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Haha people are weird. I don't know why FB should be an indication of whether you fight or not. Maybe your friend is used to seeing updates from the types of girls who air all of their dirty laundry on social media for attention.
Like you, yes sometimes we fight. Do I post it online for all of my friends and family to see? Hell no. Haha
@Mrs.Estep: I just lol'ed at the thought of having a camera when we argue hihihi, that would make for some funny pictures as being Portuguese we are loud and move our arms alot lol
FI and I always get that, people see us play around all the time and they don't think we argue. We have never had a huge fight but we do bicker back and forth. We can't fight to be honest we have tried and we just look at each other and smile and laugh lol
@Mrs.Estep: Totally agree. When SO and I are in an argument my first thought is NOT to post on facebook. I dont understand when people do that. When the argument is over, that post will still be there. (Unless its deleted, which most people dont do) lol
I agree with not posting about and documenting agruements on facebook. I never post when me and my SO fight, that would be weird I think. I remember back when I first got on facebook a friend asked if me and my SO had broken up because he was not in my profile picture. I thought that was a pretty dumb assumption, he doesn't have to be in all my pictures. He currently isn't, in fact I think another guy friend might be but me and my SO are fine. Facebook makes people cray cray
@newenglandgirl: Lol, I've gotten that too- when we both change our profile pictures we've been asked if we broke up. Um, no I just got bored of my last picture, lol.
@Mrs. Estep: I've noticed that a lot of couples go to FB with their relationship problems before even mentioning it to their SO- their SO has to comment on their FB status, "What's wrong? What did I do?" These are also the couples that tend not to last, at least from what I've seen.
@newenglandgirl: WHAT???? Someone thought you broke up because... your profile picture??? Facebook does make people cray cray! haha
I actually hate seeing people "fight" on facebook. I have a friend who ALWAYS posts things like "well I guess SOMEONE won't be the first person to wish me happy birthday this year. Thanks to those of you who texted me tonight before bed. No point in waiting up for SOMEONE to call if he won't be the first!!!!".....and this was the night before her birthday so basically she was penalizing him for waiting for her ACTUAL bday!!! And did it in a way so a whooole lot of people knew about it. Passive aggressive much?
@bells: It was, it took me back after she said that. It made me think that I was making us out to be perfect on the internet. But then I thought about it again & I am sorry if it makes me look that way but I just don't like posting so many damn personal things on there! lol
@Mrs.Estep: Ugh, I know the feeling. I have had some snide little comments about how we seem SO happy. It is annoying, yet funny - like yes, we are that happy. Everyone bickers sometimes, but not having big blowout fights (and moreover, having the tact not to post about disagreements) is definitely not a bad thing . I think a lot of these weird type of comments stem from people trying to make themselves feel better about their own crap.
The very nerve of you to not air your dirty laundry to the cyberspace public!!!
My FI and I bicker, like sarcastic back and forth, but rarely full out argue. We are just that sort of people. We tease, we push but don't explode.
LOL, people are ridiculous sometimes. I don't like it when people post their life story on FB for all the world to see...why do any of us need to know any of that? FI and I bicker. Constantly. It's funny, we laugh, and I'm sure people think we're serious but we're not. We have gotten into 'spats' a few times, but nothing major, where we don't speak for days or scream at each other or anything. Even if we did fight all the time, I wouldn't put it on FB. If I need to vent, I text one of my friends or he'll do the same. I never try to make our life out to be perfect either, but some things are not meant for the world to know.
People ask because they want to know if their own relationship is normal. They want to know if you really are as happy as you seem, and if it's possible that your relationship is better than their own. People obviously realize that your husband and yourself are very happy, and want to know if you ever argue to comfort themselves; (i.e. if they argue a lot in their own relationship, they want to know that it's possible that their relationships can still be healthy); And some people would also like to think that there is NO WAY that you can be as happy as you seem.
Just let them know that you prefer to keep your personal life "personal" and don't feel the need to post every detail of your marriage on Facebook.
Ha. I know this couple who are known for having a rocky relationship to say the least. They used to publicly air their FB relationship status but they broke up so often that every time they got back together people would make jokes about it all over his and her page. Plus she would require him to make his profile pic a pic with her in it so when he removed that pic everyone knew what was up. They've since stopped because they got tired of being the butt of everyone's jokes but it's still an ongoing joke that we can always tell their relationship status just by looking at their friend's list. One day they're friends, next day they're not. One day she is posting about how much she hates homosexuals that are pretending to be straight men, the next day she is talking about how much she loves her baby and can't wait to spend the rest of her life with him and they are on some vacation with his family. It's been going on for 2 years and they've broken up at least 80 or 90 times.
I think somehow this is normal for this generation?
Mabey they are projecting on you? I have a girl at work that askes me if FI and I are fighting almost everyday because we don't talk/ act coupllly at work . She actuall said that she's not sure we love each other..... No dear, we're working, and there is not much time for lovey dovey conversations while you have 35 tickets in the window.... ( we're both cooks at a resturant)
No one has asked me that. We get the "I love your relationship," which I think is equally as weird. I don't post our fights on Facebook, but believe me, we do!
