Weddingbee boards

I am keeping my last name in a different way... I'm making it a second middle name. I have such a close relationship with my family, that it was hard to think of not keeping my last name. So I'm still keeping it ;]

More importantly, why would you wnat to change your name? I don't understand the name changing thing at all. I'm still me, I'm not Mrs. X. I'm Dr. Y. It would be different if we were both changing our names - I'd like that, but unlike some lucky friends of mine our names don't merge well. Also, my name is perfectly fine to pronounce and spell. We'll see what happens when we have kids, but they'll probably just get his name.

I'm taking his last name, but I'm really going to miss mine! My last name is pronounced "petite" (spelled a little differently though) and I'm about 5'1'' with a very petite frame. I always thought that was kind of fun :)

I am taking my FI's last name but man, it's no light thing!!!  I'm 33 and I've obviously had my name all my life.  It's me!!!  To switch now feels a little weird.  My FI is supportive of whatever I decide but I know deep down he wants me to take his name.  I'm a pretty traditional person so I will change my last name.  I think it will make things easier when we have a child.  (I know it's not a necessity, but I do think it will be easier.) 

Luckily I have some time as we're getting married in March and honeymooning out of the country in June.  We booked our honeymoon & plane tickets in my maidan name so I'm going to wait until after the HM to make the official change.  I don't need to travel with a copy of our marriage license... I have enough trouble just keeping up with my passport.  :)

@Rachelss:  I totally respect your desire to keep your name, as I'm sure does everyone else here.  But I think the sentiment "why would you want to change your last name" is a little disrespectful of those of us who have decided to change our names when we get married.  I maintain that I'm me no matter what my name is, and I am not giving up who I am by taking on a new name.  There are a lot of threads like this on the boards, and everyone has a different view, but I think we're all happiest when we can just support the choices others make rather than questioning their validity.

I want to keep my last name because, like some other posters said, it's me. For me, I don't want to give up part of who I am, and my family, just because I'm getting married. I'm lucky, though, because we're both changing our names: he will be Mr. JDuck Andersen Smith, and I'll be Mrs. JDuck Andersen Smith. It was his idea, and I love that it will reflect both our identities and families.

I'm not keeping mine and it doesn't really make a difference to me.  Both my last name and FI's last name are difficult to pronounce, and I always have to spell it out on the phone, so that's nothing new.  Also they both have 10 letters, so my name is still 17 letters long, 22 if you count my middle name.  And while I really like being my last name (in college that's almost what I was exclusively called by my co-workers who also used to work with my older brother), my husbands last name has two I's in it and I have always wanted a name with an I in it.  Don't ask why, because I really don't know!  I used to use my full name all the time first middle last, just so I could write the I in my middle name!

For years, (14 to be exact) it was expected that I would carry on the family name (Dad only had me, his brother had two girls, no other sons to carry on the name).  So for most of my life, I expected to carry on my name.  Plus, it's a name that Great-grandpa CHOSE when he came to this country - most immigrants were named after their home village or something, but Great-grandpa wanted a name that showed his celebration of becoming an American. And, being a teacher, my last name happily doesn't rhyme with words that are teasing or offensive (actually hard to rhyme), which is helpful when teaching high school.

However, my uncle married the mother of his son in my freshman year & both she & my cousin took our family name.  So, now really no legal impediment to taking FI's name, but... his name rhymes with too many teasing words & too easy to rhyme (it's only one syllable), so while I'm taking his name (he's been adamant, but rationally logical in his arguments on the subject), I'm keeping my name at work (all legal docs will change, but the students won't know my new name).  It's just easier this way.  And, in the one area that my last name is used most, I'll still have it. 

Note: we are discussing the possibility of FI taking my name as a second middle & giving my name to each of our kids so our family represents & respects both sides...keep your fingers crossed for me!

@monitajb--I'm really really not trying to start a debate about name changing vs. name keeping and I'm not trying to have a competition over whose choices are questioned more.  As I said in my original post, everybody makes different choices and I think the best approach, especially for us bees, is to support one another's choices without questioning their validity.   I felt that the validity of the choice to change one's name was being questioned, and so I pointed out that I didn't think that was the right approach.  I apologize if I was overly sensitive, that tends to be one of my weaknesses.  I think you're absolutely right--women who choose to keep their names are constantly defending that choice, and it's not right.  So I don't know why a group that has to defend their choices to others would turn that same treatment on another group--namely women who choose to change their names.  In a class I took on gender and sexuality as an undergraduate, this issue somehow came up and I was the only woman in the room who indicated that she intended to change her name upon marriage--the looks of astonishment I received were pretty overwhelming.  It was as though I had let down my entire gender and feminists everywhere.  All of us have the experience of others questioning our choices--I believe this thread was started to hear the many interesting reasons that bees have chosen to keep their beautiful names, not to question the bees who have made different plans.  That's the only point I was trying to make, and I apologize if I made it poorly, or if I in any way offended.  It was certainly not my intention.  As someone earlier, on a somewhat contentious thread said....I like cake.  Who else likes cake?  ;)

I'm keeping mine because it never occurred to me to change it! We'll be married regardless. I love that women have a choice in the matter, but it still sucks that the burden/decision-making/stress falls on the woman.