Why Do You Think It's Okay to Put Down Young Brides?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@MrsSkeletonKey:  I’m not sure which threads you are talking about, but if people ask for opinions then they are going to get them (and there is no guarantee they will like them). If you are confident in your decision, then who cares what a bunch of internet strangers think? I am youngish (26) and I wouldn’t have gotten married any younger. That is my personal preference and belief but I could really care less what other people do.

Post # 5
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@MrsSkeletonKey:  If you find a comment offensive, I suggest you flag it for a mod to view. Otherwise, if you are as happy as you say you are, then I’d just ignore the opinions of strangers. Not everyone has to be nice to everyone else – it isn’t a requirement in life to be pleasant. Just like real life, sometimes people say rude things online. I’d take it for what it’s worth – nothing. They don’t know you so let them judge all they want. You’re the one living your life and that’s all that matters.

Post # 6
Member
8593 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@MrsPanda99:  +1

I mostly see threads with young brides asking “Why do people thing X age is too young?”  “People keep saying I’m ‘too young,'” “Is 22 too young to get married?”

They are obviously looking for opinions or validation.  Then they get opinions and don’t like them.

If you need to start a thread to purposefully validate your choices it’s pretty clear that you aren’t ready.  Someone that is okay with their choices doesn’t need to start a thread about it.

Now I get what you’re saying.  BUT, people say rude things on lots of threads….it’s what comes along with posting on the internetz.  The older you get, the less you care about what others think.  If you’re confident and mature, you won’t let other people bother you.

Post # 8
Member
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@MrsSkeletonKey:  I don’t see the value of this thread and it has nothing to do with age but everything to do with the fact that it will stir people up.

If you take issue with people’s comments, take them up with those people directly. Don’t start a thread to rehash comments you don’t like.

 

Post # 9
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

I know that some people seem to have comments about young brides too.

I shrug it off personally and just have to assume that they don’t know many success stories of young brides.  My parents were married VERY young (mom was 18) and my parents are still kickin it!  Sometimes…too much! 

Post # 10
Member
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Everyone is welcome to their opinion, everyone is welcome to share their opinion.

There are many topics in life that are going to be polarizing: young marriages, quick marriages, when you have kids, how you raise your kids, politics, relgion etc.  

There are definitely things on here and elsewhere that I don’t agree with but choose not to voice my opinion most of the time, others don’t feel the need to stay quiet and are going to say what’s on their mind.  Life would be boring if everyone agreed about everything.  If you can’t handle hearing an opinion that is not in agreement with your own feelings, I suggest you stay off the internet and never leave your home.

Post # 11
Member
1468 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

If you’re secure you shouldn’t care what others say about young brides.  I certainly didn’t care what people said about old maids before I finally got married.  Especially when those people are complete and total strangers.

 

Post # 12
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@pixiecat:  This made me laugh: I suggest you stay off the internet and never leave your home.

Post # 13
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Because the goverment shut down, I can’t access the census reports, but there is legitimate data where the divorce rate is increased for people who marry at a younger age (I believe it’s under 25, but I can’t fact check right now). Add that to data that we have showing that brain development is not complete until the age of 25-26, and there’s scientific evidence to support a benefit in waiting to get married.

I think that many women here also speak from experience. If I had married the man I was with at 18, or 20, or 22, I would have been radically unhappy. I changed so much between the ages of 18 and 25, and I didn’t really know who I was or what I wanted until a few years ago.

That’s not to say that every marriage between young people is doomed. I know plenty of people who married young and they’re very happy together. I think that only you know your own situation, and you’re at an age where you can make your own decisions. However, I do believe in the majority of cases, getting married extremely young adds extra stress and strain to a marriage.

Post # 14
Member
4760 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsSkeletonKey:  I have never needed anybody to validate my decision to marry. I am 21, married, & live a great life. I made the right decision for me & could give a shit if somebody has a bone to pick with me about it.

Say what you want but you just started a whole thread stating the opposite…

Post # 15
Member
6510 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@OctBride-2012:  +1

I just shrug it off every time. It really doesn’t bother me because like you said, they don’t know me. 

Post # 16
Member
825 posts
Busy bee

The internet, even places as awesome as the Bee, can be not so fun no matter what. You’ll find so many more people who are supportive of what you do, they’re just not as vocal as the ones who aren’t.

  • If you get married under 23 you’re too young.
  • If you get pregnant over 40 you’re too old.
  • If you have a cash bar it’s tacky.
  • If you have a honeymoon registry it’s trashy. 
  • If you have more than three registries of any kind it’s in poor etiquette.
  • If you have a moissy it’s because you want a fake diamond/couldn’t afford an actual diamond.
  • If you have a diamond it’s because you are a spendthrift who wants to flaunt their wealth on their finger.

You can’t please everyone all the time in life, on the internet, or on this board. I saw your thread about your wedding and it. was. gorgeous and some people were saying that it was the favorite wedding that they’d seen recapped on the Bee. I’d focus on those comments rather than zeroing in on one thing. If you’re confident in your decision to marry at the age you did, own it, and use your wisdom to inform others on the Bee.

 

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