- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
To those of you involved in the e-ring budget or selection, why did/do you want a big e-ring? I can think of 2 reasons, but I'd love to hear more.
1) we already have a house, good retirement, etc. and we can afford it
2) I'm wearing this the rest of my life, and we will just splurge now and catch up on the rest later.
Am I overly simplifying? My ring cost less than the "2 months" salary, but we figure we can add diamonds to my plain w-band later if we want. Right now we are more concerned with paying off the last 1/4 of my student loan (way early!), remodeling our house and saving up for emergencies & babies! We both, as individuals, make more than the average household in our area, but I still often see bling way bigger than mine when we are out and about!
Interesting question, I'm glad you started this topic since I'm also wondering. We opted for simple rings for many reasons:
- I never want to take my rings off and we have a very, very active lifestyle, so I don't want a huge rock in the way
- big rings do not look good once on my fingers, even if I had liked them - good thing I don't
- we would rather finish paying for the house, save for travel and for the babies eventually - we too, make good salaries, but it was a choice that we do not regret.
So, I am not answering your question at all, but can't wait to see other bees take on this. :)
I am interested to know too!
I also opted for the a smaller ring mainly due to cost and I wanted a low setting as I am very active and have to wear gloves in my lab and didn't want the ring to break through the gloves daily but still wanted to wear it daily!
Big ring gals - do you get used to how high it sits off your finger?
i really didn't have a stipulation with regards to ring size. i simply told my FI that i'd prefer quality over the size of the diamond. i didn't want to put pressure on him and i had no idea what his budget was. all that said, he outdid himself and went waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay beyond any expectations. my ring is 3 stone and absolutely breathtaking. he really did a lot of research and all of the stones are d color and the center stone is flawless. the sidestones are both vvs1. he was so excited to tell me all about the depth and the table size...anyway, he explained the extravagance well. he told me that he hopes this ring will be in our family forever and that one day i will pass it on to daughters. he also said that he rarely buys me jewelry but that he wanted to show me he can "step it up" for important occasions. i would have loved my ring regardless...it came from him afterall!!
@futuremrsmartin -- we got engaged in june and i have since adjusted. at first it felt kind of strange and i would knock it on everything. now it's fine but i definitely notice whenever i have to take it off!!
Awe!!!!!
That is the sweetest sentiment!!!!!!!!!!! What a sweet FI!!!!!
My ring is not what I would consider "huge" at all with regards to the stone (it is a 1.01 ct princess cut solitare) not sure what the tw is with my diamonds in the band....
But my ring does sit VERY high, its not a cathedral setting b/c the band doesn't arch up, but the diamond sits much higher then the band, so needless to say it took some getting used to. I have scratched myself (esp my face somehow) with the ring, and knocked it on many objects & scratched other people, oops!
Even through all that though, I LOVE how high it sits. My FI knew I wanted the diamond to sit up and although I didn't realize that it was going to be somewhat of a pain, I wouldn't go back and change anything :)
@lovebuzz- too cute! My fi said a similar thing. My stone isn't huge (1 ct cushion cut in a platinum pave setting) but the ring was still more money then I expected him to spend because the quality is so high and bc of the platinum. He just told me that this was the first piece of jewelry he's ever bought me and when he's doing something like that he's going to do it right. Plus (being an accountant) he told me that it was a good investment because jewelry doesn't lose its value and if I figured out the cost per day of wearing it over a lifetime it was really not a huge expense hehe.
@corgitales -- isn't that the best?? mine's platinum too. i was just blown away. all i wanted was the guy but i got the guy and more of a ring than i ever expected! i feel very lucky and very very much in love!!
I don't wear rings at all so my e-ring and wedding band will be the only rings I ever wear so I wanted something spectacular. When my FI asked me what my dream ring was I thought he was joking around since this was about 2 to 3 weeks after we met. So of course I described a big jeweled baby never thinking in a million years that he would get it...but of course he did =)
My reasons for wanting something spectacular:
1. We are both established and I know he wouldn't have to go in debt or clean out his savings to purchase 1
2. We have all of the houses we want or need so we don't have to worry about saving up for that.
3. I don't plan on ever upgrading/changing my rings. The ones I have will be it so I wanted them to be...well...spectacular =)
The FI doesn't want me to post any pics of the ring (he thinks a burglar may find it on the boards and swoop in for the kill...he's so silly). Once the ring and I are safely under the same roof with him I can post away =) ...he also go a matching band. He made some design changes to the one on the link but that's basically it.
I honestly don't know what size I'm going to be comfortable with, actually. I haven't gone to try them on, but I guess because I'm so used to seeing big rings, anything super small would make me a little sad... of course, that could change once it's on my hand. I might not want a big stone at all!
My ring was his grandmothers...its not huge...its a 3 stone ring and while size wise it is small (especially in comparsion with other peoples) It is pretty much perfect in quality and its so unique. the diamonds are hand cut and the setting is something you dont see anymore either. I have never been the girl that said "i want this type of ring of this size diamond" so when he put this gorgeous ring on my finger all I could say was "its perfect" i would never want anything else.
