Why do people think the RSVP is optional?!?! *vent*

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
10906 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@TGold:  I think the answer to your question relates to exactly what you said at the end of your post.  Most people who do not bother to RSVP are “self involved” — they either are distracted by other things in their lives, and the invitation to your event simply has fallen off their radar screens, OR they are very well aware that they need to give you an answer but aren’t yet ready to commit (even though the RSVP deadline has passed), because they don’t yet know if they’ll feel like attending/might be too tired/might have the opportunity to do something more exciting instead, etc. 

Post # 4
6457 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Sorry you feel that way about the declines :/ TBH when my friends get engaged after that long I call to congratulate them but I don’t really feel the need to celebrate them being engaged. I also probably wouldn’t travel somewhere for an engagement party. I mean we will be celebrating their marriage soon enough. I would worry more about the wedding than the engagement party.

As far as the people who haven’t responded, it’s definitely not rude for your FI to call them. Maybe his parents could call?

Post # 5
42166 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If yesterday was the RSVP date, there still may be some in the mail.

I would give them another few days for the mail to arrive, then somebody should start phoning. People who ignore a written invitation will also easily ignore an email.

Remember this when it comes time to teach manners to your children, if you have any.

ETA (children, that is.)

Post # 6
2630 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@julies1949:  I know you didn’t mean it this way, but I laughed so hard at interpreting your last statement as, “Remember this when it comes time to teach manners…if you have any.”

@TGold:  I don’t understand this either. Maybe it’s because we’re much too mild about it on our invitations with “please” and “kindly” tagged on to requests to respond. The next time I have an event that warrants invitations, I’m going to tell people to “freaking respond by the date especially since I stamped it for you and everything you lazy bastards” and that people who don’t respond in time will be cut off from our lives forever. Even then, I’d only expect a slight increase in timely returns.

Post # 8
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@TGold:  FI and I had our engagement party two months ago…I had to chase down nearly every single person we invited (about 30). I was nice about it, always, but definitely had to stay on them for a dang yes or no. Not looking forward to when I send out the wedding invites to say the least, lol

Unfortunately, it seems to come with the territory. For people that have no hiccups in RSVP’s my god you’re lucky! 

Post # 9
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Unfortunately, some people seem to think the same thing for wedding invites as well! We had to follow up with tons of people who didn’t RSVP.

Post # 10
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I understand, I’ve been waiting for my wedding RSVP’s and I sent them out a few weeks ago the deadline is the 17th and I’ve received…maybe 5…

Post # 11
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Some people think that they don’t have to. We had to track down a few people and one of them said, “Oh, I can’t you. You know that I go to [x] every year on that weekend.” Uh, no, we didn’t know that, but that’s why there’s a NO option on the RSVP.

Post # 12
565 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think people hesitate to RSVP because they want the option of not attending at the last minute. Say they wake up and just don’t feel like getting dressed up that day. Or someone calls with better plans. Selfish, but I think that’s what happens. 

Post # 13
1952 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@neetaclaw11:  No hiccups with RSVPs? Impossible!

Unfortunately you’re not alone in this. A lot of people never RSVP because they think they don’t have to. “You KNOW we’re coming, why ask?” Because you could say no, even if you’re saying yes right now. It’s called thinking ahead. If I had a dollar for everytime I’ve had to chase up an RSVP (weddings, birthdays, other events), I’d be a millionaire, let me tell you!

Post # 15
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We had people not responding to RSVPs at first, but we were also very fortunate to have my MIL who seemed perfectly cheery to do the chasing down for us and had answers for nearly everybody within a couple of days.

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