- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
I got engaged to my fiance about one month ago and the last few days he has just beenall about finding fault things things I say and do!
We are not having a traditional wedding; we are eloping. It makes sense financially and it will make things a lot simpler but part of me still wants a little of the brouhaha that goes along with getting married. We agreed to have a casual engagement party at a karaoke bar. We said we would invite people a month before. We were just going to invite people thorugh facebook because its just convenient, but the day we were going to sit down and invite people, we were tired. fast forward 3 days later and he *desperately* wants to watch the youtube streaming of the Jay-Z concert (which WE WENT TO on thursday night) and I said please lets just invite people itll be like ten minutes. He huffed and puffed and said he would but by then I was checked out. He didnt want to and I was just not in the mood. This ERUPTED into a huge fight…somehow leading to him threatening to throw me out, call off the wedding, etc. I gave him time to cool off and he apologized for everything and said we could have the party. We sat down and invited people and magically, it was painless.
2 days later, we were discussing our elopement (we were planning on getting married in italy and honeymooning around europe) but the paperwork and everything is so much for eloping in italy…that i said forget it, why dont we jsut get married in hawaii and honeymoon there…we’ll do italy another time. (i dont love this idea because i lived in italy for a short time and hes never been there and I really wanted to share it with him but I figure, this will be easier) He is ecstatic about hawaii (he loved volcanos) That night he is going ON about how hawaii is SO DIFFERENT than anywhere else we’ve ever been (ummm sandy beaches and palm trees? Just like honduras, mexico and belize and the bahamas….we have both been to.) it bothered me because italy IS really different than anywhere we’ve ever been, hawaii isnt. its just going to be easier and more relaxed for a honeymoon. so i say that im disappointed that he just cast the other idea aside so fast when i was really set on that. He gets mad at me because apparently im not allowing him to have a differing opinion. Ooooooookay. We diffuse it and have a cordial evening…until I go to bed before him and imw aiting for him to come with me and I call out from the bedroom “are you coming to bed?” “yes” “tonight?” “UGGGGGHHH OMG I SAID YES IM COMING TO BED WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU %^$^#&(**&%^&$” and he goes on and on about how i was ‘aggressive” in asking him about going to bed (he kept quoting me wrong, saying that i said “are you EVER coming to bed!?!” when i DID NOT say that. we let the fight drop, but we barely spoke the next day.
The next day (last night) he comes home late and I made him dinner and he says he missed me and it was a fine evening. Today is okay even. Until we are talking online at work and he says that someone in his office got promoted but their group doesnt work with him so it doesnt matter. He said it was a good thibng though that he is friendly with this guy. I said why does it matter when your groups have nothing to do with eahc other and also, you had that last boss who you were friendly with but who did you no favors in terms of helping you move up. Now im “attacking his judgment” I called him at his office to discuss because we often misinterpret online and we always call to work it out before it snowballs. He doesnt want to hear my explanation that I am acually blaming the people, not him. He just wants to find fault in everything i say.
Finally, I just IMed him after we got off the phone and said that he should figure out whatever is bothering him because i am not his enemy and he is interpreting EVERYTHING i say negatively.
what do i do??????? ugh 🙁