I never thought I wanted a big ring... but I received one and I LOVE IT! It's cushion cut paved. I mean, I am going to have this ring forever!
And it is SUPOSSED to be 2 months salary.... and the average American makes 30000 a year right? So that would make the average ring $5000. So why don't we all have bigger rings!
What do you mean when you say huge? How many carats do you consider huge? Or are you more talking about how much the ring costs?
Interesting post. I actually didn't want a big ring. I don't wear much jewelry and I'm kind of a klutz so I wanted something simple. I honestly don't know what mine is - it's princess cut and has side stones (I dunno what they're called, they're little & round) but it's insured that's really all I was worried about Hah! Plus, I told him if he spent more than $8k for it I'd kill him - I'd rather use the money for something else, and I'll probably only wear the e-ring on special occasions & wear the band everyday.
Funny story - my Dad proposed to my Mom with a huge ring. She cried & said of course she'd marry him, but she's not lugging that thing around the rest of her life. They returned the ring for something smaller & she used the money to pay for their honeymoon. My Mom's ring is my dream ring - I absolutely LOVE it.
@Jacqi...I consider anything over 1 carat for a solitaire or 2 carats for a 3 stone ring...huge. Of course it also depends on the size of your hand. A 1 carat can look like an ice-skating rink on smaller hands and an ice cube on others =)
@Miss Pizzelle...had my FI spent 2 months of his hard-earned salary on my ring I would have beat him to death with a wet noodle. I definitely think that figure should be used as a guide and not a rule. It definitely should depend on each individual's salary and what they personally can afford.
I have a 2 carat blue sapphire with 0.7 (total of 1.4) carats of crescent cut diamonds on either side. I wanted a sapphire, so I knew I could get a much bigger stone for the money. The side stones were FI's idea, not mine. I love my ring, but it has taken me a while to get used to, and I feel like it is so prominant on my small hands, finding a wedding band will be hard. To the question now.
Reasons for the size:
- it really looks amazing
- now no one asks me if we couldn't afford a diamond e-ring, I got that a lot pre-ring when I told people I wanted the sapphire
- we are financially set
- it is something I will be proud of my whole life
- finally, this may sound weird, but my dad scrimped and saved for my mom's ring, and his sacrifice is part of the lore of their relationship. Although I'm not a big jewelry person, there was a family background for a special e-ring. I think the bit of sacrifice has always been a big deal to my mom.
My ring was well under five figures, but it is just ostentatious enough for me to feel like I got spoiled, and I've got to tell you...that is a good feeling. 
@monitajb- that is such a good way to put it! I feel bad for feeling this way... but I do kind of feel proud of how hard my guy worked to buy me this ring. He paid about 2 months salary pre-tax which means it was NOT easy to for him to just whip out a checkbook and get it. When I look at it I think about how hard he worked to get something he knew I would love.
@ CorgiTales - I know what you mean! I don't know if you'd consider my ring huge, it's a 1 carat princess cut with side stones, but it definitely catches my eye! It means so much to me and everytime I look at it, I'm so thankful for it because he worked so hard to be able to purchase it. I catch him looking at it on my hand from time to time and I know that he's very proud of it. There's a great deal of sentiment behind it!
@nurselindsay- i dont even know what i think is huge. my ring is 1 ct on a pave band... i'm sure that is huge to some people and tiny to others. i think it looks rather stunning on my hand though :)
My ring's center stone is just under 1 carat and I LOVE it! I never wanted/expected anything bigger. My sister's ring is a 3 carat marquise solitaire (family heirloom) and it looks gigantic on her hand. I think hers is really pretty, but I would worry about it calling attention. I would also feel a lot of pressure knowing I had that much money on my finger! She flips it around a lot so just the band is showing because she lives in Miami and my grandmother scared her with this story: an elderly woman in her neighborhood years ago was mugged and the thieves cut off her ring finger just for her ring. YIKES! (However, that same grandma has a 2 ct sparkler, so she must not be THAT worried!) :)
I purposely didn't define huge. Honestly, I don't usually care about comparing myself to others, and I have a lovely ring, but I can't help but admit I see so many rings that seem like they cost over, let's just say $10K (we didn't like in an expensive city like NYC) or rings that are easily over 1.5 ct center stone solitaire! ...and I guess I'm just surprised, that's all. Maybe my perspective is off, since I wear a size 7 or a little bigger band, so all these petite lil things seem to have huge rocks! I wonder if some of them that is their 2nd ring? (as in, not the one they got as young engaged couples...)
FI and I went ring shopping a few times together. At first I thought i wanted at least a carat, but I am active and will wear this ring every day for the rest of my life, so I didn't want something set too high.
I ended up with a .63 carat flawless center stone, with two princess cut side stones and smaller pave set diamonds in the band. I LOVE it and would not want a bigger stone.
