why do you have kids or why do you not have kids?

posted 2 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
653 posts
Busy bee

Biologically, it is safer for you to have a child sooner rather than later.  But if you’re not ready you’re not ready.  I think you should listen to your body and yourself instead of others.  Also- why are you thinking of yoru DH dying?? Is he in poor health?  I’m only 24 but my DH is 37 almost 38 and we want kids next year. 

Post # 4
Member
2580 posts
Sugar bee

We do not want to have kids for several reasons

We are not kid people

Fiance has a job where he is gone for 2 weeks at a time so he is home very little, not very condusive to having children

We like to travel and do it frequently so with kids it would not happen as often due to cost

We enjoy having surplus cash that we can spend on ourselves

I could not imagine not having a minute to myself, not being able to have some quiet when I want it, not being able to just be alone if I want

Honestly we would not have as good of a relationship if we had the stresses of a child, We have quite a stress free lifestyle because it is just the two of us

We are kind of selfish and enjoy that it is just us ( fur babies too)

Everyone is different with a unique set of expectations of their life, ours just happens to include no children.

 

Post # 6
Member
653 posts
Busy bee

gpiglet:  tell your family to mind their own. Adoption is a wonderful option. I was adopted. It’s not like adopting a cat or dog. your family sounds wonderful.

Post # 7
Member
5032 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

We’re CBC.  For many reasons, including the following. . 

We’re too selfish

We like our free time

We love to sleep

We don’t have a lot of patience

We like our disposable income

I never, ever, ever pictured myself with kids.  That Baby Alive doll I got when I was 8 killed the dream.  

 

Post # 8
Member
2013 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

 

gpiglet:  It’s also natural, men typically die first. I think about this quite often and I’m always surprised when women are shocked by the idea.

My SO and I are moving towards getting engaged and married, I’m 27 and he’s 29. We aren’t on the baby bus currently and I’m on the fence about them in the future. He’s on the fence as well which makes the decision harder. We travel about as often as possible, this year we took off about a month of work for vacations. With children it would add stress and cost to our relationship. Most of our conversations that I love and enjoy would shift to topics of the child and the childs activities. We love to stay out late and sleep in and we both enjoy our quiet/alone time. The older I get the less enthusiastic I am about children.

I worry sometimes about the baby bug or the bio clock beginning to tick at 30. I worry more about making the decision and regretting it or losing my partner from the stress or changes that come with baby. I worry about being alone when I’m old but my grandma’s still decent looking and she’s dating so there might be another round if my future hubby keels over dead early 😉

Good luck to you, I’d wait but it’s a scary road being pregnant and “older” than 35. Everything you read will scare the shit out of you.

Post # 10
Member
86 posts
Worker bee

Right now anyways, I don’t want children. I’m 22 and FI will be 25 in a few days. I still havent decided whether I want kids or not because I do have a lot of time to decide but right now I can’t picture my life with a child.  It just seems so stressful, not to mention expensive.  FI has many many child cousins in his family and I just can’t see myself happily living with all that chaos and rambunctiousness. its up to YOU and DH… don’t listen to other people. Its your life, do what makes YOU happy!!

Post # 11
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

MrsPierce2014:  Jeebus! I am adopted and so is my sister and I am trying vainly not to be hugely, rabidly insulted by the comparison to adopting a cat or dog. 

gpiglet:  Having said that, I have three adopted dogs whom I adore but I have absolutely no desire to have children. 

Post # 12
Member
6866 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Personally I wouldn’t TTC with someone who cares so little for their own health. A bottle of liquor a night? I’m sorry but that’s not normal…

Post # 15
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

gpiglet:  given your age, of course sooner rather than later is best but don’t let that be your deciding factor. You should have a kid when you are both ready for it. 

And definitely travel. I made it a point to travel somewhere every year so that when the time came for TTC we would have no regrets.

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors