why does it seem so common to cheat now?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Has there been any cheating in your relationship with your current SO?
    Absolutely positively none : (110 votes)
    68 %
    None that I know of : (29 votes)
    18 %
    He has cheated on me : (4 votes)
    2 %
    I have cheated : (13 votes)
    8 %
    We both have cheated : (6 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3280 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    People have no morals anymore

    Post # 4
    Member
    342 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    People have never had morals, they just used to be much better at hiding their indiscretions 🙂

    Post # 5
    Member
    8282 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I wholeheartedly believe that no single person walking this planet should be trusted.  As long as you are capable of making a mistake, you shouldn’t be trusted.  Anything can happen no matter how “perfect” someone’s relationship may be, in my opinion. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    3420 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    I think that the internet and other forms of social media make it easier to cheat, but a cheater will cheat no matter what. People still cheated on their SO’s back in the day, it was just less likely that the other person found out- less of a trail to leave back then. Now people find emails txt messsages ect

    Post # 7
    Member
    525 posts
    Busy bee

    I’m not really convinced that cheating is more common than it was. I can only think that one way it would occur more is the whole internet thing that wasn’t around way back when. 

     

    That being said, I would never be able to go on acting like it didn’t happen. My SO and I have dealt with a lot, but I know cheating would be a relationship breaker because no matter how much I love him, it would be clear that our love was and would never be the same. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    182 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I think it is more that people TALK about cheating more. If you think about it people (aka men) “cheated” on their spouses with concubines, courtesans and misstresses and the wife still stayed because it was what was expected.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2696 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @MrsStayPuft:  THIS.

    I am pretty certain that people were always just as immoral and cheated JUST as much. I’ve heard some pretty messed up situations that have gone on back in my grandparents day.

    The difference was that women were more timid and didn’t pack up and leave when the infidelidy was discovered.

    Post # 10
    Member
    212 posts
    Helper bee

    I voted “none that I know of”, even though I am 99.99999% sure it hasn’t happened. I think it can be dangerous to have the mindset of “it could never happen to me” – not that you should be paranoid and mistrustful of your SO, but obviously no one goes into things thinking they are getting together with a cheater.

    I will say that I don’t think that cheating is definitely an unforgivable offense, I think that almost anything can be worked through with therapy if both partners are willing. That being said, I wouldn’t look past it or act like it wasn’t a big deal either.. I think it would be a complicated decision on whether to stay or go and dependent on a lot of factors. All I can say is I hope I never have to face that situation!

    Post # 11
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I think it’s always been common–It’s just gotten more prevalent in your social circle!

    The way it seemed like “Everyone is having sex” in high school. People have always had sex! It just got more present around you specifically.

    Post # 12
    Member
    863 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @katydaisy:  I actually think cheating seems more common because before, people just moved past it and pretended it wasn’t happening. In the old days people were encouraged to keep the relationship going no matter what, even if both parties were miserable and no longer in love. Since there is a lot more stress on both people being, you know, happy in a relationship nowadays we aren’t tought to just bite the bullet and let our love for our spouse fester into hatred and bitter resentment because they’ve mistreated us anymore. So now talking about relationship problems is less taboo so you hear about them more. 

    ETA: I think there is probably less cheating nowadays, actually. People marry for love now and have the option to divorce without being social outcasts so they don’t need to carry on with other partners if things fall apart. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    7664 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    I don’t think this is more common than it used to be. We just hear about it now that we all post anonymously on the internet.

    And no, despite a long term LDR, I have certainly never been unfaithful, and I don’t believe DH has either.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2169 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @Rubbs:  That’s an interesting thought. How does a relationship function without trust, though? Or in your mind would trust only be given on a temporary basis?

    Post # 15
    Member
    8282 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @MissMarple:  I just always have my guard up, I guess.  I trust my husband, but will never trust him or anyone else for that matter 100%, not even myself… I’m that way with everybody, but it doesn’t mean that I’m not going to associate with people.. I just know that if someone does screw up, it won’t be a complete surprise, like how the OP said she believed he would “never” cheat.

    Post # 16
    Member
    208 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    i didnt know how to vote on this one. my FI has never physically cheated on me but I once found some messages between him and a girl from California that were totally inappropriate- to some this isn’t cheating, to me, it broke my trust . i forgave him after a lot of thought about what to do and that wasnt easy but he made it worth it. just curious while we are on the topic, if others have had similar situations or if people consider that “cheating”? as others mentioned, the internet and social media have made it way easier to cheat nowadays…. in my grandparents day, a girl that FI met on a trip years ago and lost touch with would have no relevance, the ability to exchange instant conversation wouldn’t be right at his fingertips- and so easy to say something he might not even mean. 

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