(Closed) Why do you want to get engaged and married?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Here’s mine 🙂

Rebecca St. James put it this way:

“Marriage to me means unity, it means strength because I believe that both people can be stronger in their calling because of each other, and I really see that in [mine and my fiance’s] individual lives–that we’re stronger together.

I believe that marriage is a representation of Christ and the church and when Christ and the church are unified, they are the strongest and most attractive to those that don’t know Jesus and I also think that when husband and wife are united, they are strongest and most attractive to those that don’t know Jesus. We have a real desire to be glorifying to God in our life and our coming marriage. I just believe that marriage is a beautiful representation of God’s love for us and that there is such a cherishing that can happen in marriage that is different from any other relationship.”

Post # 4
651 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

SO and I already had a commited relationship, pretty much married except by name. However, the extra step was so that:

i) we both liked the idea of getting married

ii) also made us more secure (not saying it’s like this for other people but for me, it was like marriage is the final commitment which would make me SURE, like really SURE we’d spend the rest of our lives together)

iii) so much easier legally. No need to take initiative to protect ourselves legally as the default laws already protect married couples.Not just for property, if someone dies but also with children etc.



Post # 5
879 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Well for us, being married isn’t about legalities.  Here in Aus, if you live with someone for two years, have kids together or contribute majorly financially to the relationship (such as buying a home), then you legally have all the same rights as a married couple.

For us, its about being family.  My Fiance has never had a real family, and for me family is very important.  We have two kids together, and relationship wise we are very committed to each other.  So by getting married I will take his name and make our little family official, plus we are having some spiritual elements to the ceremony.  For me our marriage will be more about the spiritual union, not the legal one.

Post # 7
616 posts
Busy bee

My reason, and I think I will incorporate into my vows somehow, is “What better way to show you how much I love you than by getting up in front of all our family and friends and shouting it from the rooftop? And then celebrating it with a big party!”

Post # 8
515 posts
Busy bee

The only way to see each other on a regular basis is to live together. The only way to live together is to get stationed together. The only way to get stationed together is to get married. So we’re getting married.

Don’t get me wrong, we love each other and want to marry each other. But we’re both military though so it makes things a little more difficult. For us, getting married will simplify things so it’s a logical step to take.

Post # 9
3235 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Because it is important to me, and I will feel like I’m putting myself and my needs too far aside if we don’t. He respects me and he won’t put me through that. It formalizes a lot of those things  we would otherwise maybe just assume (and maybe assume wrong).

There are studies that show parents who are married tend to have happier, healthier kids that parents who are not married.

I want to have the big party so everyone knows how much we mean to each other. I want to have pictures to show our kids the story of how much their parents love each other. I want to have us together forever, and I want everyone to know how happy we are.



Post # 10
675 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@MabelleBliss:  Thanks for posting this question! I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, trying to formulate my own thoughts. 

@BrightGreen:  I really like this thought! That’s pretty much how I feel, I should definitely articulate it more. 

Post # 11
1069 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

because we love each other, want to spend the rest of our lives together, want to bring children into the world together, and want to grow old and retire together (altho SO is worried about his family history, the men don’t live past 65 but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there) Family is very important to us and we can’t wait to start our own. Well… I have to wait until he gives me the ring!

Post # 12
1425 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rosehill Community Center

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. Trying to justify for myself why I want something so permanent and a formal, legal commitment, and trying to ignore the pretty party part.

What I’ve come up with is fairly similar to a lot of the above, but mostly I’m confident that this is the man I want to be with and share my life with, and this is the next step. I feel like I’m waiting to do a lot of things until I get married, like having kids and owning a home, and even quitting my job to find something I would actually enjoy, because I want to have the stability and be able to depend on someone completely when I’m not making much money. Not that I don’t depend on him now, but I don’t think it’s okay until we are a unit, one family.

Also, after being together for 3 years, it seems silly that my relationship with my boyfriend sounds the same from the outside as jr. high kids’ relationships. Marriage would show that we are committed on a higher level, legally, emotionally, financially, etc.

I’m just so READY to move to the next stage. I love him, I love who we are together, and I love our relationship, but it just feels like time!

Post # 13
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

We are living together right now… I was in a religion that forbids living together, so the reason we are getting married. Then I could go back to my religion, after I get married.

Post # 14
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Firie:  Not sure how it works in Australia but in Ontario that is not true. Common – law has Some of the same legal protection after you have been living together for 3 years or the birth of a child but even then still not treated as though married. Everyone in this situation if they chose to stay this way should find out their legal position. 

Post # 15
1468 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

If I’m being honest with myself, I think I want to get married moreso for what the law, society, and others dicatate, than for myself. I don’t want to be judged for being with a man who won’t “make an honest woman out of me” or who doesn’t love me enough to “put a ring on it”. Or for having children out of wedlock. Just being honest.

Other reasons include…

-> I’d like my children to be born into a stable, intact family and home. Marriage doesn’t guarantee that but I think it raises the odds.

-> My SO wants to marry me! And he wants to mainly b/c he was raised in a stable household and his parents have been together for 30+ years.

-> Since I was raised by a single mother who never married my father, I’ve always wanted my future children to be raised by a mother AND a father. Again, marriage doesn’t guarantee that but I believe it increases the odds.

-> I also want that ROCK to show off, i’m not gonna lie! 🙂 The rings is important to me b/c it’s a symbol of the commitment and it let’s OTHERS know that there is a commitment as well. Yes, I care what others think. Shoot me.

EDIT:  Thought of a few more…

-> Because since the beginning of time men and women who loved each other and wanted to spend their lives together have formed a formal union and as far back in history as I know it was called marriage. I guess this speaks to tradition.

-> Marriage is universally recognized. No matter where you go in the world, people get married and know what it means. And respect it.

-> God blesses the union of marriage in the bible. “A man who findeth a wife, findeth a good thing.”

-> And I love my SO with everything in me and want to be able to call him my husband and for him to call me his wife!

Post # 16
140 posts
Blushing bee

@Reign14:  At least you’re being honest with yourself! I always say, just because you “dont care” what other people think of you, that doesn’t stop other people from judging you. Whether you care or not, how people view you IS going to have an impact on your life. I’m an alternative kind of girl, and I certainly haven’t lived my life the way I was “supposed” to, but I do have a healthy respect for the opinions of others.

We are getting married because we want to spend the rest of our lives together. We love each other deeply and have shared dreams for the future.  We want to be a cohesive family unit with our son (and future children) and we want a status of commitment that accurately reflects the way we feel about each other. We are already a family, I’m just missing the name. We both know we are in this for life and marriage is the natural next step for us. Having other people take our family seriously will be a nice perk as well. I can’t describe how annoying it is when people act dimissive of you for having a baby with your boyfriend. As if my child is somehow less valid for being born outside of a marriage. I don’t like it, but a lot of people seem to think that way :/

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