(Closed) why do you think she is acting like this?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2006 posts
Buzzing bee

When I had a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress hemmed and taken out for my sister’s wedding it cost $100, so the pricing isn’t unreasonable.

Post # 4
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I really don’t think Sandals v Open toed shoes are that serious, no one is going to look at their feet.

Post # 6
179 posts
Blushing bee

Honestly people won’t be noticing the shoes too much and it won’t make much of a difference in the pictures. However, I do understand why you are frustrated b/c you did specifically say you wanted your BM’s to wear sandals and she went out and bought something else.

There’s not much you can do and you shouldn’t put a friendship in jeopardy over a pair of shoes (or how she’s doing alterations). It’s her perogative that she doesn’t feel the need to get the dress taken out and it is now up to her to make sure the dress fits on the wedding day. Just spend time worrying about all the other things you need to take care of. 🙂

Post # 7
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

From a girl who has NEVER found any sort of strappy sandal comfortable, I understand why she may have wanted an open toe.  I would have asked my bride if it was ok… 

Since everyone is wearing different shoes, it really WON’T be that big of a deal.  Just remind her that everyone else is doing sandals and drop it.  It’s not worth arguing over!  If you can’t let it go, go shopping with her and pick something out together.

And, don’t let the fact that she’s not getting her hair done with everyone bug you.  She’ll meet up with all of you in due time and you can enjoy her company then.

It’s not a slight on you – she’s just doing her own thing.

And, all the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses I’ve had altered have run me $100+, so that sounds about right.  It costs a lot to have the seams taken in or out.

Please don’t forget it does cost a lot of money in general to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man (money that is really being spent on something for you).

Post # 8
435 posts
Helper bee

I understand being upset but I think open toed shoes are pretty much sandals.  I’m sure it will look fine.

Post # 9
1545 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

oh man she sounds like she is being difficult!! hello you are the bride. if she knew that she wouldnt be able to afford all the little extras than she should have declined at the beginning when you ask her to be a bridesmaid. I have been a bridesmaid like a gallzion times. It isnt something cheap so before I said Yes i made sure that i would be able to save money to pay for a dress any alterations shoes hair makeup and nails. When i have been in wedding i respect the brides wishes. you werent asking for much just strappy sandals and she couldnt afford the alterations but those open toes shoes sound pricey! they are from Italy? mmm ok.

i Totally understand where you are coming from i would be upset too. **hugs**

Post # 10
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Alterations are expensive, especially when it comes to letting a dress out.  And I’m sorry did I miss the memo where open toed heels and sandal-like heels are two different things?  I must have…

Post # 12
852 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m confused, what’s the difference between open toed shoes and sandals?  Do you mean open toe, as it’s like a peep toe pump? I’m so lost.

Post # 13
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

First, alterations are actually that expensive. It’s stupid and I think a lot of times they jack up the price if it’s a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress, but that is a common amount. I’ve spent more than that on minor alterations. It sucks. As for the shoes, meh. It’s annoying, yes, that she didn’t really listen to you (but open toe and sandal is really not THAT big a difference, especially since you said they are going to be all different shoes anyway) but at the end of the day, it’s shoes. Nobody but you will notice and ultimately the only pictures that matter from your wedding day are you and your hubby. I’ve never ever seen anyone display pro pics of themself and their BMs in their home.

I do, however, think you should reread this sentence you wrote:

if she would stop going out everyday to drink and have dinners maybe she would be able to afford some alterations and dont jeopardize my wedding day!

Maybe it’s wedding stress since you’re getting really close but that makes you sound a wee bit crazy.

Post # 14
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think Kittyachi Nailed It. You are dragging way too many little things out of perportion. Forget about it. Yes it’s kind of annoying. But who cares. Their shoes. Opened toed are sandles. No they aren’t strappy; but at least it’s not a leather stilleto. Yes alterations are pretty expensive. If you havn’t seen the dress then you can’t really say if it’s too tight or not. Things could always be worse. Way worse. Take some breaths and avoid her for a couple days! You’ll be fine!

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