I've read in another post that you and your husband are pretty young. Your peers (in general) put all of their business on FB. That's what they do. They don't seem to know any better. You are obviously mature for your age. : )
lol wow, thats really weird of people to ask such questions honestly... but to be fair though, Ive seen many of your posts ( the ones with pictures ) And you and your husband seem like a veryyy happy bunch! ( Bless!! ) So maybe people are fond of ur relationship and take your relationship as an example?
@Mrs.Estep: Haha yeah. I have no idea why that would be the conclusion someone jumps to over a picture change. It's a picture! I just laugh.
@Mrsgurzakovic: Thank you! We are!! :-)
@2ndtime: Yea. That is very true! I see so many people my age posting their dirty laundry on facebook!
BUT this women is in her late 20's & married with 4 kids.. This is her latest post today (Blew me away!!!!)
up and about....trying to look for a job and then move the f*ck out of this place and away from this f*cking idiot. good luck to him paying child support on 4 kids when he can't even afford his damn bills
@Mrs.Estep: Wow, just...wow. I can't believe people post things like that on facebook.
I had a facebook friend who is about 30 now I believe who posted all about how she was getting divorced because she got cheated on and how she hoped the other women was worth it. I would see the posts and think "this is none of my business!"
I have a friend who posts are her relationship drama of FB and I just think to myself, I would be so embarassed if I left my dirty laundry hanging out there like that.
People say the same thing about DH and me. It gets kind of obnoxious after a while to hear how you must have a "perfect" marriage. There is no right answer to that. Either you say yes and look like you think you are better than everyone or you say no and people assume all kinds of drama.
DH and I have a fantastic marriage. It really is about as close to perfect as I could imagine a marriage ever being. I tell people that I can't imagine anyone loving anyone the way we love each other. That being said, we really don't fight. We do not however live in an utopian bliss. For instance, the $600 I just wasted; he wasn't happy about it but we didn't fight. It is what it is and we go on. Not perfect, but still wonderful.
I get asked this a lot! I always tell them and of course we disagree sometimes but we NEVER yell, NEVER speak poorly about each other and NEVER post it on facebook! We don't air our dirty laundry as FI likes to say. We get along very well, but everyone fights sometimes. Our "fights" aren't even about big issues usually, it's because one of us is crabby.
I see you're from Grundy, VA. I've noticed that just about everywhere I've been in VA, it seems there are tons of unhappy couples (and they all love to ask us how often we fight/argue). Or maybe they're just immature for the way they handle things (like posting on facebook).
They figure if they argue so much, it's either a sign that opposites attract, or they're both so passionate that it will surely work out, but really, it's alright, they really love each other...
Then they figure that if you don't argue, you're not made for each other because there's no spark that incites you to yelling, that you're holding back, that it must be miserable not venting... and then it must be so nice not to fight/argue all the time...
I would not want to be with someone who I spend a lot of time arguing with. That just doesn't seem like a good idea. You can provide guidance and exchange ideas without yelling/shouting/breaking dishes. At worst, FI and I will have no-talk-time and go to bed annoyed because one of us is upset and doesn't want to bother the other with our troubles, even though the other doesn't want to talk about it right then.
People have asked me and FI this, too. Yes we fight and bicker, I just dont tell everyone about it.
I know that FI's half brother's girlfriend posts EVERY TIME they have a fight. And it turns into family drama fest. So dumb. But so entertaining...
Oh, dear, I hope no one asks me that! Sorry you have to hear it all the time :(
It's definitely our age. People assume that because a huge chunk of our generation is ridiculous (and it's sadly true) that we all must want the world to know this and that about our relationships. No, in fact, no one needs to know when I am annoyed that he hasn't paid X bill yet. Nor does anyone need to know when I get huffy at him watching too much Speed Channel or listening to too much ACDC or Van Halen. It's just irrelevant.
We've been asked "how we do it" before. How we do what? Manage to have a healthy, adult relationship? Same way others do. Lol. Sometimes it's just curiosity which is fine. Other times I think it's people being WAY too open and/or nosey. I do NOT need to hear comments like, "Well I wouldn't know what THAT feels like, we haven't had sex in 4 months" all over FB! Gag. TMI. And I would never want parts of our lives to be so easily accessible!
End tangent? Lol. Sorry.
I used to have a picture of my brother and I as my profile pic. My SO and most of my friends knew who he was but a few didn't. People were coming up to my SO asking who the guy was in my profile pic. He was like "uh, her brother" that made evryone feel dumb.
I lol'd at the cameras in your home. I rarely put anything personal on FB anyway. People are odd for making *stoopid* assumptions.
I think people can tell when I'm sad or mad but they won't know it's because my FI and I are arguing unless they ask and I actually feel like talking about it. I have friends on fb who post how they hate their SO and then they fight right there on the page... I think it's just them looking for sympathy or someone to come in and start a bigger fight- they may just thrive on fighting - I can't figure it out.
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Atleast 50 people have asked me this over the last 5 years of our relationship. YES, we have argued before we have been together 5 years! Do we argue alot? No! Do we bicker sometimes? Yes!
Someone just asked me and said well it doesn't seem like it on facebook. Well that is because everytime we argue/bicker I don't post it on facebook! I sure don't try to make our life look perfect but I don't write personal things on there either.
Do you get asked this? I mean I see people writing about their arguements all of the time on facebook and I just don't know why? Yes we look happy on facebook because we ARE happy! No it doesn't look like we argue on facebook because I don't post pictures of us arguing since we don't have cameras around the house to catch us doing so.
lol