard because he has to “defend me” to others. As in, someone will be like “Man, wives are b*tches; marriage is a mistake, don’t ever get married…and if you do, boy, you’re in for it.”, and he’ll have to say something to the effect of, “Actually, my wife’s wonderful and I love her..but..okay.” No one that we’ve known (aside from one person) has ever told us marriage was a mistake- it has all been complete strangers.
Post # 12
I really do not know why people do that! It’s very rude and disrepectful to say the least. I am glad you are just shaking it off, if it were me, I would have been freaking pissed. Why do random people have to make such rude comments?! ugh so frustrating!
Post # 13
I would say because they’re not happy with their relationships/decisions/etc
Post # 14
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
I think people sometimes just always have something like that to say, some are unhappy and some are just joking around.
I have people now telling me I need to get married, and I better “get on that” if I ever want to have children cause I’m “not getting any younger” (I’m 29).
I can just see getting engaged then married and having those same people start saying oh no “don’t give up your independence” etc…
LOL – all I can do, I just find it amusing. Then I go on with my own life cause I am perfectly happy with things the way they are and don’t worry about what these people think.
Post # 15
@AcheneMalefic: it’s really starting to bother me. My step sister tells me all the time, “Are you sure you want to get married?, Don’t get married. Marriage is really hard. You’re going to regret it.” She’s married with 4 kids. It’s silly for people to say that. Not everyone has the same relationship once you’re married. If it not working out for them, then that’s on them.