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I dont understand why people have to be so rude and hatefull towards promise rings or pre engagement rings. I respect if you dont like them or if you would not wear one but you dont need to tell someone who is happy to have one that they are pointless. You may have something that means a lot to you that I may not understand and I would never tell you I think its stupid. I think it is so disrespectful... >_<
Agreed. I don't necessarily get the point of them (I understand the reasoning behind them, it just isn't my thing), but hey, if it makes you happy, go for it!
Is this in regards to the replies to your other post or regarding reactions you get in real life?
I don't get why anyone would care about someone else's anything. I wouldn't want half the things people post for me, bit I can be happy for someone if it makes her happy!
@redheadem: I have had a few people say things on here but I dont think anything of it cause it wasn't in a rude mannor. No one in my personal life has said anything as well. I have read other things online about promise rings and I was shocked of the responses some people were saying to another. Its just frustrating.
@eeerika22: Maybe they're jealous. But jealousy doesn't give them any right to be rude or disrespectful.
I'm sorry to hear someone has upset you *hugs*. Unfortunately some people have no manners and some people speak without thinking. I think a promise ring can be very speacial and at the end of the day it is what it means to you that matters. Don't let tactless people get you down. You have someone who loves you enough to give that to you, that is more than a lot of people can say.
I don't know, I say do you, whatever works! People probably don't understand since it's not traditional. But I would not ask for opinions if you're nervous about what others will say.
People just have their own ideas of how things are supposed to go, and when it's appropriate to give a symbol of events, etc. I, for one, am in the group that doesn't understand promise/pre-engagement rings. I feel they are stalling with a stand-in for the real thing. But that's just MY opinion.
I get where you are coming from though. I've mentioned to people that we will be engaged for 3 ish years once it happens, and they look at me like I have three heads. "Well what's the point of the engagement if you're not planning a wedding for next year?" Uhm...riiight.
I think what people wear as jewelry and what meaning it has is up to the person wearing it. There are no rules about what jewelery you can wear when, where, and for what reason, nor does it effect anyone else anyway.
I have a "promise" ring that I have always worn on my right hand and I will continue to wear even after I am married. For us it wasn't a "stand in" engagement ring (we were not even close to considering marriage seriously yet), it was more like a symbol of where our relationship was at the time and it means a lot to both of us.
It's weird, but I think it's because it is a ring that so many women have such a problem with it. If it were a "promise necklace" they'd be fine with that, but they seem to think that giving rings is reserved for when you're actually engaged or married. It's silly.
@pharmy: yeah and I respect you for feeling that way. You told me your opinion and you didnt say things like "pointless" or "stupid" "waste of time" I can def relate to you when you tell people about your plans on getting married. You dont HAVE to get engaged then get married within the year.
@DeathByDesign: I agree and I think its so wonderful that you feel the same way with the meaning. When the day comes when I get my E ring I dont want to every stop wearing my pre engagement ring either. It just means so much and im happyy you were able to find the same happiness as I do :)
THEY'RE HAAAAATERS. I don't personally "get them" only because i've never had one , probably. But, I have a friend that LAUGHS at them. She thinks they are a "fake engagement" ring and she thinks that basically people are trying to SEEM more serious than they actually are. I think that's so ruuuude and judgemental. We don't know what goes on in other relationships so we can never judge anything. And if someone is so in love that they get their girl a promise ring....that's a good thing, not a bad thing.
People will never be happy when their jealous.
I don't hate them or think they're stupid (like a PP said, extra jewelry!) but at least from my anecdotal experience with them I've known maybe a dozen or so girls who have been given designated "promise rings" and exactly zero of them are still with their promise-ring-givers. I think thats why the terms "juvenile" and "pointless" may be associated with them.
@pharmy: I can see your point about promise rings and stalling but I think this is not always the way. My SO proposed with a promise ring i.e. a small diamond ring for me to wear while we were shopping for an engagement ring for me. His reasoning for this was that he wanted me to be part of choosing my ring and he wanted to surprise me with the proposal but didn't want to do it empty handed. I had my "pre-engagement ring" as you call it for about 6 weeks until we found the ring we both fell in love with. It's perhaps not the traditional way of doing things but it was perfect for us.
I do however have a friend who has been with her guy for 6+ years, have a 5 year old daughter together, and she has been wearing a promise ring for 3 years now. They are in their mid 30s and have good jobs so it's not like he couldn't afford to make it official. That I think is stalling....
Sorry that people are mean or judgemental towards your promise ring! (assuming this post is because you have experienced this about your promise ring). I wore a ring FI gave me for our first xmas together, five months after we started dating. We both knew we wanted to move towards marriage, but were not there yet. I was 20 and he was 21 and in our opinion, we didn't have any business getting married any time soon (not to mention we were still in college). I wore that ring--which was symbol of our relationship and was special to me for that reason, though never really called a 'promise ring'-- until the day he proposed to me just shy if five years later. No one ever said anything about it, other than asking me who gave it to me, telling me it was lovely, or saying it was sweet.
Sorry you're getting negative comments :( so unfair and rude
I admit I don't quite understand the purpose of them (seems like mostly teens have them), but I would never disparage someone for wearing one. Do what makes you happy!
Because people like to say hurtful things to make themselves feel better about themselves!!
@akp0702: I think thats awesome!
Thank you everyone for all of your encouraging words and positive views! I am so happy and excited with the PE ring my bf just got me and I was a little taken back with the negative comments. But now I feel better :)
I don't understand why anyone has to be rude about anything, but people are rude in general and it's sad. I don't quite understand the pre-engagement ring concept in some situations, but it isn't my business so I compliment them and move on. In other situations, I think they're sweet.
