Why does the ring size of those around you matter?

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@FutureWifeyV:  Personally, I don’t care what others around me have or don’t have.  One reason to see what the “average in your area/circle” is could be to assess your own expectations as reasonable vs. potentially unreasonable.  Otherwise, I see no value in asking others if they think your ring is “too big” or “too small”.  It would be tantamount to asking if you should marry your partner…..you should already know the answer. 🙂

Post # 4
Member
918 posts
Busy bee

My opinion is that it doesn’t matter.  Or at least, it shouldn’t!

Post # 5
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@FutureWifeyV:  I could not care less what people in my circle or area have, personally!

Post # 6
Member
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@FutureWifeyV:  people will always compare. Most people I know have around same size as me a few smaller, few larger. Most are around my age are about the same..My mom and FMIL have teeny stones. I just wanted to love it and have a nice sparkler. I don’t really compare it myself, but I’ve had people compare their SO ring to mine. I picked it out, so if they say anything negative I think they are being douchey, since it basically is insulting my decision and preferences…

I never wanted size over quality to begin with. A lady at my job said her friend was bragging back when all of her group was getting engaged and the bragging lady had a huge carbon deposit haha. So they all talked about how the lady had a bigger stone but it was so easily seen by the naked eye to be flawed. I’d rather have a smaller better quality stone. Mine is no where near perfect but it looks damn good to me and everyone compliments me on it. I have small hands so I didn’t want anything too big bc I thought it was gaudy looking on me. 

Post # 7
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

It doesnt (and didnt when my DH and I picked out my ring) matter to me! I think some people dont want it to be “flashy?”

Post # 8
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee

@FutureWifeyV:  I don’t even notice other people’s rings, unless it’s very, very big and you can’t help but see. But statement rings are not that common where I live, and if they wear one, it’s not an e-ring or wedding band, it’s just a fashion accessory.

Post # 9
Member
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

@FutureWifeyV:  Going over the average is a display of conspicuous consumption. That’s a social message that some very much want to send, and others very much don’t. Going under represents the opposite social message, again sought by some and avoided by some. Average size is basically saying “no public comment” on your financial status.

It’s no different than other status items such as cars, handbags, etc.

Post # 10
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here… lol

I think in the context of the Question as it was posed “Is this too big / showy” then the feedback of “What is average for your area / social circle” is appropriate

Traditionally, an overly enthusiastic show of wealth was considered rude (bragging)

Somehow, in recent time the world has gotten away from this concept (ie the 7 Deadly Sins… ties into Greed – Envy – Pride and Vanity)

Hence I think that both the Question & Answers were valid.

 

Post # 11
Member
4468 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@FutureWifeyV:  I think the questions are fine to ask, and are usually done out of curiosity but answers are not actually used to make any final decisions. I don’t care what other people have, but I do love looking at different rings!

Post # 12
Member
613 posts
Busy bee

@FutureWifeyV:  This is and interesting topic! it has baffled me for a while! I live in boston and the average is 1.5-2.5 and higher! I on the other hand asked for no more then 1 and even that is on the higher side for me! (ps I havent gotten it yet)  BUT on the other hand 2 of my good friends are married one has a .30 and loves it my other friend opted out of the e-ring all together and just has a band. I realized in comparison my ring could look flashy in my group of friends but I was quickly over it. why should I care? they wont!

Then there is FSIL who has a 2.5+ when I told her what I wanted I got “o thats it?” I have never been so insulted. Why does she care? because I dont care for what she has that was her choice.

Sorry rant over!

Post # 15
Member
1312 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

To me, it DOES NOT matter. I saw something posted here on the Bee, that I think is something to think about….

 

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”

 

 

Post # 16
Member
489 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I have one friend with a white gold illusion princess cut (9 stones, I think the equivalent would be a 2ish+ carat princess cut, so it’s pretty large) halo that’s split shank with a wrap band, one who isn’t engaged yet but wants a yellow gold round solitaire (large stone), another friend with a princess cut solitaire (also a pretty large stone) with channel set sidestones in white gold, another friend has a swirly-looking bypass-ish cluster ring in white gold, and mine will be a round milgrain bezel with a halo (large) and a floral-type split shank with bezels on the ends two wedding bands (all platinum, all euro-shanks), so we’re all different, and no one has judged yet!  Honestly I love all of my friends’ rings as well as my own, I think they all reflect our personalities!  

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