But to be honest, if I had known more about alternative engagement rings, I would have probably saved a boatload of money and gone with something a little different, like the one below. I mean I LOVE my ring and treasure it, however it was a lot of money and jewelry really isn't a priority for me. I definitely don't need a flashy diamond on my hand to be as committed as ever to my FI.
alt_ring.jpg (22.4 KB, 62 downloads) 2 years old ring.JPG (12.4 KB, 64 downloads) 2 years old 
I think it's all a status symbol to most people. They want to have a huge ring so that people will see it and it makes them look like they are rich and have a lot of money. And that 2 month's salary rule is stupid to me. I don't see why just because my husband makes a decent amount that he should be spending wayy to much money on a ring!
@MissAsB Amen!
Even though my ring is smaller, because it is flawless it still cost a lot of money. We did not give one second's thought to the 2 or 3 month's salary rule, as we both think it's rediculous. And I HATE that people who have smaller or non-traditional rings get stupid comments instead of a huge heartfelt congratulations.
@di5308: I know! I hate how I get weird comments because my engagement ring is 3 stone instead of 1 stone. I like the three stone better for me personally because then I don't have one big honking stone on my finger that I would probably hit on things!
I think people don't know what to do when things stray from the stereotyped "normal". I wish the focus of an engagement was more on decision to wed, than the ring or instant battery of wedding questions.
My ring is fairly modest. It is a 1/2 ct. princess cut solitaire--practically perfect quality. I love it, it is exactly what I wanted. I tried on some much fancier--and much more expensive--rings, but they just weren't me. My fiance and I are both young and still in school. I am proud that he paid for the ring in cash--not having to put it on a credit card. He says that in a couple of rings he would like to replace the center stone with a larger princess cut, but I love the ring I have now because he gave it to me.
oops... meant to say "in a couple of years he wants to replace the center stone" ;)
@MissAsB: Yeah, I get the feeling everyone thinks mine is a promise ring. People usually don't say anything about it at all.
@jduck: Ugh, I wish people would realize that it's good that you and your FI didn't go into a load of debt over a ring!
@jduck84
people are rude!
@ Juliet0310
my favorite part about my ring is no debt! sure we could have afforded something bigger, but why? see people can see it from farther away? No, not when we're about to be newlyweds saving for a house!
I have a 2 carat solitaire. He had a budget (actual cash he had saved), and we looked, and we found something we liked within the budget, so that's what we bought. I love my ring; it's been almost a year and I still love it just as much as the day I got it, if not more. I don't think it looks "huge" on my hand, but I have short, fat fingers.
@Corgi - I don't think you should feel bad, it is really sweet that he put hard work and effort into your engagement gift.
@di...I think that goes both ways though...it's not just when a ring is deemed too small...it's also when a ring is deemed too big...or not traditional in terms of the stones.
too small - your FI either doesn't love you enough or is broke or cheap
too large - the ring is either fake, financed, or not good quality
a different stone - see above reasons for too small
....these aren't my opinions but rather the stereotypical reactions/reasons people tend to attribute to e-rings.
For me..it's about my FI knowing me well enough to give me something that exceeds my expectations. I get comments from the "too large" category all the time....but I brush it off and keep it moving....or vent about it on WB 
Thanks for your kind words. I mean, I realize that I'm just being insecure anyway and shouldn't let it bother me, but that's still good to hear. :)
I am a pretty active person and left handed. I thought I always wanted the typical 1ct + solitare platinum engagment ring, but they are so not me! I ended up with about a .65 flawless center stone (round) set into an antique-y setting. It's a 3 stone ring, with the two side stones being pear shaped. (Think petals.) The rest of the band is baguets and the outside of it is pave. Very different, very me. I love my ring!!
My ring is a 2.21 carat colored stone. I never intended or expected a stone that large....it 'just happened'. The stone, while not expensive, is fairly unusual. It's just not that popular for jewelry these days, so there's not that many floating around. All the ones our jeweler could locate for us seemed too small, or else the wrong shape, for the geometry of the ring we'd chosen. So this stone finally came along, and it's an amazing color and clarity AND the right shape....so we bought it.
Practically: yes, sometimes the height of the stone can be inconvenient. I am one of those women with bigger knuckles than fingers--so the ring spins like crazy. It has to be a size 6.5 to get over my knuckle, but could probably be a 6 or a 5.75 to fit my actual finger. Very frustrating. And I never intended to wear my ring like a piece of fashion jewelry--taking it off every night--but I can't sleep with it b/c it's too high.
I love my ring---the only thing I wish I could change is to make it not spin! I have asked many many people for ideas on how to get it to not spin, with no luck.
I might be a "big ring girl". Freshman year of college a bunch of us girls were talking about our dream angagement rings and I drunkenly decided I should email my boyfriend a list fo "requirements". He clearly ignored it since when he went to buy my ring (four years later) he had to call my best friend for my ring size (which was mentioned a millon times in my lame email).
Im glad he disregarded it because what he picked out is much more me, and while it still met my carat requirement (ok ok I know I was a jerk!) I cant imagine a smaller or bigger ring looking as good on me.
Why he picked out this size? Hes a big time saver (his mom jokes that he spent his first communion money on the ring). So he had the money. Now that we are buying a house together and planning a wedding sometimes I look at my ring and think how nice that extra mony would be, but I wouldnt trade my ring for the world.
@ostra72: Oh how I hate the spinning-ness of my ring. Damn these big knuckles.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