I think rings for any occasion is fine. A ring can symbolise whatever you want it to! don't listen to the haters.
when I was in college, I had a serious boyfriend. we were so in love, we figured we'd be engaged one day, but it was definitely too soon and we felt to young to be engaged. for our one year anniversary, I bought us matching plain silver bands. they were like commitment rings to us. we wore them on our right ring fingers. where did I get this idea from? nowhere. I made it up. but he really loved the idea and it was special to us. if anybody thought what we did was weird, well, I didn't care what they thought!
Having grown up in England, I hadn't even heard of a promise ring until I moved to North America, but regardless of whether someone likes the idea of them or not, any kind-hearted, polite person would refrain from expressing judgement that they know may be hurtful to the other person, especially when the matter does not concern or affect them in any way. Try not to worry about it. What people think is really not your problem, but rather theirs.
People are just SUUUUUUUUUUUPER quick to judge things that they don't understand or care for. It's unfortunate but you have to just ignore the negative comments. The only thing that keeps me sane is IGNORING lol. I think it's really sweet and I have a ring I wear on my right hand that was considered a promise ring when ti was given to me...it is just a symbol of my SO's love to me and I cherish it :) Like a PP said...it's extra jewelry how can it be a bad thing? hahaha. AGREED.
I wore one and loved it! No negative comments for years of me wearing it, Im sorry that you didnt get the same experience, best of luck!
I got some snarky comments but both were from people who were in crappy relationship or single and miserable so I didn't pay them any mind. I got my promise ring in high school and obviously we weren't ready for marriage but were still committed
@eeerika22: Well my first question would be, how old are you? If you're quite young, people make think you're being silly because you're not in a position to make a real, lifelong commitment to be married, so you're just wearing a ring in order to take your relationship to the next level...without really taking it to the next level. Additionally, many people don't take promise rings seriously because, well, fact is (far more often than not) they just don't amount to anything in the long run. Just helping shed some light here.
That being said, if you have a promise ring, wear it proudly. Who cares what anyone else thinks?
Maybe they're jealous
of a promise ring? why? ive not met anyone that had one of these to be honest, if i did i guess my thoughts would be why bother but i would also keep that thought to myself unless the person made a ridiculous big deal about it. interesting - i'll have to ask my 18yr niece if its the done thing in her age group of friends
Well I straight up said on your thread, I don't get the point of them. I don't! Does that mean I think they are stupid or that no one should wear them, no. It's the internet, there are a lot of opinions flying around, take what you need, ignore what you don't. Surely other people wear things you might not prefer? The world would be pretty boring if we all liked the same things.
I guess I don't really understand the point of a promise ring that looks like an engagement ring. How is this ring going to look different from an e ring? Why get a diamond ring as a promise ring?
I'm just trying to understand the difference.
I only get the concept of a promise ring if there is going to be a long time prior to an engagement AND if the couple doesn't go around advertising that it's a promise ring. I really don't get the purpose of a pre-engagement ring, especially if somebody already has a promise ring. I feel like if you're too far into your relationship to feel that a promise ring is appropriate or if you already have one, having a pre-engagement ring (especially one that is actually meant to be an engagement ring) is kind of odd. Why not just wait for the engagement?
I say this as somebody who has had a promise ring for the last 3.5 years. However, I was 17 when I got it and obviously a long time away from being engaged and I didn't go around advertising it.
Wow ..ignore them..I am getting married in a few mths and still do not have the ring...I actually just changed the ring I was getting. So...I am engaged WITHOUT a ring and people are equally nasty ( I am learning to ignore them). It is between you and your SO. It is a committment that you two are making to each other. Acutally I got a promise necklace (lol) and I proudly wore it....makes people crazy when they hear promise necklace but then I am learning to get a kick out of what people think lol. Enjoy your life dearie....as long as you are happy and you both have plans for the future
@MrsSl82be: Mine is one of those that is engagement ring style, though mine has a pink sapphire center. It will be different than my engagement ring because the plan is for my engagement ring to have a pink diamond center stone.
I get that its unusual for a promise ring to be of similar quality to an engagement, but SO and I are jewelry lovers. He didn't see the point of getting me something less detailed, or whateveryou'd call it.
To give some feedback on the whole promise ring thing, my SO likes buying me jewelry. He has bought me a number of rings, this one was different because when he gave it to me he let me know that this was the last one he was going to buy me before the "big" one.
He brought up marriage and this ring was what marked the occasion, because he knows that I'm a sentimental fool. There's no stalling involved.
@eeerika22: OP, your relationship isn't stupid, so neither is your ring. DO NOT let anyone hurt you over this. Your relationship and the steps you take in it are yours and yours alone. What may work for you might not work for someone else. I just looked at your ring and its beautiful. I cant wait to see your engagement ring!
@eeniebeans: LOVE this!
Thank you again everyone for your feedback. I really think it's great for all the honest answers and opinions without having the rudeness involved. Just so everyone knows I am 21 years old and I have been with my SO for over 3 years now. he is 25. The ring he just got me is a special pre engagement ring because the one he previously got me doesn't fit me anymore due to medication I have to take. He knew I was sad about it cause I didn't have a ring anymore and also because I have been wanting to get engaged. He thought this would be perfect cause its serious as well as he's not ready to get engaged but he knows he wants to spend the rest of his life with me.
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