(Closed) Why does it seem doing the right thing is the hardest??? =(

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Ouch – I feel so bad for you, this is an extremely difficult situation and how sad that is is now getting in the way of what is supposed to be a happy time – your wedding!

The terrible thing are the poor kids who are involved. I can empathize; FI has already warned me of certain family members of his that hit others up for money ALL the time (doing things such as going to a pizza place, ordering the pizza, then calling someone else to come pay for it b/c “there’s no food at the house and the kids will go hungry”).

I know it’s easier said than done, but as young soon to be newlyweds with a child of your own, I think you will have to put your foot done with your aunt – sooner is better than later.  You say yes, and your aunt will inevitably believe you will say yes to other requests later.  One thing I firmly believe in such situations is to never flat out give money – or, I’m sorry to say I know it was a very awkward situation – a gift card.  You have no way of knowing where the money goes.  If your aunt needs Pampers or whatever, you can generously offer to buy her one pack when you go to the store later and leave it at that. 

You could also ask her for her receipt from Target – it should say how much she spent and how much the balance is (knowing the balance could be your reason).

I’m soooooo sorry *hugs* I hope she comes through and gives you the right amount of money, but from the information you’ve given us, I’m afraid I wouldn’t bet on it Frown

Post # 4
Member
1740 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

mmm, i think that qui40067 is a great advice. you are a great person but you need to do something because i think they are taking advantage of you

Post # 5
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I’m so sorry – you are in a very tough spot.  If you have the money, you can regularly drop off food/clothes/diapers for the children.  Make sure you remove all tags so your aunt can’t exchange them for stupid items.  Do not ever give her cash or gift certificates since she may not use the money on the children.  It will be very difficult to refuse these requests, but you should do so for your own sake, and because it is much better to ensure the kids get healthy food instead of coke.

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