Post # 1
i wrote about this on my blog the other day but i wanted to hear some feedback from my fellow bees. the mister and i had a pretty frank discussion about our relationship the other night where he admitted that the only reason why we’re not engaged right now was because he doesn’t have the money to buy the ring he wanted me to have yet. he then asked if he could just give me a candy ring pop instead.
i know he was joking but i did think about it for a moment. why is there such a fuss for a piece of jewelry that won’t make him and i any more engaged than we already are? but truthfully, i know i wouldn’t be happy with a ring pop or even with some twine, as romantic as that is. so why do i want a ring? for the reason why i love my promise ring: it reminds me of the day he gave it to me and how it symbolized our intent and commitment to one another. and it’s why i want an ering, so i can remember the moment he asked me to be his wife. and it’ll be why i’ll want a weddingband, so i can remember the moment i became his wife.
so, why do you want an engagement ring? or why don’t you want one?
Post # 3
I want one because it’s a tangible symbol of my relationship status. Besides that fact that it will be one of the few nice pieces of jewelry I ever own in my life.
Post # 4
It is a symbol of promise and commitment.. but if you know you both want to get married, set a date and start planning as long as he can get a wedding band who cares right? For me, I love the symbolic meaning of the promise, the token of love that a ring represents, but even though I don’t have one (yet) I am still stoked about planning and becoming husband and wife. It will kind of be rite of passage for me once I get it though. There is a lot of emphasis on the ring these days.
Post # 5
For me, there were two main reasons. First, because it says to the world that I’m his and he’s mine. That’s pretty darn cool. 🙂 Second, because it’s rare, in my life, at least, that I have an opportunity to get a beautiful piece of fine jewelry (and I love how diamonds sparkle)!
So basically, I second what VikingPrincess said. 🙂
Post # 6
I want one as a sign of our/HIS commitment. I don’t want a diamond, I want an opal, and he knows that. I will feel good everytime I look at it and everytime someone else does!
Post # 7
@abbee, we talked about going ahead and actually setting a date [we have one in mind] and planning but it’ll be a bit of a gamble since we’re ldr and looking for work and a place to live. i hope we’ll be able to pull it off before we get married!
thanks for your input ladies. i just thought it was an interesting topic to discuss. i love hearing everyone’s opinion.
Post # 8
the ring tells the world that he has made the descision or you have made the decision that this is for life and you will start planning your wedding!!
My partner said a similar thing to me about being able to afford the ring he wanted to buy me, so i set him on track saving for it!!
its ok to talk about it and the reasons why he cant do it now, but get him to be proactive and start to save!! (if hes not already, which he probably is!)
Post # 9
Ooh, interesting topic.
My reasons were a bit different. FH used to say that we were engaged before he actually proposed. But he wouldn’t announce it to his family or make any definite plans about our wedding and our future, so for me an engagement ring was the thing that said to me, “I’m so proud of you and I want to marry you and I want to tell the world”. And that’s why I wanted an e-ring.
Post # 10
Im in the same boat. The only reason we arent engaged is because Mr. Tee cant afford a ring. I told him id be happy with a string or a twist tie.. but he will have none of that. I love him so much and I know he is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.. and the distance doesnt help.
Post # 11
Historically, engagement rings were basically collateral – if a girl got engaged and then her fiance left her, she wasn’t considered pure anymore, so to prevent fear of that, the guy would spend a lot of money on the ring and put it on her finger as a way of saying ‘honey, I invested too much in you to leave you at the altar’.
Romantic, no? ; )
Post # 12
As odd as the historical story behind e-rings sounds (that @Katiebelle explained), IMO it still holds true today, if you think about it! Honestly, even though it seems materialistic to want a *nice* e-ring, to me if I was literally given a “ring pop” or even an inexpensive silver ring or something, I hate to say it but I would not take the proposal/engagement/his intent as seriously as I would if he were to give me a real, nice ring. If a man works hard and saves up thousands of dollars to spend on a piece of jewelry to ask for your hand in marriage, he means it! That’s a commitment in and of itself! This is not, of course, to say that every man who does not propose with a pricey ring doesn’t “mean it,” but I know I’m not alone in feeling this way, that a ring is more than just a sentiment. Maybe it’s the trust issues in me, but I do want the “investment,” along with the promise. :-/
Post # 13
So this is from someone who had a fairly non-traditional engagement ring. I wanted one to remember the day we were engaged and that feeling of excitement.
But to me investment wasn’t the important thing, we’d been together for years so I felt he was fairly invested and I have a fear of losing an expensive ring so I wanted something that had sentimental value to us to remember our engagemenent (corny – yes). So I have a silver ring with beach stones from where we were engaged and it always brings back those happy memories.
Post # 14
I want one.
1) it’s a public proclamation. “I love this woman and I commit to sharing the rest of my life with her.” My boyfriend has said a million times that he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me, and I believe him. But that kind of a ring is an investment, not only of money, but of time and thought and intention. It’s a tangible symbol of all of that.
2) Even though I’m not really into jewelry and never wear rings, I still want a sparkly diamond on my finger, just once in my life.
Not getting an engagement ring would of course not be a deal-breaker for me. But I would be disappointed.
Post # 15
I don’t have an engagement ring. Earlier in our relationship, I wanted an engagement ring because it would be nice and almost everyone gets it when they get engaged. But then I saw how much pressure it put on my fiance, not only financially and also emotionally. After assessing my intentions of wanting an e-ring, I decided I don’t need it. I felt like it was selfish of me to want it. I know it’s a symbol and it’s something I’ll probably never have, but I figured, we’re having a short engagement. My fiance is able to save up the money if not for the wedding, but for our future. I also didn’t want to delay an engagement/marriage because he didn’t or couldn’t get me a ring. Marriage is much more important to prolong it even more because I can’t get an e-ring. Don’t get me wrong, it’ll be nice to have it, but if it complicates things, it doesn’t matter. I love my fiance, we’re getting married this month, I have a ring-less hand but by the end of this month, I’ll have a beautiful wedding ring symbolizing our commitment to each other. Now that’s so much better!
Post # 16
Everyone has pretty much said what I’d add, but if I really loved someone and I’m wasting time living or being together as a mere couple rather than husband and wife because he didn’t have money for some ring, then what does that truly say about me? I’m much more interested in the committment itself; the e-ring can come later. Hell, my proposal was just okay even though I had a ring; I’d be much happier if I had an amazing proposal and perhaps the ring came much much later… But that’s just me…