Weddingbee boards

I have always had a desire to be a mother. A yearning if you will. I love kids, not in the naive teenager way, kids are sooo cute I can't wait to have kids and not realize how much work and money they cost. I think about how much I love my niece and nephews and what I won't do for them. And I can't even imagine how it would be possible to love my own kids even more than that.

For my husband and I the decision to have kids is not because it's time. We've dated, we're married, we have a house, a stable job, OK it's time to have kids. That's not why for us.

We have a desire to start a family. Something that is completely and utterly ours. When the uncertainty and shortness of life hit us straight in the gut with my BIL's sudden death we decided to move up our TTC timeline. We realized at that point just how much we wanted to bring a baby in this world that was OURS. At that point nothing else mattered. Every other dream, want, checklist played second fiddle to starting a family.

It's kinda crazy to think about this little life growing inside of me is purely out of our love. We worry just as every other couple, if not more. About all the things that can go wrong that we can do wrong. I tell my husband as long as our child feels our love everything else will be OK. There's so much of her life we won't be able to control but we can control the fact that she will always feel loved by us no matter what.

@MsFrancez:

I LOVE your response.

I am not the best with words at times, so hopefully I can explain well. Our main reason for wanting children is family. DH grew up surrounded by much love and supportive family members. He has an amazing bond with his cousins, sister and parents. I however, grew up with a father that left my mother after 17 years of marriage for his high school sweetheart while my mother was pregnant with me and never looked back. My mother on the other hand had 5 children that no longer have relationships with her bc she chose men, crime and other things over us. When I was 12 I was almost placed in foster care bc she was arrested and I along with with my 9 year old sister was left with a BF who sexually abused us at the time. My sister who worked with CPS in another state heard of the problems and has raised me since. I'm now 31 1/2. Totally different family dynamic huh?

I've craved normalcy since the transition if such a thing exists. With my sister and I breaking apart from our dysfunctional family; I've wanted nothing more than to provide a safe, loving, nurturing home for others. Something I never had till later in life. I'll be honest and say for the longest time though I did not want kids bc of my experience, but I was shown by many that families are brought together in many different ways. I am not doomed to be my mother.

When I met my DH I knew he'd make a wonderful father with how he handles his niece and nephew and their deadbeat father. He's a protector, but he's also the most loving and soft hearted person. Unfortunately we have been suffering with infertility for the last 2 years and will pursue adoption. We see it as a blessing in a way and almost our fate that we were meant to adopt. We can provide a family to a child that doesn't have one, like my sister did for me. It's scary and yes we were sad with our infertility but we have always believed you build your own family however you need to. I know our little one or ones are out there just waiting to come home and complete our family. It's all in Gods time.

I'm adopted and have never known a biological relative. Due to the circumstances surrounding my adoption (long story, but I'm an international adoptee) I will most likely never meet my biological family. I grew up with a great family and wouldn't have changed anything, but I have always felt like there was something missing from my life and like I didn't quite fit in. It also makes me very sad when I see families that look alike and not only share features, but also share common gestures and mannerisms too.

I want to have kids because I want to hold someone in my arms that has my DNA running through their veins. I want to know someone who is biologically related to me. I just need it is all.

In my 20's and 30's, I wanted kids because that's what you did. There wasn't a huge pull to have kids, but I always knew I wanted them. Then I got really sick in my mid-30's. I had to concentrate on me and not finding a partner. I made peace with the fact that I would 1)not get married and/or 2)not have kids. My goal in life was to be healthy and happy. I knew I could be happy sans kids. 

Then I met DH and we got married when I was 40 (now 41). We both struggled with whether having kids was right for us. We both love and wanted a "family" and all the future hopes and dreams that come with kids, but at this age there is alot of effort and expense involved. We are soooo happy being married, we weren't sure we wanted to rock the boat. We wish we had a few more years to be happily married just the 2 of us before we had to make this decision. Bringing kids in changes things and I just wasn't sure if I wanted to deal with the lack of sleep, etc (along with a fear that having kids would bring on my previous illness).

But then I started to think about our lives 5, 10, 20 years from now. Would we be satisfied without kids? Yes, we would have more time, money and sleep. We could buy a bigger house and travel. But would that be enough? And I realized that no, I would not be happy without kids. There is only so much travel you can do to make up for the "living for something bigger than myself" feeling.

If for some reason our Fertility treatments don't work and we decide to not go the adoption route, I know I will make peace with it because I did everything possible to have kids. But for now, I really want to have a kid. (And in the TWW for my 1st IUI)