Post # 1
Hello, my fellow bees! This is my first post. My boyfriend (21) and I (19) have been dating/in a courtship for two years. He brought up marriage very early on, which I liked because it let me know that he and I were on the same page. I’ve always wanted to be married, but it was only after meeting him that I have become really into weddings and, thus, have joined WeddingBee. We are both still in school and not ready financially to be married. I want to have graduated and have a good job before I’m married, and he wants the same. That was just a little background info on me before I dive into why I want to be married and my questions to other bees. So besides loving my guy and wanting to be his best friend and love till the day I die, the reason I most want to be married is:
I want to live with him and sleep with him. (I believe these things should be reserved for marriage. Respect my beliefs, because I respect everyone else’s.)
Since we are waiting until marriage to live together and have sex, this makes us both want to be married as soon as we are ready financially. However, many bees do both before marriage.
So I am really curious as to what marriage means to you/what changes marriage will bring to you/why you want to be married.
I am not judging anyone who does cohabitate/have premarital sex. This is purely MY perspective on marriage, due to my relationship with God and the way I was raised. I do not want to be put down for my beliefs, and I have not and will not put others down for theirs. I expect answers that are UNIQUE to the bees that write them, because everyone is at a different point in their lives and has experienced different things. Thank you for reading and for the respect (:
Post # 2
I lived with my DH for almsot 5 years before we got married (6 weeks ago). Marriage was important to me because I feel like the bond between and husband and wife is different than that of a boyfriend & girlfriend. Its not necessarily different in every relationship, but in ours, bf/gf was quite different than FI’s and even more different than Husband/wife. I feel like we’re more of a unit, a more solid team. We had kept everything separate (finances, homeownership, his stuff/my stuff) until we were married, so there is an actaul difference in the way we approach things now and I assume it will be more different as time goes on.
Post # 3
My husband and I lived together, purchased a house, had sex, etc., before we were married, so being married hasn’t changed our relationship in anyway. However, the legal aspects (finances, insurance, etc) are much easier to deal with now. To be honest, I would’ve been perfectly fine being bf/gf for life if we could’ve gotten the same benefits (i.e. taxes, health insurance, etc), especially since I was planning on never having children. Now that I’m pregnant, I’m really glad that we’re married, but I don’t think it’s as important to me as it is to other women.
Post # 4
We are from different countries, so in order to ever live together permanently, we needed to be married.
Therefore, having that legal commitment is very important. It gives numerous benefits, and in our case we have mainly seen that benefit in regards to immigration. I also cannot see myself having children with someone I was not married to. I’d want a legal binding (with the intent to keep it for life) with my partner before we dived into the life long commitment of parenthood.
Post # 5
CassidyInLove: I did live with my husband for a few months before we got engaged and during our engagement.
I’m 31, we knew we were in it for the long-haul.
We wanted to get married to forge our union. We wanted both legal and religious support to our partnership. We still want that and we are more stable in our commitment to each other. Not that we weren’t before, but the marriage has changed over that single independant woman I’ve been for the past 31 years to a partner for the longhaul.
Post # 6
Charliejeorge: housebee: bowsergirl: nadnuk: Thank you for the interesting, unique, and honest replies! I liked reading them all.
Post # 7
CassidyInLove: I am also waiting to get married before I live with FI and have sex. We are really excited about this new life together and all is happening in 4 days yey.
Post # 8
My SO and I live together and have since early in the relationship. We both want to get married because we”ve dated other people before, and know that we’ve found something special in each other. I don’t expect much will change with marriage in terms of the way our relationship works, but I’d expect that the commitment will be deeper for a number of (mostly legal) reasons.
Post # 9
CassidyInLove: I lived with my DH for 8 years before we were married, as well as owned a home and car(s) together. I personally wanted to be married because marriage and the long term legal commitment is important to me. Both from a personal and financial aspect. I also want to have a family, and while I know I might not have done anything else “tranditional” – for *me* personally having children without being married is just not something I would do.
Post # 10
CassidyInLove: My FI and I have been living together for almost 3 years, have 2 cats and are have been intimate for quite some time so on that level, I can’t see marriage changing too much. However, I was not willing to purchase a home or start a family before marriage so we can get the ball rolling with that next year. I’m also much older than you (31) so making those things happen are very important to us.
I have a lot of respect for you and the standards you have for your relationship!
Post # 11
I want the security that comes with having the life partner box checked- emotionally, financially, and legally. I am sick and tired of the heartbreak that is dating (not my guy but dating in general is tiring), I need a commitment before I start a family or live with him, I want to prove my love and commitment to him publically and vice versa, I want our relationship respected by our families and peers, and last (and truly least) I am looking forward to the engagement, wedding process and day itself !
Post # 12
My FI and I have lived together from very early on, get down and dirty on a regular basis, share money and for all intents and purposes act the same as any married couple.
The main reason we both want to get married is we both think the other will make a fantastic parent and we want to start a family together in a few years. We both believe in being married before starting a family and I also love the idea of having his last name and the same last name as my kids. We both think we’ve found something really special in each other and that we can potentially last the distance and will enjoy the “status symbol” that comes with marriage.
He wants to join the military and spouses have more rights and get more benefits than defacto couples.
We also enjoy the idea of celebrating our love with all our friends and family and demonstrating to them that we are excited to show a committement to each other.
I want him to have a real tough time if he ever decides to run away from me!! hahahaha I joke.
Post # 13
We have lived together for awhile now so I don’t think it will change much. We want to get married though because we want to be a family and have children.
Post # 14
AnaA: Congratulations! How exciting!
CeeceeBee: starfish0116: MrsBuesleBee: Thank you for your responses! This is so interesting how every individual views marriage and how it will apply to their unique life.
BurlapnLace: Thank you, I really appreciate it!
Post # 15
CassidyInLove: I think this is a great question. Like other fellow bees, my boyfriend and I live together and are intimate. We have talked about marriage and our future together. Since early on we both had the same life goals and the past year we have had a lot of open communication about why we should/want to get married. For me, getting married is more than the finances and moving in together. For me it is the decision to spend the rest of your life with the person you love most. It is the decision to put your SO first in all areas for the rest of your life. It is giving all of yourself; mind, body, heart and soul. For me it is also finding the person you want as the parent of your child and as a partner in this crazy thing we call life. Although we live together, I don’t truly feel there is a real committment until we are married, because we can easily decide to go our separate ways. This is just my opinion and I feel marriage means something different to everyone.